General Discussion

davidpdx

(22,000 posts)

47. No

Sat Jun 14, 2014, 04:15 AM

Jun 2014

Before I go into explaining why, I want to say I think this is a worthwhile conversation to have. It's probably more common then people think in the US. I personally experienced a similar situation (though my mother worked during the day) as I was about the same age (maybe a year older) and had to take care of my younger brother. Both of our childhood's were fucked up. I was a good student in high school and eventually graduated college. I can't say the same for my brother unfortunately. He got the raw end of the deal being so young. This is obviously leaving out a lot of details that I won't get into since it's personal.

I personally don't think a 10 year old is mature enough to take care of a sibling unattended. Helping around the house in general is one thing, but being in charge, no. I can only give my opinion as someone who went through something similar. My childhood had a profound affect on me and influenced my own choice to be a parent.

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How many people feel a 10-year-old is responsible enough.... [View all] moriah Jun 2014 OP

given the choice between both being placed with foster parents CreekDog Jun 2014 #1

I was that 10 year old, and it was overnight a couple of times... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #2

You'd need an "it depends upon the 10-year-old" for me to vote in this poll. ScreamingMeemie Jun 2014 #3

There is a difference between what is best BainsBane Jun 2014 #4

Exactly. Hassin Bin Sober Jun 2014 #10

yup, and even with our criticisms of Duggars and others nobody is saying the cops JI7 Jun 2014 #14

The other poster was in Illinois -- 8 hours alone is felony child abandonment. moriah Jun 2014 #15

And? BainsBane Jun 2014 #16

If they're committing felony abandonment routinely to go smoke dope.... moriah Jun 2014 #19

I don't think you've read that thread very closely BainsBane Jun 2014 #21

I agree those are spurious reasons, but it boils down to abandonment.... moriah Jun 2014 #22

*SHE* says the kids are home alone all night laundry_queen Jun 2014 #29

and even more important if she wants to help why doesn't she pay for her utilities JI7 Jun 2014 #30

sounds like she is just Niceguy1 Jun 2014 #70

And CPS will investigate now to determine if it's still happening after this or not. moriah Jun 2014 #31

why can't you get that she doesn't have the fucking money for a babysitter ? JI7 Jun 2014 #38

There is free child care available in Chicago, along with Head Start. moriah Jun 2014 #66

Switching shifts isn't that easy gollygee Jun 2014 #105

Per the other poster, graveyard is for the shift premium. moriah Jun 2014 #107

I having seen personal attacks so much as calling out contradictory claims magical thyme Jun 2014 #86

that's right. A landlord isn't a social worker... magical thyme Jun 2014 #81

Hmm depends gollygee Jun 2014 #96

Of course there is etherealtruth Jun 2014 #88

+1 gollygee Jun 2014 #95

this is a case of a single mother who is struggling, one needs to consider all the factors JI7 Jun 2014 #5

Still, it's not right to force kids to grow up faster than they should. moriah Jun 2014 #23

it was wrong to report it because i don't believe the intentions were good JI7 Jun 2014 #25

I know they certainly wouldn't be growing up any faster boston bean Jun 2014 #85

I had to watch my sister overnight alone at that age. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #6

I was that 10 year old, Uncle Joe Jun 2014 #7

I babysat for other kids when I was ten BainsBane Jun 2014 #11

Some ten-year-olds are more reliable and more interested in taking care of babies or JDPriestly Jun 2014 #27

You had the 19-year-old sister. That's adult supervision. Not all moms have that option. arcane1 Jun 2014 #8

Yes, I was very lucky. moriah Jun 2014 #12

Indeed, the system should've already been there waiting for her. arcane1 Jun 2014 #13

Hard to believe social services wouldn't have some type of help treestar Jun 2014 #102

Depends on the 10 year old aint_no_life_nowhere Jun 2014 #9

There are no pat answers to the question. defacto7 Jun 2014 #17

At nine I was allowed to littlemissmartypants Jun 2014 #18

That was me. I was 10 and my sister was 6. I did it for two years riderinthestorm Jun 2014 #20

When I was 10, I took care of a very young baby after school, but my mother was JDPriestly Jun 2014 #24

Sounds about like my supervised babysitting at that age. moriah Jun 2014 #26

Children and babies really liked me, and I adored them. Still do. JDPriestly Jun 2014 #28

What was amazing about that thread? Le Taz Hot Jun 2014 #32

So all single parents should hand there kids over to others? If the spouse abandons them... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #34

If you think it was about being a single parent, wow. moriah Jun 2014 #35

My issue is that some don't have a choice, even after trying everything.... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #36

It is exactly about being a single parent in most cases. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #90

I'm with you. 840high Jun 2014 #114

you don't know her situation, why she ended up the way she has, and just handing off kids could be JI7 Jun 2014 #40

I see two children being unloved and neglected. Le Taz Hot Jun 2014 #42

No you don't, those are your assumptions. n/t Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #43

i see 2 children whose mothers love them so much she is doing all she can JI7 Jun 2014 #45

