General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: i think we should see all the pictures [View all]TNNurse
(6,926 posts)I have participated in viewing wreck victims with family members. It takes some judgment. Do you cover the worst wounds? Do you let them pull back a sheet to see something horrific? Would they rather not have that memory? Everyone is different and it is very hard to judge.
I once helped care for a young man who was shot and lived less than two days. Because of his wound he was given massive amounts of IV fluids to keep him alive and the effect was very disturbing. His face was grossly swollen, beyond recognition. His immediate family saw him. His teenage friends were angry they could not visit, they like all young people thought "they had the right". The family agreed with the nurses to limit visitors. It has been more than thirty years, I did not know him but the memory of his tragic appearance has stayed with me. I am glad those young people who loved him do not have that memory. I think of his poor parents and siblings.
Many people who are very sick or badly injured are adamant that they do not want people to see them that way. It is a matter of privacy and dignity. I have cautioned family members of sedated or comatose patients about who should be allowed to visit. "Would your husband, wife, father mother want their neighbor, coworker, church member to see them this way?
Should we see the flag draped coffins? Absolutely! Should we see their battered bodies before? Do we have the right? Should immediate family, certainly with some preparation and the knowledge that they are not required to do so.
The horror of this and other incidents needs to be shared so we can maybe learn, but we have to consider the dignity of the individual.
There is not one answer.