Yes, white men are being oppressed.

[wickerwoman]

181. Are we reading the same website?

Because as far as I can see, every single time marriage equality is brought up there are posters that say "not now... there are more important things to do... why can't we just unite around health care or the surge in Afghanistan or beating the next Republican, etc". And the same arguments are made (often by the same people) about women's health care, racism and religion.
In the 1960s women were told that the only place they had in left at the time was on their backs. That's where second wave feminism came from.
You want nuance but you are setting up good guys (the 99%) and bad guys (the 1%) and ignoring the ways in which the good guys are genuinely sometimes also the bad guys.
And yes, I do take your point that the 1% uses divide and conquer but it works for a reason. You have poor, ignorant people who can only feel better about themselves by finding another group to kick even lower down the social ladder. But you don't address that by going to the group being kicked down and saying "why don't you just unite with the poor, ignorant people attacking you so we can go after the big fish". You deal with the poor, ignorant people and get them to concede that maybe they need to stop attacking people even poorer than them and start looking out for their own interests.
By coalition I mean a group that has fairly negotiated terms of cooperation in which everyone is there because they choose to be there and because they are getting something out of it. Everyone contributes and makes sacrifices to join.
I would contrast this with "unity" in which one group says "shut up, stop bickering over your petty issues and follow me!"
Telling someone to ignore and give up on genuine pain and historical wrong and to stop asking for deserved redress *is* asking them to give up their interests and needs. If we're going to do that, we need to spread it around and it needs to be voluntary and negotiated.
You don't get people to follow you and cooperate by starting off with "what you care about doesn't really matter as much as what I care about, so get over it and focus on the big picture".