my friend said, "it is never, ever okay for white people to say (n-word)."

[gvstn]

77. Stings is correct

The word does sting for most people. I'm in my 40's and I can say that I have never heard someone called the n word to their face. That in itself says something. The word is rarely used as a public insult anymore. (Maybe in junior high during desegregation--I heard it.)

I never used it or thought it. My mom said something like, "That word is disgusting and I don't ever want to hear it come out of your mouth.". I was obedient and that was that. It would never occur to me to think of someone as that word.

I think anyone that still uses it in any context is working off the prejudices of their parents. In another generation there won't even be jokes spread around in private. No one will remember them. And the word will die off.

Most of the ethnic stereotype insult words are dying off. I won't abbreviate them because I think it is stupid. Spic, Jew, Guido, Pollack etc. They have fallen out of use because they probably originated during large waves of immigration where different ethnic groups of poor immigrants wanted a group poorer or less educated than them to look down on to make themselves feel superior. I'm not excusing the behaviour just surmising its evolution. Same will/is happening with the n word.

All that said, I feel ridiculous writing the "n word" twelve times in posts in this thread instead of using the word. Putting the word in type makes it visible in all its ugliness. Sometimes you have to face something ugly to see that it is ugly.

News reports that say a man was called a sexual orientation slur before being beaten gloss over ugliness. News reports that say, "The men yelled, "You Goddamn cocksucking faggot" at Johnson before beating him so severely he lost one eye and suffered traumatic brain injury, let the ugly be seen for what it is.

Oh, and editing Twain would be a great crime. "Negro Jim" also lets people gloss over that ugly words exist and are dangerous.