I get HIPAA, but sometimes it sucks. My Grandfather died this morning.

[susanr516]

68. I understand your pain and frustration

My husband is going through a lot of this with his parents right now. His mom is starting to have problems with dementia, but his dad is still sharp as a tack--and stubborn as a mule. Right now, they're both in assisted living, but his mom really needs a 24-7 caretaker watching her and we cannot get his dad to understand that. Currently, his dad allows my husband to go along on all dr visits, but his dad has final say on what help they get. His mom is legally blind, has lots of balance problems, and forgets that she requires using a wheelchair only and assistance getting into and out of it. She's fallen several times because they didn't want to "bother" anyone by asking for help, and it's just a matter of time before she suffers a serious injury. We finally got them to get a caretaker in during the weekdays, but (I think) his dad is afraid that a caretaker will say his mom needs to be in a skilled nursing facility, so he's resisting.

His dad refuses to let anyone else have medical POA, so we're just living in fear that his mom is going to suffer a fall that will kill her. Just yesterday, my husband was over there and his mom was insisting upon using a walker--and his dad was letting her do it, said, "She said she was ok with a walker." My husband made her get back in the wheelchair, but what else can you do?