General Discussion

Kurska

(5,739 posts)

5. Consensual BDSM

Sun Jul 27, 2014, 12:34 AM

Jul 2014

Did you miss the word consensual somewhere?

How can consensual sex be rape?

Just because something seems "rapey" in that part of the sexual thrill is about domination and control, doesn't make it rape.

This is a distinction people need to learn.

"Have you ever worked in the sex industry?"

My ex boyfriend did. Don't think that makes me an expert though.

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Consensual BDSM does not equal rape and sexual torture. [View all] Kurska Jul 2014 OP

Go on... Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #1

Just breath in that fresh thread smell brother Kurska Jul 2014 #4

Sometimes it does. bravenak Jul 2014 #2

Consensual BDSM Kurska Jul 2014 #5

Because sometimes people change their minds and it doesn't stop. bravenak Jul 2014 #8

And what exactly are we talking about anymore? Kurska Jul 2014 #12

You know what Kurska, my bad. bravenak Jul 2014 #18

You don't know that it's consensual BainsBane Jul 2014 #41

That's the argument treestar Jul 2014 #104

Apparently? Do tell. Scootaloo Jul 2014 #3

I would also like links, as well. Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #7

I don't think anything like that is kosher for DU. Kurska Jul 2014 #14

So you're not going to add content to your click-bait? Scootaloo Jul 2014 #22

I'm not getting what content you want me to add. Kurska Jul 2014 #28

No? here's your OP. Scootaloo Jul 2014 #32

So you want me to link to individual Duers posts and call them out? Kurska Jul 2014 #34

Isn't this entire thread supposed to be such a call-out? Scootaloo Jul 2014 #40

The author says the character wants it and it was consensual and you're saying it is rape. Kurska Jul 2014 #42

I'm saying the author is completely full of shit, yes Scootaloo Jul 2014 #49

Honestly, this has to be a joke. Kurska Jul 2014 #51

Look at it this way. Scootaloo Jul 2014 #67

I'm sorry, but when a debate about a fictious possible, maybe or maybe not rape turns to starwars Kurska Jul 2014 #72

Enjoy the cake, Kurska. Scootaloo Jul 2014 #74

I had no desire to read the book ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #97

Apparently... Erich Bloodaxe BSN Jul 2014 #101

A few times, Ana makes herself sexually available out of fear of getting hit Scootaloo Jul 2014 #105

Don't ignore me. bravenak Jul 2014 #50

I'd never dream of it. Kurska Jul 2014 #52

Awesome!!!nt bravenak Jul 2014 #57

Seriously though, if there is a bad thing it can be linked to twilight. Kurska Jul 2014 #60

I think that's why it's so bad. Twilight. bravenak Jul 2014 #65

"Yoda or Yeti" Why or? Kurska Jul 2014 #66

Damn you are brilliant! bravenak Jul 2014 #69

You know a BDSM book is good, when reading it is torture. Kurska Jul 2014 #75

Starting it tonight!! bravenak Jul 2014 #95

Almost certain I've seen that one Scootaloo Jul 2014 #76

That is a face only a mother could write erotica about Kurska Jul 2014 #82

Aaaaaand we're done Scootaloo Jul 2014 #87

The lady who writes Bigfoot Porn pulls down like 50K a month on Amazon. Warren DeMontague Jul 2014 #93

This message was self-deleted by its author AgingAmerican Jul 2014 #107

Well said. LittleBlue Jul 2014 #6

While I haven't read that piece of garbage book BainsBane Jul 2014 #9

You're saying a book you haven't read has rape in it. Kurska Jul 2014 #11

Neither of us have read it BainsBane Jul 2014 #13

The onus is on me to prove the book doesn't have rape in it? Kurska Jul 2014 #15

Let's review BainsBane Jul 2014 #24

"women in particular, by shaming them for their sexuality in calling them prudes." WHAT Kurska Jul 2014 #26

Most of those voicing concerns about the film are feminists BainsBane Jul 2014 #38

"Calling someone a prude is shaming them for their sexuality." Since when? Kurska Jul 2014 #44

Accordng to the synopsis of the book BainsBane Jul 2014 #77

You don't have to read the whole book to learn that it includes rape. pnwmom Jul 2014 #85

If the rape is depicted as wrong and NOT the way BDSM is supposed to work... moriah Jul 2014 #16

