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LibertyLover

(4,788 posts)

151. A similar thing occurred to my husband several years ago in a Sam's Club parking lot

Wed Sep 3, 2014, 03:11 PM

Sep 2014

Our daughter is adopted from China. At the time of the incident she was 3 or 4. We had gone to Sam's to get dog food and a few other things that even for a small family are useful in bulk. The kidlet loved shopping but didn't like waiting in lines, so the minute we got into the check-out line she began to act up. I suggested to my husband that he take her to the car and I'd handle paying. He agreed and took her hand and out they walked. A few minutes later I got to the car to find him still obviously furious. I figured it was because our daughter had done something - his back was hurting and when he's in pain he has no patience for anything. It turned out however that no, it was that some idiot had confronted him as he walked her to the car. Apparently she was still acting up a bit and the confronter determined that my husband was trying to abduct her. My husband told him to mind his own business, got to the Jeep, opened the back and the kid climbed in, happy to be back with her toys. She immediately stopped crying, started playing and crawling all over her daddy. But the confronter was still not convinced and told my husband he was going to call the police. My husband told him to go right ahead because he had a copy of her birth certificate in his wallet and would be delighted to show it to the cops. That ended the situation, but my husband was still furious when I got to the car. And yes, I carry a copy of my marriage license, because I did not take my husband's last name, and my daughter's birth certificate, because I don't look anything like her. It's just in case.

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I was taking pictures of my daughters. A stranger thought I was exploiting them. [View all] Generic Other Aug 2014 OP

HS is invested in making the ugliest assumptions about all of us based on profiling suffragette Aug 2014 #1

I find that white people who find themselves profiled in this way Generic Other Aug 2014 #4

The scary thing is that most people think that other people are like themselves. LiberalArkie Aug 2014 #97

You do frequently see that kind of projection. One of the biggest weasles I know always thinks he's brewens Sep 2014 #129

OK, I'm torn, here. MADem Aug 2014 #2

Fuck that Generic Other Aug 2014 #6

Go back and re-read--I edited a bit. Do we know the HS guy was white? MADem Aug 2014 #9

I don't even know what to say to this Generic Other Aug 2014 #12

I don't understand why you are more "offended" than the guy who wrote the article. MADem Aug 2014 #17

I have been profiled many more times than I care to list Generic Other Aug 2014 #25

Offended, enraged, outraged! etherealtruth Aug 2014 #47

So have I. Your experience, and mine, are not germane to this story, though. MADem Aug 2014 #60

It's a story of a man photographing his daughters. Demit Aug 2014 #82

She wasn't there. Neither was I. Neither were you. MADem Sep 2014 #114

But you don't see how assuming a guy's adopted daughters might be sex slaves nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #132

The HS guy was assuming that the WHITE guy might be a human trafficker. MADem Sep 2014 #137

Regardless of what color the HS guy was, it's still a case of being profiled (or stereotyped). nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #140

Profiling does happen in criminal investigations, and even when a LEO sees something a bit odd. MADem Sep 2014 #142

Of course you have a right to be offended by the offensive behavior and the iemitsu Aug 2014 #86

Citizens are not allowed to use their cameras in the new police state Generic Other Aug 2014 #89

Move along, nothing to see or to photograph. iemitsu Aug 2014 #92

Indeed. I just can't believe people are that gullible. Has to be something more at work IMO. n/t nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #136

In things like this, people can be wrong treestar Aug 2014 #31

One of the "real" cases? Generic Other Aug 2014 #41

Some people here never 'get it' Rex Aug 2014 #48

So there never is any sex trafficking treestar Aug 2014 #66

Please post statistics for number of Asian girls Generic Other Aug 2014 #103

Well, he's a white fellow, and this kind of thing has never happened to HIM before. MADem Aug 2014 #65

There's a point where treestar Aug 2014 #67

Well, the crime that HS guy was ostensibly concerned about would have been committed by MADem Aug 2014 #79

