George Will, The Damage You Are Doing is Atrocious [View all]

[demgurl]

Mr. Will,

I read, with a saddened heart, that you have decided to double down on your claim of over exaggerated rape report figures and women seeking status from reporting rapes.

You have said your column is "well within the bounds of legitimate debate." This is more than a debate about what is true and what isn't. I posted, on several sites, a reply to your first column. I sent my reply to you and your paper. My writing stated it is because of doubters like you, pointing the finger back at the rape survivor, that I did not come forward. I pushed away everyone who knew about the rape so I would not have to deal with it. I never realized until this week that I had not emotionally dealt with it.

Do you know what made me come to terms with my rape, Mr. Will? It was the outpouring from others. I had so many women write to me in public and in private. Some said it was the first time they had ever shared anything about their rape. Some told their story of multiple rapes. The one common thread was hardly anyone had gone to the police. The one person who said they did, ended up leaving the station without pressing charges. ("...a female cop interviewed me and grilled ME about how I was dressed, why was I there, did I say no, did I say it loud enough, was I SURE he had a knife...seriously??? I stormed out of the police station...&quot Many parts of the women's experiences mirrored mine but none so much as the part where they would not report their rape. Note the one person's experience who did go to the cops validated other women's reasons for not doing so.

You believe the numbers are too high. I contend the numbers are too low, Mr. Will. The numbers are low because of people with your attitude. Rape is both a mental and physical violation, Mr. Will. It is hard to get over the physical trauma but the mental trauma can be ten times worse. Attitudes like yours play within a woman's mind and make them wonder if you are right to point fingers. One woman wrote to me saying, "I should not have had myself in the situations I was in two of the times..." A woman should never take the blame for a crime committed by another. This is a major violation and when you speak out like this you end up causing the survivor even more harm.

Is this truly the mark you want to leave in the world? Do you honestly believe we get accolades, medals and parades when we declare we have been raped? That we achieve some status that gets us first in line for reservations at a trendy restaurant? What kind of status is it you believe we get? The after math of coming out is not fun. When you say you have been raped a lot of people do not know how to react or what to say. Sometimes we end up ostracized from those closest to us because they just are not sure how to handle it. You act like women feel they have won the lottery if we just claim we are raped. I want you to back up your thoughts with proof. What happens that you feel we get a coveted status? Why is being raped so coveted in your mind?

But let's get back to what truly matters - rape survivors and their well being. When you express unfounded attitudes like this (The St. Louis Post-Dispatch said, "The column was offensive and inaccurate...) it hurts women because they believe a lot of society feels this way. This leads to women's silence on the issue and violent unreported offenders out on the street waiting to commit the same unreported crime over and over. Are you really willing to contribute to this? You are doing irreparable harm by confirming what most survivors feel they know already - they won't be believed and they will be put on trial.

Mr. Will, you are leaving a legacy of hurt and anguish behind but you always have the power to reevaluate and take responsibility for your words and actions. What you have in your hands right now is an amazing and powerful thing. You can come out and tell people that if they are raped you will believe them and not put them on trial. You can influence people to feel that way as well. You can bring about a positive change in the world. Shouldn't the courts decide who is guilty and who is not? If you stop judging then the courts can do their job and women can find a sense of empowerment and relief. Trust in the courts and give survivors the support they deserve. Be a force in this world and make it a better place.