These are not people. It's a book and a movie BainsBane Jul 2014 #31

Judge rape all you want, but you can't deny.... moriah Jul 2014 #33

What generalization is that? BainsBane Jul 2014 #39

I never said that, I discussed yours and others making casual sweeping statements about BDSM. moriah Jul 2014 #43

Okay BainsBane Jul 2014 #56

The (dominant) guy I'm seeing is going to school, himself. moriah Jul 2014 #61

This synopsis of the book says it bears little relation to real life BDSM BainsBane Jul 2014 #78

Both my mother and my fiance have read the books... Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #23

I read it. bravenak Jul 2014 #46

You're not the only one Bravenak Scootaloo Jul 2014 #53

"anthropomorphized egret" the furries would love it. Kurska Jul 2014 #58

It's all about targeting a market. n/t Scootaloo Jul 2014 #73

"anthropomorphized egret" bravenak Jul 2014 #62

Have you ever seen Nostalgia Chick's "Fifty Shades of Green" series? Scootaloo Jul 2014 #70

Will do it tonight.nt bravenak Jul 2014 #71

Maybe you can handle all the Mary Sues, I can't. moriah Jul 2014 #55

Anna Was Worse! bravenak Jul 2014 #59

... if all of this debate forces me to find a pirated copy online to read.... moriah Jul 2014 #64

Bigger box the better. bravenak Jul 2014 #68

Thanks. That's helpful BainsBane Jul 2014 #79

No problemo.nt bravenak Jul 2014 #81

50 Shades doesn't indicate "Safe Play" BDSM. joshcryer Jul 2014 #10

I find it disingenuous chervilant Jul 2014 #17

"media depictions of rape" Kurska Jul 2014 #19

Really, Kurska?!? chervilant Jul 2014 #21

But.. Kurska Jul 2014 #30

There is no rape in 50 Shades. Dr Hobbitstein Jul 2014 #25

There is. bravenak Jul 2014 #48

+1000 smirkymonkey Jul 2014 #102

A few people at the margin will always critisize lifestyle choices like BDSM. pa28 Jul 2014 #20

And 50 Shades of Gray is about rape and abuse. The author hasn't a clue about BDSM. Her "hero" is an Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #27

Can you tell me where the rape in 50 shades of grey is? Kurska Jul 2014 #29

the coercion a rich man can do DonCoquixote Jul 2014 #54

It as been pointed out several times but here is more... Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #109

Not sure what has been posted here lately about BDSM darkangel218 Jul 2014 #35

Absolutely true, but not at all what is depicted in 50 shades of Grey. TDale313 Jul 2014 #94

Okay. bravenak Jul 2014 #36

Sorry....but that is not a rape scene. I suggest you read the whole scene, rather msanthrope Jul 2014 #99

She does break up with him at the end. bravenak Jul 2014 #100

I agree: as long as everyone is a mentally competent adult not under the infuence of drugs o alcohol bluestateguy Jul 2014 #37

Absolutely! Unfortunately, "50 Shades" is not about consensual BDSM. TygrBright Jul 2014 #45

Thank you. Very well put. n/t TDale313 Jul 2014 #80

Yes, one would think ... NanceGreggs Jul 2014 #47

But some people would rather not engage in this activity ... Kablooie Jul 2014 #63

Preach on ClarkeVII Jul 2014 #83

The book depicts NON-CONSENSUAL RAPE BainsBane Jul 2014 #84

I know this is hard for some to believe ClarkeVII Jul 2014 #86

What is this OP about? BainsBane Jul 2014 #88

Some people "consensually" role play that fantasy. ClarkeVII Jul 2014 #90

Some people travel to the Moon BainsBane Jul 2014 #96

What the hell? AgingAmerican Jul 2014 #89

It's usually the prudish people that are into it... philip.chinery Jul 2014 #91

I've known some hard core couples that are really into it.... Spitfire of ATJ Jul 2014 #92

The discussion here keeps conflating BDSM in general with a bad piece of "literature." Gidney N Cloyd Jul 2014 #98

Do you have to be prudish to be against that stuff? treestar Jul 2014 #103

Wow Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #106

I don't like pain treestar Jul 2014 #108

Yeah, I mentioned that to a couple of people too. NaturalHigh Jul 2014 #110

Yep. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #111