Obama motorcade reportedly prevents woman in labor from crossing street (Fox News)

[jmowreader]

15. Y'all know how this would have been reported in 1984 rather than 2014

PATRIOTIC MOTHER HONORS REAGAN MOTORCADE BY DELAYING BIRTH

LOS ANGELES (Spurious News Network) - Overwhelmed by patriotic emotion, a woman who learned President Reagan would be traveling by motorcade in the vicinity of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center staggered, in the throes of labor, to 3rd Avenue to pay her respects to America's Greatest President.

"She is a true American," witness Carrie Clifford said. "As the mother of five children I can vividly remember my first labor. I don't think I could have stood for thirty minutes, but she spent the whole time thinking not of her pain, but of the great freedom President Reagan has provided us. All America should be proud of her."

At long last, when she bravely surrendered to her pain, she was escorted into the hospital where she gave birth to a six-pound boy. Hospital spokeswoman Mary Smith reports the proud mother, Susan Jones, has named the child Ronald Reagan Jones. "She wanted a way to forever commemorate her feelings of this great day, and naming her son after our finest president is, as she said, the least she could do.