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uppityperson

(116,020 posts)
220. You continue to judge without knowledge of the facts and what toddler could perceive
Sat Jul 12, 2014, 09:50 PM
Jul 2014

"quiet humiliation" from overly judgmental people?

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Leashed kids in the mall. [View all] trumad Jul 2014 OP
This message was self-deleted by its author steve2470 Jul 2014 #1
I used to think so too but bad things can happen so quickly. CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #2
stroller notadmblnd Jul 2014 #5
kids need exercise too CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #17
Plus many are paper trained. ChairmanAgnostic Jul 2014 #111
one stroller with pedals Shankapotomus Jul 2014 #20
Wonder how much this pedaled stroller costs? vankuria Jul 2014 #109
Price in a seach come up between Shankapotomus Jul 2014 #126
Kids can be stolen from strollers. nt valerief Jul 2014 #81
usually the ones on leashes are the same ones that will not stay in a stroller lunasun Jul 2014 #105
You convince an energetic 2 or 3 year old they want to ride in a stroller. dflprincess Jul 2014 #211
All kids are different gollygee Jul 2014 #213
they sometimes want out of the stroller too 2pooped2pop Jul 2014 #301
Like any tool, they can be used well or misused. It drives me nuts to see kids in strollers uppityperson Jul 2014 #3
I disagree notadmblnd Jul 2014 #7
Many years ago, when my kid was 3, I was in London with him cali Jul 2014 #72
+1 !! exactly used in different sports = good point lunasun Jul 2014 #107
Why not? laundry_queen Jul 2014 #91
Righht on!!! Lurker Deluxe Jul 2014 #133
it is a very good place to exercise Niceguy1 Jul 2014 #153
Message auto-removed Name removed Jul 2014 #171
And I put a bark collar on my kid so when they yelled, they'd get a zap and learn to shut up uppityperson Jul 2014 #188
Message auto-removed Name removed Jul 2014 #190
What, you think the child is supposed to be in control? moriah Jul 2014 #192
Message auto-removed Name removed Jul 2014 #196
omg, I am so ashamed that I "controlled" my child!! uppityperson Jul 2014 #194
Did you walk to the library? cyberswede Jul 2014 #195
I had to change out the chain choke collar for a leather one in the library because of the noise uppityperson Jul 2014 #198
Quiet in the library, please! greatauntoftriplets Jul 2014 #214
stroller. i could not do that one. restriction of freedom and exploration. seabeyond Jul 2014 #4
I don't think anything is wrong with that Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #6
I'm getting ready to buy one for my grandson..... hedgehog Jul 2014 #8
ya. especially if you are older. true that. got a puppy. first time out, without leash, seabeyond Jul 2014 #10
Nothing new. I have a photo of myself, taken in 1949 MineralMan Jul 2014 #9
Your post is worthless without pictures!! madinmaryland Jul 2014 #57
My damned scanner is broken. MineralMan Jul 2014 #60
Lighten up Francis taterguy Jul 2014 #289
I, too, cannot understand how you could post antiquie Jul 2014 #63
Sadly, I don't have that photo in digital form. But here's another one, when I was six MineralMan Jul 2014 #74
Ooh, a real cutie antiquie Jul 2014 #78
Mischief? Perish the thought... MineralMan Jul 2014 #167
I'm not gonna lie. Rod Beauvex Jul 2014 #93
LOL. Either would do, for sure. MineralMan Jul 2014 #168
I recognize that bolo tie! MrsMatt Jul 2014 #197
Too cool! MineralMan Jul 2014 #204
I recall one from way back then. I can't remember it being used much, but now I remember it, as I RKP5637 Jul 2014 #84
your post with reflection had great image painted with words lunasun Jul 2014 #110
How nice of you to say that. MineralMan Jul 2014 #180
They were leather, some of them, with buckles, and not at all uncommon. MADem Jul 2014 #113
Yes. I've never really understood the objections. MineralMan Jul 2014 #182
All of those "handfuls" of days gone by were lucky kids! MADem Jul 2014 #202
True. We had enormous freedom as children MineralMan Jul 2014 #205
The child leash then is much older than I thought left is right Jul 2014 #311
Wouldn't it be something if every small child had the same temperament and impulse control? Tikki Jul 2014 #11
+1000! The caretaker should do whatever it takes to keep the child safe TheDebbieDee Jul 2014 #65
