General Discussion

MADem

(135,425 posts)

67. Without knowing what you wrote, it's impossible to side with or against you.

Sat Aug 30, 2014, 01:03 PM

Aug 2014

You could have a point, or you could be making unreasonable demands.

For example, I tend to use the network television standard in my daily life when it comes to language. Here on DU, though, words that would pass muster on network TV, even coming out of the mouths of women, would be jumped on by a subset of people of the female persuasion some of whom in my view are looking to be offended. I don't understand why they refuse to use context, and are silent on the whole "mixed signals" issue when presented with websites like this feminist one.

I think this place is not a "hotbed of sexism." There may be a few jerks, and quite likely, they're trolling people like you because they know you'll reliably take that bait, and you will provide them with a bit of childish glee, but it's not a rank-and-file issue.

MOST people here are good and decent, I've found. The few that aren't, if you can't see them coming a mile away you aren't looking very hard.

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An internet truth regarding sexist/misogynist comments [View all] boston bean Aug 2014 OP

Absolutely. Speaking up is essential. MineralMan Aug 2014 #1

Yes! yuiyoshida Aug 2014 #242

Re: last paragraph, men should speak up too geek tragedy Aug 2014 #2

That would be nice and welcome, of course. boston bean Aug 2014 #3

DU Rec. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #4

In my experience... Wounded Bear Aug 2014 #5

^^^This^^^n/t Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #6

Yeah, and it applies across the board... Wounded Bear Aug 2014 #7

+1 2naSalit Aug 2014 #27

Yep ... that and "censorship" etherealtruth Aug 2014 #8

This is where the argument fails for our free speech crowd, I can say anything boston bean Aug 2014 #9

How many times has constitutional free speech been explained here? Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #10

I cringe when I see allies stating they are putting someone on ignore. boston bean Aug 2014 #14

I don't think that is the case. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #50

IDK about juries. n/t Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #61

I'm almost positive that if you put someone on ignore you don't serve on a jury for them. nt boston bean Aug 2014 #63

According to the posted description of the community moderating system, petronius Aug 2014 #99

Thank you petronius. This is one reason I don't put people on ignore. boston bean Aug 2014 #100

I didn't know that gaspee Aug 2014 #123

many people have the same ignore list, and skinner and others promote an ignore list. pool seabeyond Aug 2014 #126

OTOH: OilemFirchen Aug 2014 #144

No, that is not the case. Ignoring persons make it so you can't serve on a jury for them. boston bean Aug 2014 #155

You mean "can't" in your subject, correct? OilemFirchen Aug 2014 #164

yes, but putting them on ignore doesn't prevent them from serving on a jury on a post of yours. boston bean Aug 2014 #165

That was my point. OilemFirchen Aug 2014 #166

right. I was confused as admitted above and made a confusing situation even more confusing.. boston bean Aug 2014 #167

We kewl. (n/t) OilemFirchen Aug 2014 #168

Why is that confusing? Egnever Aug 2014 #16

There are no first amendment rights on a privately held website. boston bean Aug 2014 #21

I'm not confused... Wounded Bear Aug 2014 #241

that one is what puts me in a fit of giggles i see so often. in discussing a womans issue, i am seabeyond Aug 2014 #17

agreed nt steve2470 Aug 2014 #151

Kick! tea and oranges Aug 2014 #11

Oppressed groups are always advised not to be confrontational. malthaussen Aug 2014 #12

+10000 etherealtruth Aug 2014 #13

There has been progress in that they are on the defensive treestar Aug 2014 #15

+1. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #18

As a woman I am for free speech. alphafemale Aug 2014 #19

It is hate not speech. boston bean Aug 2014 #20

I don't give a rats ass what they say. alphafemale Aug 2014 #22

I deal with it every day and work to make it better, you? boston bean Aug 2014 #23

