General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: my friend said, "it is never, ever okay for white people to say (n-word)." [View all]derby378
(30,252 posts)...and thoroughly crushing said words out of existence. I have you seen you declare that nobody should use the "n-word." And I agree with you on that. The word has been used to marginalize a group of people in our society that never deserved to be treated that way.
But I have to make a confession. Long before I ever embraced Quakerism, I got bullied at school a lot, and one of the worst bullies happened to be black. One day after he slapped my face, I decided I had had enough. I used the "n-word" on him. His veneer of superiority over me quickly dissolved into batshit craziness, which was the effect that I wanted. I had gained a certain type of power over him by using that word, the power to make him lose control over himself. But other black students got angry at me, as did other white students.
And yes, it was a different time before everyone's consciousness, including mine, was raised on the issue. I didn't use that word on my bully to insult his family or his race; I used it to insult him and him alone. But I'm wise enough to realize that my actions were still wrong, just as his were. I'm not going to justify my actions because I can't. I was just another snot-nosed kid like everyone else at school, including that bully.
At the same time, however, I refuse to take the OP's admonition that if I should ever quote her, that I should say "the c-word" when she actually said something else. What she said has been said, and she'll have to take the responsibility for it just like I have to take responsibility for my own words. And I honestly mean you no animosity at all - I have a sense of what you're trying to achieve, and I think both of us want the same thing, but we simply have different means of reaching that end.
And that's one reason I am now a Democrat.