BINGO laundry_queen Jul 2014 #94
Exactly! Well said! City Lights Jul 2014 #117
I wouldn't take any 2 or 3 year old to a crowded venue without one. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #12
Big international airports--OMG.... I can CERTAINLY see why parents might want to use leashes hlthe2b Jul 2014 #37
I'm totally with you on that one, especially with more than one child. Laffy Kat Jul 2014 #59
I saw a little kid about three take off sprinting for the door at a hospital awhile back. His mom brewens Jul 2014 #13
Yep, Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #144
Isn't strapping a kid in a stroller even more restrictive? Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #14
It's a cultural thing. Igel Jul 2014 #102
Why the need to take them to the mall?? retread Jul 2014 #15
Presumably the family needs clothes. nt LeftyMom Jul 2014 #16
Only malls have clothes? No locally owned stores? retread Jul 2014 #155
All the "local" clothing stores here sell size 00 twee dresses and 70 dollar t shirts. LeftyMom Jul 2014 #201
What is wrong with taking them to the mall? nt Live and Learn Jul 2014 #18
You have to put your young children on leashes. retread Jul 2014 #156
You say that as if it is a problem. It is not. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #223
1. To buy stuff. 2. You don't have to worry about them running into traffic. Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #21
why not? it is cheap entertainment for a little one. acitivty. stimulation. social interacting. seabeyond Jul 2014 #23
Never too early to teach the little ones American-style consumption. retread Jul 2014 #157
seriously? saying to the person that hates shopping and hates spending more. right. seabeyond Jul 2014 #164
Saying to the person that says it is cheap entertainment, etc. retread Jul 2014 #165
activity. stimulation. social interacting. yes. a world of listening, seeing, learning and having seabeyond Jul 2014 #169
Taking a young child to the mall for entertainment is barely a notch above parking them in retread Jul 2014 #174
you do not know what you are talking about or just looking for a fight. either way, not interested seabeyond Jul 2014 #175
For many places, the mall has been comparable to town square. People go there to socialize, uppityperson Jul 2014 #208
tell me you don't have kids snooper2 Jul 2014 #284
How else does mom go shopping. MineralMan Jul 2014 #25
The mall is the only place mom can shop? What happened to locally owned stores. What a strange, retread Jul 2014 #158
Aren't some of the stores at the mall locally owned? agentS Jul 2014 #176
You may be correct. I don't go to malls. I wonder how they can afford the monthly nut? Malls retread Jul 2014 #181
I don't know. You'd have to ask her. MineralMan Jul 2014 #179
You did ask how else is mom to go shopping? retread Jul 2014 #184
She'd probably use the harness wherever she went. MineralMan Jul 2014 #187
Why does "need" come into play? City Lights Jul 2014 #118
Never too early to train the little ones to be a good consumer is it. retread Jul 2014 #159
Sometimes people go to the mall without buying anything. nt City Lights Jul 2014 #162
That's where the shopping is. Iggo Jul 2014 #131
Not all parents have a support system avebury Jul 2014 #152
If a town is large enough to support a mall, it is large enough to have many retread Jul 2014 #161
Size of town is not the issue. The point that I am making avebury Jul 2014 #178
Other people don't need your permission gollygee Jul 2014 #216
Because you have to get stuff? gollygee Jul 2014 #215
I took my daughter to Disney a couple years ago... Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #19
Would you also unstrap and remove kids from strollers, so they can also roam free? (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #26
Children are not animals... Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #28
You ever see a kid after they get hit by a car or fall down the stairs? CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #29
As a parent, it is our job to WATCH our kids... Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #34
Yep, damned parent had the nerve to turn their head Live and Learn Jul 2014 #42
+1 nt laundry_queen Jul 2014 #98
Oh, I don't know. Putting in an invisible fence and shock collar on my kids worked wonders for uppityperson Jul 2014 #61
