my friend said, "it is never, ever okay for white people to say (n-word)."

[felix_numinous]

53. Freedom of speech

gives us the freedom to be socially conscious or to not care and be offensive. We are free to be either sensitive or callous--but the best judge of what is offensive or prejudiced behavior falls onto the recipient--because NO ONE else can understand. And to err on the side of sensitivity is the way toward a civil society.

One of the marks of ignorance is using derogatory terms and not caring who is excluded from the group. Over my lifetime I have learned a lot, that ignorant and dismissive behavior are often very subtle, that much communication is in body language and expression. We don't have that here, which really messes with our being able to trust each other. So I agree that derogatory labels only serve to risk damaging an open and trusting forum, and will drive away any diversity that we have here.