"Why Great Husbands Are Being Abandoned"

[haele]

37. Define "Great Husband". Is that what someone else thinks he is?

Look, he's a Great Husband (tm). He loves kids, buys you all sorts of gifts on a whim, has a college degree and a good job. He's active. He's clean, well-groomed, and speaks well. He drinks in moderation, doesn't smoke, and he grills every Saturday so you don't have to cook and goes to church with you on Sunday without complaint. And he just adores you, puts you up on a pedestal...
And all he wants you to do is know the script and play your part in the relationship. After all, he's a great guy - you gotta love him, right?

The image of the Great Husband is just that, an image. Same with the Great Wife. Neither are real people, with their own desires, motivations, beliefs, personal boundaries... And too many young people can't seem to think of their potential partner much past the image they like when they're considering what they want; they think that the personality "quirks" or weaknesses they don't like don't matter much in the beginning - or worse, they think the other person will somehow "change" because that's what they want that person to do to make it a perfect relationship.
Of course, the person imagining that Great Husband or Wive doesn't have to change themselves to make a relationship work...

And certainly, they don't have to listen to the older people who tell them to think about it a bit, or "you know you can't change him/her - you have to hope that the good habits you like in that person is more important to him/her than the bad habits you don't like."


Haele