You are right ...I have been guilty of "just ignoring" ... etherealtruth Aug 2014 #24

baiting, alerting, comment stalking are all issues boston bean Aug 2014 #25

I have always viewed this as a real issue etherealtruth Aug 2014 #28

I never thought you were! :) boston bean Aug 2014 #30

That happens a lot on DU justiceischeap Aug 2014 #132

i do not give a fuck about hostility. i do not recognize intimidation. seabeyond Aug 2014 #40

I deal with it myself. I am strong enough to do that on my own. alphafemale Aug 2014 #26

Yeah, I'm a pretty strong person. boston bean Aug 2014 #29

Of course it does. And you have several feet of them. alphafemale Aug 2014 #31

Were you offering some help in getting private websites boston bean Aug 2014 #32

If you want someone else to handle misogyny for you? alphafemale Aug 2014 #64

Speaking about it means I am not handling it. boston bean Aug 2014 #66

You are being incredibly rude and obtuse. JTFrog Aug 2014 #38

You need someone to protect you alphafemale Aug 2014 #51

Why did we fight for the ERA? JTFrog Aug 2014 #55

and i love alpha. i do. i know this is coning from a different place also. seabeyond Aug 2014 #58

I am mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. JTFrog Aug 2014 #69

i am not walking either. the bigger point? i do not accept redq's walk either. or bigtree. seabeyond Aug 2014 #73

No. I am just disagreeing that I need special protection. alphafemale Aug 2014 #59

It is not censorship on a private message board boston bean Aug 2014 #68

It's not your message board. alphafemale Aug 2014 #77

They are not ideas, they are HATE and BIGOTRY. boston bean Aug 2014 #87

I live for hostility. alphafemale Aug 2014 #92

Really, I live for peace and tranquility. boston bean Aug 2014 #94

Peace and Tranquility? alphafemale Aug 2014 #102

If there is a changeto be made, boston bean Aug 2014 #107

Ridiculous. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #98

It is certainly about ideas alphafemale Aug 2014 #106

Did anyone call you a misogynist because of that thread? Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #110

Many times people take personally an opinion of another. boston bean Aug 2014 #111

AGAIN if you feel offended DEAL WITH IT. alphafemale Aug 2014 #112

AGAIN it's not about you or me. It's about all of us. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #116

You might think this poster is against Hate Laws. boston bean Aug 2014 #120

Hate laws protect the weak AND the strong. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #125

I also wonder what the person thinks of the civil rights act. boston bean Aug 2014 #127

Me too. DURHAM D Aug 2014 #137

Excuse me, I'd like to interrupt for just a second to say, as a cowardly weakling, betsuni Aug 2014 #202

Salt the nails liberally. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #211

To be constitutionally permissible hifiguy Aug 2014 #138

right... we are talking about hateful bigoted speech on the privately owned internet sites. boston bean Aug 2014 #140

If you read ALL of the post hifiguy Aug 2014 #141

Sorry that Jebus wept. Didn't mean to make him/her. boston bean Aug 2014 #143

By ignoring one of my central points hifiguy Aug 2014 #145

Was there something I wrote that you disagree with. boston bean Aug 2014 #146

My fault. Seriously. hifiguy Aug 2014 #148

no worries. thanks. nt boston bean Aug 2014 #169

I figured it out ... Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #231

I agree with everything you're saying. It's a discussion board, so discuss! MADem Aug 2014 #194

you live for hostility also? you do not believe we should stand up for our weak? now, you say seabeyond Aug 2014 #232

Discuss! Unless you want to disagree with misogynists, then shut up! kcr Aug 2014 #269

Look, I'm not sure why you're giving me so much grief, but you're welcome to your opinion as well. MADem Aug 2014 #270

I'm not the one telling anyone to shut up n/t kcr Aug 2014 #271

Nor am I. I'm telling people to discuss issues. MADem Aug 2014 #275

You stated that you agreed with someone who was kcr Sep 2014 #284

Someone who was ... WHAT? MADem Sep 2014 #285

Okay. This isn't all that hard to follow. kcr Sep 2014 #286

Look, I don't see how I can make this much simpler for you--I even CUT AND PASTED the entire MADem Sep 2014 #287