What about the creepy person.... moriah Jun 2014 #46

put some bars or alarm system in place, talk to the mother JI7 Jun 2014 #50

I live in Florida. What sometimes happens to children who are sucked into the Florida djean111 Jun 2014 #74

10 and 5 year olds should NEVER Le Taz Hot Jun 2014 #78

The Amish down the road routinely allow 7-10 year olds operate tractors hexola Jun 2014 #33

What about drain cleaner? Rat poison? An electrical fire? Someone breaking into the house? moriah Jun 2014 #37

Actually yes, I remember learning a lot of that stuff in school. Were you not taught that? Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #39

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2014 #65

In that society they are surely taught from a young age treestar Jun 2014 #104

I was a very mature 10 year old. Ad it depends on where you live, too. McCamy Taylor Jun 2014 #41

And in this case, there was abviously an adult watching this woman's living arrangements all the djean111 Jun 2014 #75

We know our neighbors all around us - TBF Jun 2014 #79

Was that ten year old. Egnever Jun 2014 #44

My mom also worked at an answering service and was similarly available to call riderinthestorm Jun 2014 #89

No davidpdx Jun 2014 #47

As a struggling single mother, I refused to leave my child overnight with a ten year old... Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #48

Going for a night out is different from going to a job -- your only source of income. pnwmom Jun 2014 #49

So it would have been okay to leave my daughter with that ten year old if I was working that night? Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #52

so how would you pay for home, food, etc if you didn't work ? JI7 Jun 2014 #55

Did you turn your friend in to the police because she was leaving her children alone pnwmom Jun 2014 #56

I did report her promptly to the Thought Police... Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #59

Well, no one would have cared if the OP had reported the woman to the Thought Police. pnwmom Jun 2014 #62

also she kept mentioning the 5 year old but left out the 10 year old JI7 Jun 2014 #57

The complaint was leaving the five-year-old alone to take the 10-year-old to school.... moriah Jun 2014 #69

If she was wrong, DCFS should be able to determine that. moriah Jun 2014 #68

a night out for fun is different than working to provide for the family JI7 Jun 2014 #51

So a ten year old isn't a suitable option as babysitter for a night out? Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #53

it's not about whether the kid is suitable, but needing to work JI7 Jun 2014 #54

I was poor and needed to work... Violet_Crumble Jun 2014 #58

the US doesn't have a good system in place, most likely the Kids ARE best off JI7 Jun 2014 #60

In the US we do not have "sole parent pensions." Welfare is for a very limited period of time, pnwmom Jun 2014 #61

In the United States you work or you go homeless... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #64

There is little or no help for the working poor in the US etherealtruth Jun 2014 #91

People who need to work are in a different level of desperation than people who want to gollygee Jun 2014 #99

What keeps going through my mind is a house fire a few years ago ucrdem Jun 2014 #63

And lighters. A 12-year-old babysitter was sued by the insurance company.... moriah Jun 2014 #67

Electric space heaters, candles, Christmas trees ucrdem Jun 2014 #71

10-year-olds are more mature than 7 or 8 gollygee Jun 2014 #103

Their Spawn, Their Life, Their Choice Exposethefrauds Jun 2014 #72

So society has no responsibility to ensure the welfare of children? moriah Jun 2014 #77

That was not the question you asked Exposethefrauds Jun 2014 #80

You said that parents could chose to do as they wish no matter the consequences to the kid. moriah Jun 2014 #82

where is the choice that states "10 year olds should not care for 5 year olds overnight" DrDan Jun 2014 #73

I thought it was choices 1-3... sorry. moriah Jun 2014 #76

Sure, they're "responsible," until something goes wrong... then it's your butt that's on the line. TheBlackAdder Jun 2014 #83

Thank you. n/t moriah Jun 2014 #84

good point about the 10 year old suffering guilt treestar Jun 2014 #100

In Minnesota, the age is 12. Younger than that is not considered MineralMan Jun 2014 #87

There's a huge difference with the Duggars et al. Mariana Jun 2014 #92

Overnight and getting the kiddo ready for school in the morning.... moriah Jun 2014 #108

Under no circumstances a 10 year old should be left with a younger sibling to baby sit. Harmony Blue Jun 2014 #93

Crime rates are down from when we were kids gollygee Jun 2014 #101

This is obviously related to yesterdays thread etherealtruth Jun 2014 #94

sorry, this is not a cut and dried situation Kali Jun 2014 #97

I would say 12 - that is the age at which we were hired to babysit treestar Jun 2014 #98

If you have some knowledge of how the system works. Wash. state Desk Jet Jun 2014 #106

If the parent has confidence in the child, a 10-year-old can babysit a younger sibling... AngryOldDem Jun 2014 #109

in wisconsin 2 12 year old girls are being tried as adults for attempted murder dembotoz Jun 2014 #110

Depends on the 10-year-old, really no name no slogan Jun 2014 #111

too young for overnight. couldnt make appropriate decision if emergency occured Liberal_in_LA Jun 2014 #112

I spent about an hour alone everyday after school, entering my home with my own key, at 5. morningfog Jun 2014 #113