9-Year-Old's Uzi Tragedy Reveals Wild World Of Gun Tourism

[Aristus]

29. I'll give those fuckheads a real 'Desert Storm' experience.

First, they can eat MRE's at every meal for a month, with the attendant constipation.

Pursuant to that, they can use a shovel and a pickax to carve out a squat-latrine from the exceptionally hard subsurface desert rock lying a few inches below the sand. Have fun with that. And with the straining to be able to take a dump at all. (See constipation above.)

Speaking of sand, I'll make sure they get it everywhere on their bodies, in their clothes, their eyes, their crotches, and every precision part of whatever vehicle they drove to get there. Not to mention in, over and on those precious guns they love so much, but have a hard time cleaning properly without someone ending up dead. They'll have to clean their weapons constantly and with as little oil as possible, to avoid attracting the corrosive sand.

I'll ensure they swelter during the day, and freeze at night.

Oh, and for extra fun, I'll drop a Scud missile on them. You know, to keep them on their toes. The thing about their precious firearms: they can't defend against a Scud missile attack.

Limp-dick wanna-bees...