I once tried being a bit rough during you know what...

[kickitup]

9. I like it a bit rough and I like for my husband to slap my butt.

But we both know it ends in the bedroom. I also know I probably like those things due to some horrible internalization of our patriarchal culture, but I trust my husband completely, so I allow it and he indulges me.

I also write erotica. Although stories in which the couple basically live as slave/master and consent is dubious indeed are selling like hotcakes right now, I cannot bring myself to write them. What we view/read most certainly influences our culture at large. Fifty Shades has influenced our culture, and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. It seems to me that women readers are wanting more and more of the dominant/submissive stories, with the lines of consent not so clearly drawn.

If one is self-aware and understands one's attraction to that type of story, then fine. Go for it. Escapism can be a good thing. But what I see from reading blogs and forums are people who can't compartmentalize their fantasies and want it 24/7. That bothers me although they are certainly free to live that way if they so desire. I know that if I EVER wanted my husband to control me like that he would refuse, but he is a smart guy who would understand that it wouldn't be healthy for either of us.

My fear is that this attraction on the part of so many people to D/s relationships will spill over into societal attitudes towards the sexes in general. That's the danger of Fifty Shades, in my opinion. When they start saying shit like, "All women want to be controlled by a man," or "All men are by nature supposed to be dominant" is when I start to worry. That is out there being said if you know where to look.