General Discussion

MadrasT

(7,237 posts)

8. Ugh, the city was the worst.

Wed Jun 4, 2014, 08:59 PM

Jun 2014

I used to work in center city Philadelphia -- I remember once, like 20 years ago, out on Market Street near the Liberty Bell, enjoying a cigarette break in the middle of my work day, all dressed up wearing a nice suit and heels... some important-acting dude in a suit walking by stopped to lecture me about how "A pretty young girl like you should know better than to be smoking!!! In this day and age!!!" and shook his head with disgust. Like I had ruined his whole day.

I didn't even react. I couldn't. I was just standing there thinking, "Excuse me... who the hell are you and who asked for your opinion?"

It was so very... odd.

That is just one incident that stuck out in my mind.

Some random dude thinks it's OK to lecture a stranger because "a pretty girl shouldn't smoke in 1995".

Sorry to bust up your fantasy, asshole. I wanted to grind out the butt in his face.

To this day, I regret not telling him off. And "young girl" my ass, I was 30 years old. And he was like, the same age. Asshole.

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Highlight:

Smile, Baby! A New Study Shows How Often Women and Gay Men Are Sexually Harassed on the Street. [View all] Agschmid Jun 2014 OP

Good article intaglio Jun 2014 #1

Love Slate! Agschmid Jun 2014 #2

Great article ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #3

Thanks. MadrasT Jun 2014 #4

Well it clearly is! Agschmid Jun 2014 #5

.. MadrasT Jun 2014 #7

:thumbsup: BlancheSplanchnik Jun 2014 #9

Great article. Squinch Jun 2014 #6

Ugh, the city was the worst. MadrasT Jun 2014 #8

I went to the 12th street gym... Agschmid Jun 2014 #15

And yet, there are those here who insist that entitlement doesn't exist. Squinch Jun 2014 #18

I had a similar experience, in the early '80s. I was smoking at my desk (in those days you could) raccoon Jun 2014 #24

I live in a small, rural town and I get it regularly, but it isn't as threatening and not vulgar. redqueen Jun 2014 #25

The "smile" always seems like Squinch Jun 2014 #31

Not that I've noticed. redqueen Jun 2014 #34

Because it is someplace where your income and success depends on being respected, and it's a Squinch Jun 2014 #36

Kicked and recommended. Uncle Joe Jun 2014 #10

No problem! Agschmid Jun 2014 #14

I would wager that almost 100 percent of women could tell you at least one harassment story Arugula Latte Jun 2014 #11

5% of men have someone flash their genitals at them? Spitfire of ATJ Jun 2014 #12

k and r niyad Jun 2014 #13

And it starts as soon as girls enter puberty -- by age 11 or 12. pnwmom Jun 2014 #16

Yep. Arugula Latte Jun 2014 #26

Sexual harassment by peers our own age starts even earlier. nt redqueen Jun 2014 #30

It doesn't really define how often people are harassed, just if harassment ever happened. elias7 Jun 2014 #17

You could easily get a feel for the answer to that question by listening to the women Squinch Jun 2014 #19

It is kind of funny how many of these discussions go like this KitSileya Jun 2014 #22

Exactly. Or another response: Squinch Jun 2014 #23

I'll never forget the time in college when my boyfriend was visiting me in pnwmom Jun 2014 #28

I understand that, but that's why the study is weak elias7 Jun 2014 #37

So you need a study to tell you how often women get hassled. Got it. Squinch Jun 2014 #40

And you applaud this study that tells you even less? Got it. elias7 Jun 2014 #41

If you are truly curious, start by reading this thread. But I know, I know. You need a study. Squinch Jun 2014 #46

I don't get the hostility or condescension elias7 Jun 2014 #48

I don't get why you are presenting a brick wall. Squinch Jun 2014 #49

I am not insisting on a study, you are misunderstanding me elias7 Jun 2014 #50

I wonder if some men figure this out when they have daughters. pnwmom Jun 2014 #44

I agree: are the 18% men and 51% women harassed once/year or 12/times/day? zazen Jun 2014 #51

Too fucking often. winter is coming Jun 2014 #21

When I was a pre-teen I had to walk a mile or so every day -- and it happened every day. pnwmom Jun 2014 #27

This is what men need to know elias7 Jun 2014 #38

And men don't get that it's not perceived as flattering. pnwmom Jun 2014 #39

I don't know what they are thinking, intending or expecting elias7 Jun 2014 #42

We talk about it often, told we talk about it too much some say. Another thread an old man seabeyond Jun 2014 #43

I don't think you talk about it too much elias7 Jun 2014 #45

It is embarassing and humiliating. Behind the Aegis Jun 2014 #20

I remember in my 20s, walking down a street in New Haven magical thyme Jun 2014 #29

These must have been some terrifying experiences. Squinch Jun 2014 #32

I was pissed as hell, not scared, magical thyme Jun 2014 #33

It seems to work for you. Squinch Jun 2014 #35

I am a man who has suffered Vattel Jun 2014 #47