Oh, I just saw you in the news gvstn Jul 2014 #233
Holding their hand isn't necessarily better gollygee Jul 2014 #238
or heard the screams and wails of a child whose foot is caught in an escalator? hlthe2b Jul 2014 #39
That kid is BACK on the escalator again. Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #43
Wow, that is so fucking funny. CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #86
my daughter knows to hold my hand when in parking lots snooper2 Jul 2014 #285
As mentioned upthread, not all kids are the same. laundry_queen Jul 2014 #97
My daughter has autism... Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #112
I guess we all just have to admit you are a superior parent to the rest of us. CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #114
foot, not hand snooper2 Jul 2014 #286
YOUR child with autism isn't someone else's laundry_queen Jul 2014 #115
Thank you and exactly. I am amazed at the attitudes. n/t Butterbean Jul 2014 #125
Exactly. I must be on ignore, or else he's just ignoring me uppityperson Jul 2014 #132
^^^^ This^^^^ TY laundry queen. WTF gets into some people? Hekate Jul 2014 #314
This message was self-deleted by its author ann--- Jul 2014 #124
Bravo, laundry_queen phylny Jul 2014 #172
Get Real! It is for the safety of the kids dem in texas Jul 2014 #22
I've done enough baby sitting for my toddler nephews BainsBane Jul 2014 #24
Or if you are very pregnant with a running toddler laundry_queen Jul 2014 #100
This message was self-deleted by its author Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #27
And who are YOU to question a DUer's desire to return? Your post ought to be self-deleted. Shame hlthe2b Jul 2014 #40
OK. On second thoughts, welcome back Trumad, and keep 'em coming (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #46
Shouldn't a reply be relevant to the post? Live and Learn Jul 2014 #45
OK, self-deleted (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #47
Very nice. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #49
I draw the line at choke chains. bluedigger Jul 2014 #30
how about pinch collars? KinMd Jul 2014 #69
I actually use a Martingale style collar for my dog. bluedigger Jul 2014 #75
I was using one of those pipi_k Jul 2014 #231
Nice looking harness. bluedigger Jul 2014 #241
Not just a good idea, it should be MANDATORY, IMHO. TheMightyFavog Jul 2014 #31
How about a toddler with mom holding his hand MineralMan Jul 2014 #32
Or, ir you have a really tall... 3catwoman3 Jul 2014 #92
My friend's daughter got her shoulder dislocated at age 2 years. Hekate Jul 2014 #315
We have a kid who, as a toddler, would vanish in an eyeblink. hunter Jul 2014 #33
Nothing wrong with it, depending on the child. Ms. Toad Jul 2014 #35
2 of my kids were mercuryblues Jul 2014 #68
I would rather see leashed kids (as long as they aren't dragged by said leash) than... moriah Jul 2014 #36
Before leashes, kids were tied together with ropes thelordofhell Jul 2014 #38
I had a few near misses with my boys Mz Pip Jul 2014 #41
My Mom had me on a leash and harness in the mid 1940s, but MineralMan Jul 2014 #44
+1 nt Live and Learn Jul 2014 #48
My mom did this with my brother in the eary 60s too. sufrommich Jul 2014 #50
Apparently, those harnesses and leashes MineralMan Jul 2014 #54
Or parents who think their kids should be abe to walk sufrommich Jul 2014 #64
Yes, I've seen that, too, along with a parent MineralMan Jul 2014 #66
Leading strings,weren't they called? Eom catrose Jul 2014 #274
"We will stay here until pigs fly, HockeyMom Jul 2014 #51
The two are not mutually exclusive. n/t Ms. Toad Jul 2014 #56
I think I need to start using a leash for my son when we are out in public. mysuzuki2 Jul 2014 #52
My 3-year old on a leash enlightenment Jul 2014 #53
Excellent explanation. I was like your child. MineralMan Jul 2014 #58
Thank you. Warpy Jul 2014 #96
Someone extremely passive-agressinve doesn't like you: Starry Messenger Jul 2014 #55
That's stretching the definition of trolling to new heights. sufrommich Jul 2014 #67
If we locked all such threads, this place would be dead. lol Starry Messenger Jul 2014 #73
Heights? I thought it was a new low. (n/t) Lefta Dissenter Jul 2014 #76
I have a sneaking suspicion I know that alerter BainsBane Jul 2014 #77