Yes. You very thoughtfully cut and pasted the "shut up" kcr Sep 2014 #288

There's no "shut up" in what I cut and pasted. Why would you say that there was? MADem Sep 2014 #290

I explained how there was kcr Sep 2014 #291

It's not yours either kcr Aug 2014 #268

speaking out is having someone protect you? some of us see it the opposite. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #56

I do not need anyone to protect me. alphafemale Aug 2014 #95

me either. for a lifetime. why? many reasons. utmost... how damn privileged i am. seabeyond Aug 2014 #97

And you have no obligation to help anyone else. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #103

Thank goodness that isn't a progressive value at all. KitSileya Aug 2014 #142

^^^^THIS^^^^ Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #163

Why have standards in any community? Scootaloo Aug 2014 #209

Superb LittleBlue Aug 2014 #83

Your username gives it away LittleBlue Aug 2014 #41

lol My user name was originally chosen as meaning "Mom" alphafemale Aug 2014 #43

Your characterization of this as a whine, is offensive to me. boston bean Aug 2014 #49

Offensive isn't the half of it gaspee Aug 2014 #128

she said she Lives For Hostility ... Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #225

this is what gets me. a couple men applauding and saying they agree with EVERYTHING being said, is seabeyond Aug 2014 #233

I read in a book once = seek and ye shall find. or in other words Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #235

Loved your posts in this thread. hifiguy Aug 2014 #139

I know, I am making it worser!!!!!!!!! LOL boston bean Aug 2014 #46

you girl, you. fug. i need to breath out, here. you were so dissed. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #48

The problem is real LittleBlue Aug 2014 #60

I disagree, the problem has a solution. Make misogynists and sexists unwelcome boston bean Aug 2014 #62

Have you noticed the flood of low postcount guys lately? LittleBlue Aug 2014 #71

They have tools, and if they have the will it can be better. boston bean Aug 2014 #76

If pixels on a screen stop you from participating? alphafemale Aug 2014 #131

It is HATE and Bigotry, not just pixels on a screen. boston bean Aug 2014 #134

ya? and what am i? beta? the rest of the women in her... beta? in man talk, seabeyond Aug 2014 #47

I will have you know I am the ALPHA and the OMEGA. I rule my land. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #227

you girl... lol. too funny. lots of funny today. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #228

I can not stop laughing over here. Crying tears LAUGHING. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #230

You missed the "Sarcasm" tag intaglio Aug 2014 #113

Anita Sarkeesian is about as alpha as you can get intaglio Aug 2014 #104

By offering ways to combat and discussing the issue boston bean Aug 2014 #109

Would you feel the same about racists, homophobes, and other haters? catrose Aug 2014 #149

I understand your point steve2470 Aug 2014 #153

On the internet no one knows you're a dog. n/t fleabiscuit Aug 2014 #247

Great post, boston bean! Free speech means A has the right to be bigoted, and B has the right to DesertDiamond Aug 2014 #33

then get a hide or you are incorrect. get five hides. get kicked off the board. be silenced. seabeyond Aug 2014 #44

A is an idiot if A thinks that the First Amendment protects speech without limits. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #108

There are ways to demand "it be adressed in places you visit on the web" without MADem Aug 2014 #34

I've written Skinner at least 20 times XemaSab Aug 2014 #35

Without knowing what you wrote, it's impossible to side with or against you. MADem Aug 2014 #67

I've asked Skinner several times too. The answer, when he deigns to give one, is a resounding no. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #114

He's deigned to give you one? XemaSab Aug 2014 #115

Gormy, boston bean Aug 2014 #117

Thanks. I'd forgotten that we don't even have that single word "sexism." Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #118

What's the difference between sexism and gender? Violet_Crumble Aug 2014 #216

What's the harm in having more words in the TOS? Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #244

Also, gender discrimination is different than discrimination based on sex. boston bean Aug 2014 #250

