General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: [50 Shades] What two consenting adults do in their bedroom is NEVER your business. [View all]Zorra
(27,670 posts)"neurotic".
B) She tied the behavior to religious people and Judeo-Christian ethics based American culture altering the development of her sex behavior needs; I believed and trusted what she told me, and moved on with that information to do the best I could to love and support her.
C) To the best of my knowledge, I'm not capable of "curing" anyone's fixed sex behavior preferences, I don't assume I can, or should, and don't feel it's my place to try to do so unless someone maybe asks for my help in some way. She simply liked vanilla bondage sometimes; I don't have a problem with that; if she needed me to cause her pain, that would have been a game changer for me. It's not like she had some fatal relationship killing flaw, like being a Republican, or something else as seriously debilitating as that. People are individuals, we are who we are, and if we find someone with certain qualities that we are attracted to and we commit to a relationship with them, we pretty much have to accept some things about the other person that may not fit our perfect ideal of a partner or the relationship was over before it began.
D) Relationships require agreement and compromise. We determine what we can, and cannot live with. It's not my place to try to change the person I choose to be with. I can't make anyone happy. My place in a committed relationship, in my worldview, is to love, cherish, and support the person I choose to be with, to the very best of my ability. When I agree to be in a committed relationship with someone, I accept the whole person, and take it from there, doing the best I can to help me, my partner, and the relationship itself, continually evolve into something more beautiful.