So much depends on the individual kid. I had a friend who, at 3 y.o., caught a ferry ride Hekate Jul 2014 #62
Was her mom's hair completely gray after that? sufrommich Jul 2014 #70
Probably! Hekate Jul 2014 #82
offer to watch them while mom(s) shops Kali Jul 2014 #71
+ one zillion nt MannyGoldstein Jul 2014 #101
I think leashes are wonderful. It shows the parent cares enough about the kid valerief Jul 2014 #79
Dogs are put on leashes to protect them from harm Mariana Jul 2014 #236
+1 gollygee Jul 2014 #242
No, no. It is to dehumanize them. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #268
+1 smirkymonkey Jul 2014 #290
I'm OK with leashes. All it takes is a brief moment of inattention and the kid(s) could be gone. nt RKP5637 Jul 2014 #80
They are useful in situations like that. aikoaiko Jul 2014 #83
My mother in law JustAnotherGen Jul 2014 #85
One of my earliest memories Cirque du So-What Jul 2014 #87
My son got away from me one time when he was about 4 steve2470 Jul 2014 #88
IMNHO.... nothing wrong with it whistler162 Jul 2014 #89
our experience - - Faryn Balyncd Jul 2014 #90
I've seen it since the 1950s Warpy Jul 2014 #95
Some kids really do need leashes! Quantess Jul 2014 #99
Yep…I remember the glares mindfulNJ Jul 2014 #103
Is this another damn appreciation thread? Gormy Cuss Jul 2014 #104
pet peeve> kids running around unattended or worse just ignored (The Unleashed) lunasun Jul 2014 #106
I think people need to worry less about how others parent their kids, so long as the children are MADem Jul 2014 #108
Pretty much my thought. The video of that mom dragging her kid by a leash, though.... moriah Jul 2014 #116
There are always dumb parents--and sometimes, kids can be irritating and young parents MADem Jul 2014 #120
Better safe than sorry. City Lights Jul 2014 #119
I always laugh greytdemocrat Jul 2014 #121
Yeah, I used to sit there and judge people's parenting choices without knowing their situation too. Butterbean Jul 2014 #122
Beaut! MerryBlooms Jul 2014 #151
My grandson has high-functioning autism & I got him a backpack leash after the 1st trip out in ... ebayfool Jul 2014 #189
My younger nephew preferred his leash to a stroller. politicat Jul 2014 #123
It is all fun and games Kurska Jul 2014 #127
I'm astonished by the responses that are posted here, at DU. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #128
I always watched my son like a hawk when I went out, except for the one time I did not... steve2470 Jul 2014 #129
And, in retrospect, each time you would now harness him? nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #136
I might steve2470 Jul 2014 #138
My two were, and with proper skills that burden was removed and the children will benefit later on. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #140
sincerely, I'm glad you were able to find that solution nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #145
It requires about 2-3 weeks of change, to all family members. Simple tricks and methods. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #148
I am glad you learned how to manage your children without continuing to verbally abuse them. However uppityperson Jul 2014 #150
What worked for me are industry standard best practices and works in most every home. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #154
And I see everyone's situation as unique. It may have similarities, but still is unique. uppityperson Jul 2014 #160
Not in the grand scheme of things. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #163
Mine was always very well behaved but I still used one. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #234
I think you are talking about much older children than I am. Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #264
I've seen a first grader sporting a harness at my mall a couple of years back. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #270
I had no idea that first graders were wearing reins. Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #299
Wow. Butterbean Jul 2014 #130
Yep. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #135
Sounds like those skills worked well for you & your 4 children. Faryn Balyncd Jul 2014 #177
They are almost unheard of in Metro NY/Philly. What makes this area different? TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #185
Some circumstances may be unique to a particular child or family: Faryn Balyncd Jul 2014 #203
That was a much different time. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #221
As a general rule 'leashes' should not be used in congested areas. Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #141
With adaptive parenting skills, the easy way out is without having to use a leash or a stroller. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #142
I'm not sure what you meant. Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #261
Folks up my way don't use leashes. I maintained complete control using... TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #262
when a kid starts pulling too hard on a leash do you give it a little tug tug? snooper2 Jul 2014 #287
Jury results pintobean Jul 2014 #143
Thanks Pintobean. I knew it would get flagged since I challenged parental behavior. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #146
I was not on the jury but I would have avebury Jul 2014 #166
As a single parent, I took my kids everywhere. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #173
Just because the use of leashes avebury Jul 2014 #186
Distress and Quiet Humiliation are two different things. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #193
Having a toddler connected to a parent by a strap is not "quiet humiliation" in most cases. uppityperson Jul 2014 #200
"Quiet humiliation" avebury Jul 2014 #206
The whole family isn't portrayed well. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #212
You continue to judge without knowledge of the facts and what toddler could perceive uppityperson Jul 2014 #220
Which facts are they? I have seen NO justification for them, other than parent's needs. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #222
Use of a leash isn't humiliating, brow beating, or being told they're stupid or lazy gollygee Jul 2014 #239
Just because you chose to handle it that way gollygee Jul 2014 #219
The kid is 'happier' on the leash, because that's the alternate option presented to them. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #224
Not all kids respond to simple corrective behavioral techniques the same gollygee Jul 2014 #237
Our second challenged us. The youngest challenged authority at all levels - all the time. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #243
Yeah but the thing is gollygee Jul 2014 #245
You act like you are helpless and have no control over your kids at all. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #249
She was 2 years old. gollygee Jul 2014 #251
...and she overpowered your hand. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #253
No I wasn't distracted gollygee Jul 2014 #254
I'm sorry. I would have bent down, redirected her anger, and if that failed picked her up. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #257
I did not lose attentiveness gollygee Jul 2014 #258
Our toddler was happy free range too, even as cars SCREECHED TO A STOP to save her life Faryn Balyncd Jul 2014 #283
Aisles, not isles. MrsMatt Jul 2014 #210
A dropped key when typing invokes an English critique. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #229
There is nothing dehumanizing about a leash gollygee Jul 2014 #218
Maybe it's some kind of urban evolutionary thing... hunter Jul 2014 #225
Could be. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #230
Here's an idea... pipi_k Jul 2014 #226
There are several categories of child behavior, each requires slightly different methods, but.. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #240
OK, I was hoping for a solution for pipi_k Jul 2014 #291
That is a solution. You shouldn't be such a defeatist. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #307
LOL laundry_queen Jul 2014 #297
LOL? You obviously have young kids. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #306
No, my older 2 kids are now teens laundry_queen Jul 2014 #312
A patient answer .... Hekate Jul 2014 #316
I assume you find diapers vile, dehumanizing and inexcusable too? Live and Learn Jul 2014 #228
Oh, the Quiet Humiliation of toddlers in diapers. If only the parents went to a coach and counseling uppityperson Jul 2014 #232
A toddler is between one and three. Many kids are in leashes until they are well past 5. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #246
I've only seen them with toddlers gollygee Jul 2014 #248
Because in NY/NJ/Eastern PA, they aren't used. What's different in less congested areas? TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #252
I am talking about toddlers. Stop telling me I am pretending, stop insulting me and assuming uppityperson Jul 2014 #250
I see more than toddlers using them, so it's not just toddlers that have leashes. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #256
The vast majority, including me, are writing about toddlers. If you want to include older kids, uppityperson Jul 2014 #267
trumad was referring to 4 & 5 year-olds too. Also, toddlers congesting the floor of a busy mall? TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #272
You didn't what age Trumad was referring to until right before your last post. Live and Learn Jul 2014 #276
Try again. Bee my post at 11:35 PM, versus Trumad's 12:14AM post. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #305
I thought you said they aren't used in your area? Live and Learn Jul 2014 #269
I said in 20 years I've seen them used about 6 times. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #271
And it is pretty repugnant to read your intolerance Ms. Toad Jul 2014 #247
Perform a Critical Read of that post. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #259
You know exactly what you were implying - Ms. Toad Jul 2014 #282
+++++++ uppityperson Jul 2014 #288
I do know, and your assessment is completely wrong. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #308
And it continues. Ms. Toad Jul 2014 #313
I had a harness (I'm 60) when I was little and so did my sons Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2014 #134
This thread isn't going to work TBF Jul 2014 #137
When I was a toddler, my mom had a white leather harness LibertyLover Jul 2014 #139
My daughter was a toddler when James Bulger was abducted and murdered... Violet_Crumble Jul 2014 #147
Tell me about it. Octafish Jul 2014 #149
I wore a harness and leash... TeeYiYi Jul 2014 #170
Their kids. They can do whatever they want. bigwillq Jul 2014 #183
It seems no matter what one mrs_p Jul 2014 #191
I'm with you, Trumad. cheapdate Jul 2014 #199
That was probably in the days when avebury Jul 2014 #209
Actually, it wasn't in the "old days". cheapdate Jul 2014 #235
I think that a lot of problems develop when avebury Jul 2014 #244
Kinda bothers me too... AngryOldDem Jul 2014 #207
Both are abjections of parental responsibility, whatever is easier for the 'adult'. TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #227
I love your posts in this thread trumad Jul 2014 #281
Hypothetical situation in which pipi_k Jul 2014 #292
Well, you know, "supervision takes effort" uppityperson Jul 2014 #294
Hah! pipi_k Jul 2014 #296
I've been there too, as a single parent. Stop making parenting so difficult. It isn't. nt TheBlackAdder Jul 2014 #309
Yep. I agree. AngryOldDem Jul 2014 #300
Good for them ProudToBeBlueInRhody Jul 2014 #217
I would not say anything unless I know the whole story. RandySF Jul 2014 #255
Trumad, about how old were the kids? gollygee Jul 2014 #260
trumad has not replied to any comments in this thread. NYC_SKP Jul 2014 #265
My apologies for that. trumad Jul 2014 #279
4 to 5 trumad Jul 2014 #266
Well they are grown now--- trumad Jul 2014 #280
I admit I strolled through quickly Silver Swan Jul 2014 #263
In other news, trumad is back. n/t flvegan Jul 2014 #273
Leashes, strollers whatever the case, rudolph the red Jul 2014 #275
leashes are OK DBoon Jul 2014 #277
I would rather see a kid on a leash than a kid struck by a car Kalidurga Jul 2014 #278
Plus the kid hit by a car... pipi_k Jul 2014 #293
that almost happened to me Kalidurga Jul 2014 #317
I usually hope the parents are doing the correct thing. I mean, some children... BlueJazz Jul 2014 #295
We HAD to restrain my sister with a littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #298
I've never seen that before.. 2banon Jul 2014 #302
Orlando trumad Jul 2014 #303
Oh yeah.. security. never know when some "stand your ground" nut job will decide to 2banon Jul 2014 #304
I think I was among the first generation if parents using leashes (my kirks are both in their )30s left is right Jul 2014 #310
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