I'm not understanding what the difference between bigotry based on gender and sexism is, though... Violet_Crumble Sep 2014 #276

Neither do some other DUers. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #277

I'm kind of suspecting that there's no real difference, kind of like anti-semitism and Jew-hatred... Violet_Crumble Sep 2014 #296

The problem with a terse list is that it doesn't represent a teaching moment. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #298

Islamophobia, yes...then add intersex discrimination (because gender isn't enough), then add MADem Sep 2014 #294

OMG. If you think the DU2 rules were convoluted, try adding the I/P forum guidelines on top of that! Violet_Crumble Sep 2014 #297

I have to agree with him, and I don't think I'm alone. MADem Aug 2014 #190

Evidence suggests otherwise. n/t Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #192

I think Skinner is trying to avoid opening Pandora's box. jeff47 Aug 2014 #214

It's not special protection. It's strengthening the existing TOS language n/t Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #246

You can write anything you'd like in the TOS language jeff47 Aug 2014 #257

It's been done, here and it falls on deaf ears. boston bean Aug 2014 #37

No, it doesn't fall on deaf ears, and if you think that, you need to visit the archives. MADem Aug 2014 #53

Please do not tell me my experiences are not my experiences. boston bean Aug 2014 #57

And please don't tell ME that MY experiences are not valid. See how that works? MADem Aug 2014 #72

I didn't tell you yours was not valid. However you did tell me mine were. boston bean Aug 2014 #81

Look at the words you're using to "converse" with me. MADem Aug 2014 #196

omg i used words and you think it's me that cant deal boston bean Aug 2014 #239

Now you're using snark. I never said you "can't deal." You're inventing that. MADem Aug 2014 #249

go back and read the exchange and try your honest best attempt boston bean Aug 2014 #251

I think you might want to work on that mote in your eye, too. nt MADem Aug 2014 #252

ok, as long as you do, which you implied you have. nt boston bean Aug 2014 #256

Oh Bullshit. JTFrog Aug 2014 #39

WHAT? This is the exact opposite of "not making waves." I guess you didn't quite grasp the point MADem Aug 2014 #45

We need to be able to speak to one another about these issues. boston bean Aug 2014 #54

WITH is good. AT, not so much. nt MADem Aug 2014 #74

Are you accusing me of speaking at people? boston bean Aug 2014 #78

so well said. thank you. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #84

I am not "accusing" (loaded word, there) you of anything of the sort. MADem Aug 2014 #85

I never said you "couldn't possibly understand". boston bean Aug 2014 #90

I suppose where you stand depends on where you sit. MADem Aug 2014 #193

excuse me, you were confrontational. boston bean Aug 2014 #237

Perfect example--you're accusing me of sexism with that post. That's uncivil, AND confrontational. MADem Aug 2014 #253

We have done what you ask repeatedly with NO acknowledgement. JTFrog Aug 2014 #65

What are you asking for? Do you want to censor unpopular words and thoughts? MADem Aug 2014 #80

I want Misogyny specifically added to the TOS. JTFrog Aug 2014 #82

Well, then, we'll have to add misandry, too, if we're going to be fair. MADem Aug 2014 #86

There is a much higher chance of adding misandry than misogyny. JTFrog Aug 2014 #88

Wow. That was terribly rude! And I didn't present a strawman, bat or otherwise! MADem Aug 2014 #177

Jury Decision... MrMickeysMom Aug 2014 #220

Well, I didn't alert on the post, I just told the poster how I felt. MADem Aug 2014 #223

Yes, that was cute... MrMickeysMom Aug 2014 #224

Yea, but Juror #7 was spot on. n/t JTFrog Aug 2014 #240

No, I don't think that's true. MADem Aug 2014 #248

you want to claim we sit on a balanced scale. so, to keep the balance, include msandry. the scales seabeyond Aug 2014 #101

We sit on a Democratic website that advocates a balanced scale in the party platform, so MADem Aug 2014 #191

um. how many male congress people? how many women? how many men in cabinet? how many women? seabeyond Aug 2014 #195

If you want to talk about the demographics of Congress, you can start a thread and send me a link. MADem Aug 2014 #197

you are the one to bring up hte fact it is democratic, women are covered and the scales balanced. seabeyond Aug 2014 #198

Wow, what a collection of false accusations. MADem Aug 2014 #204

i didnt see this post. you say, the democratic platform balances the scale for women. seabeyond Aug 2014 #207

I'm done speaking with you. I'm not going to put up with your rudeness and your false MADem Aug 2014 #208

i am not being rude. i disagree with you. you are the one taking to personal and insults. seabeyond Aug 2014 #212

you throw out a guess more women on jury than men with no facts to back you up. seabeyond Aug 2014 #199

If you have facts to the contrary, present them. nt MADem Aug 2014 #201

that just is not how it works. you do not get to make something up and say, prove otherwise. seabeyond Aug 2014 #203

Neither do you. That didn't stop you from the accusation you made that I cut/pasted upthread. nt MADem Aug 2014 #205

"Neither do you" dude, i didnt make anything up. you made something up. seabeyond Aug 2014 #206

No, that is not an equal situation. That would be like adding "whites rights" or something. cui bono Sep 2014 #279

No, it would be like saying "It's ok to make fun of those caucasians." MADem Sep 2014 #282

But isn't racism and homophobia singled out in the TOS? cui bono Sep 2014 #283

Yes, they are, and discrimination based on sex is covered under GENDER. MADem Sep 2014 #289

Not sure why you are getting so angry and combative over this. cui bono Sep 2014 #292

Golly gee, I don't understand why you're characterizing me inaccurately!!! MADem Sep 2014 #293

Define it. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #130

Should we also replace all instance of "black" with "white" in regards to racism and add that? JTFrog Aug 2014 #133

A couple of comments. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2014 #159

Look--I can't stand all that back-and-forth gun bullshit. It sets my teeth on edge. MADem Aug 2014 #184

You seem to not like the word 'presentable'. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2014 #189

This site is not "overrun" with that kind of stuff, though. MADem Aug 2014 #200

You and I don't agree often, but .... polly7 Aug 2014 #170

do you see any woman here.... shaking in her boots? seabeyond Aug 2014 #171

I don't 'see' anyone. Why, are you shaking in your boots? nt. polly7 Aug 2014 #172

just accuse and imply, refuse to answer. well. i will answer. not a woman is "afraid", or whatever seabeyond Aug 2014 #173

I said what I meant. Don't like it, don't read it. polly7 Aug 2014 #174

"Don't like it, don't read it." other option. refute it. as i did seabeyond Aug 2014 #175

You refuted it??? lmfao! polly7 Aug 2014 #176

"do not make this a scary, horrible place to post." sounds like you are suggesting women think this seabeyond Aug 2014 #178

Still putting words in my mouth? polly7 Aug 2014 #179

no. i copied and pasted your words. scary place. seabeyond Aug 2014 #180

Good for you. It's too bad you don't understand that that applies to everyone, polly7 Aug 2014 #181

now. i am clueless what you are saying or implying. polly. enjoy your new house. seabeyond Aug 2014 #182

Wow. Did you do a search of my posts? polly7 Aug 2014 #183

i do not know that there is a single person i hate. you started a thread and was on latest. seabeyond Aug 2014 #185

lmao. nt. polly7 Aug 2014 #186

Apparently, hate doesn't include making someone very ill over spreading around personal info polly7 Aug 2014 #258

Jury results: The Straight Story Aug 2014 #272

Thanks, the funny thing is, she just demanded the apology for 'making her do those things' polly7 Aug 2014 #274

I don't take things personally! I like to argue issues and ideas, and, as I've said MADem Aug 2014 #187

You are right MADem, as long as it's done honestly and in good faith. nt. polly7 Aug 2014 #188

+1!! nt MADem Aug 2014 #210

and there were no issues and ideas expressed in the OP? nt boston bean Aug 2014 #238

I responded to your issues and ideas in post 34. MADem Aug 2014 #254

I don't think so. I think you were told by me that ignoring boston bean Aug 2014 #255

Post 34 was my first post in the thread, responding to your OP. MADem Aug 2014 #261

I think it all started after my very nice reply and you told me I was talking AT people. boston bean Aug 2014 #262

Good post, MADem. Would rec this if there was a rec button. AverageJoe90 Aug 2014 #213

You can even block jerks from following you on twitter now, which is a good thing. MADem Aug 2014 #218

this is downright laughable = Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #229

K&R. There's plenty of speech that is not allowed at DU already... YoungDemCA Aug 2014 #36

Yep, apparently misogyny is in a class of protected hate speech around here. JTFrog Aug 2014 #42

boy howdy. mopinko Aug 2014 #70

it is right there with saying.... fox, let men be men. thank you. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #52

keep speaking. mopinko Aug 2014 #75

Conversations like this go nowhere because no one ever defines anything. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #79

"Does not pass a giggle test". JTFrog Aug 2014 #91

Yes... like that! lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #119

Expect me to do it more. JTFrog Aug 2014 #121

Everyone needs a hobby. Apparently I'm yours. lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #124

Look dude, it's like this.... JTFrog Aug 2014 #129

It would be difficult to get Democrats elected ... Laelth Aug 2014 #135

And here comes another one. JTFrog Aug 2014 #136

From posts in another thread, a few people make it sound like Iron Man Aug 2014 #96

was that dismissive. all are mra, all are sexist? is that really what someone said? really? seabeyond Aug 2014 #105

You seem overly concerned about the calling out of MRA talking points. JTFrog Aug 2014 #122

Well written and completely true mcar Aug 2014 #89

!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!! BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2014 #93

The issue is any opinion that a feminist here doesn't like is automatically considered misogynistic davidn3600 Aug 2014 #147

Nicely put. RiffRandell Aug 2014 #157

I think I can see your point. And I agree. AverageJoe90 Aug 2014 #273

Aren't 99.9999% of DU'ers against misogyny ? steve2470 Aug 2014 #150

No the amount of insults to feminist and feminism on this board boston bean Aug 2014 #152

maybe it's 90% of DU'ers ? steve2470 Aug 2014 #154

read through discussions and determine. boston bean Aug 2014 #156

one last sincere question steve2470 Aug 2014 #158

read this OP and I think you will be satisfied boston bean Aug 2014 #160

ok thanks ! nt steve2470 Aug 2014 #161

This may help. Laelth Aug 2014 #162

thanks ! nt steve2470 Aug 2014 #222

Yes, misogyny here: CreekDog Sep 2014 #278

thanks for that ! nt steve2470 Sep 2014 #295

Most are, yes. AverageJoe90 Aug 2014 #215

FOR SHIT'S SAKE Aerows Aug 2014 #217

I hope I can't get a reply hidden for agreeing with you. NYC_SKP Aug 2014 #219

Indeed Aerows Aug 2014 #221

Aerows ... Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #234

Hide the thread if you have nothing constructive to add. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #245

I'm part of the DU community, that is why Aerows Aug 2014 #260

Your post was a call out of everyone else on the thread. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #263

Calling for sanity Aerows Aug 2014 #265

Now you're calling the other posters insane. Gormy Cuss Aug 2014 #266

LOL Aerows Aug 2014 #267

In real life, law enforcement does not take sexual assault seriously. Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2014 #226

Unfortunately the internet is not really the real world WestCoastLib Aug 2014 #236

wrong. people stay quiet, it feeds and grows. that is absolutely the incorrect choice, imo. nt seabeyond Aug 2014 #243

People stay quiet because they are taught Aerows Sep 2014 #280

Yeah, I hang out in some less civilized parts of the internet, cemaphonic Aug 2014 #264

Kick, kick, kick! Heidi Aug 2014 #259

From the good people at Cracked (language warning)... SidDithers Sep 2014 #281