Try being a male sitting next a woman on the train RandySF Aug 2014 #75

If there are no other seats left, you aren't a creep and no one thinks that. MADem Aug 2014 #78

Funny, I've never really gotten that vibe. Maybe I'm too busy minding my own business, I dunno. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #139

No, I'm pretty sure we have to err on the side of MYOFB. mattclearing Sep 2014 #110

No, we don't. MADem Sep 2014 #111

I read the article clearly. mattclearing Sep 2014 #112

You're believing the father's version of events. MADem Sep 2014 #113

That's really condescending. mattclearing Sep 2014 #116

It's not "condescending," unless you happen to have found the HS agent and interviewed him. MADem Sep 2014 #117

What a bunch of self-serving nonsense. mattclearing Sep 2014 #120

One more time--the guy asked ONE question, apologized (did you catch that? APOLOGIZED) MADem Sep 2014 #121

That's not even true. mattclearing Sep 2014 #122

OK, now I know you did NOT read the piece. MADem Sep 2014 #124

So pedantic. n/t mattclearing Sep 2014 #125

Pedantic, really? You might want to look up that word. MADem Sep 2014 #126

Really? Because I thought he, "hunted him down and started an argument" mattclearing Sep 2014 #127

I think the reason the wife wanted the guy to let it go is because she saw what he couldn't see. MADem Sep 2014 #135

Great post. mattclearing Sep 2014 #146

I think if the HS guy did get a sense that something was genuinely awry he could have MADem Sep 2014 #148

So if someone sees two men with kids The Straight Story Sep 2014 #118

He asked a question. He got an answer. He APOLOGIZED. He left. MADem Sep 2014 #119

I know you probably don't mean to defend racial profiling/stereotyping, but that's what this nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #131

Yes, this HS guy (of unknown race) was, indeed, profiling the father. MADem Sep 2014 #141

Why the HELL would he be doing it OUTDOORS in a PUBLIC PLACE rocktivity Aug 2014 #3

It happens ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #18

Oh, I think this should be an interesting thread.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #5

I am considering putting people on ignore Generic Other Aug 2014 #7

Yes, as I said upthread-there's a tension at play. Judgments can be well meaning and they can also MADem Aug 2014 #21

So why is it minorities who are always the ones being judged? Generic Other Aug 2014 #33

Those girls were NOT being judged. Their caucasian father was being profiled as a pervert and MADem Aug 2014 #42

Excuse me if my dad is being accused of being a pervert Generic Other Aug 2014 #55

Well, you can parse it that way if you'd like, but being categorized as a potential victim is not MADem Aug 2014 #58

Glad you know more about being Asian than Asians do Generic Other Aug 2014 #83

Now this conversation is getting unproductive, because you're "talking down" to me. MADem Aug 2014 #85

If my white father was profiled by cops because I look Asian Generic Other Aug 2014 #88

One. More. Time. MADem Aug 2014 #106

I don't think it's racial as much sa a bias against male parents. RandySF Aug 2014 #73

It takes a DUer dying to have a civil thread. Usually. Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #147

I would have politely told the guy to fuck off. trumad Aug 2014 #8

What is the penalty for throwing a HS guy overboard? Generic Other Aug 2014 #10

I question if the guy was HS. trumad Aug 2014 #32

Would you care if he targeted your daughter? Generic Other Aug 2014 #34

I think you read me wrong... trumad Aug 2014 #43

Yes Generic Other Aug 2014 #90

Does Scott Brown have another brother? MADem Aug 2014 #63

You would have, too n/t ReRe Aug 2014 #53

It is amazing how often things like this happen etherealtruth Aug 2014 #11

... the only answer you are going to get from me is "the most beautiful child in the world" 3catwoman3 Aug 2014 #15

Bi-racial families deal with this all the time Generic Other Aug 2014 #29

Without doubt ... my children are now grown ... etherealtruth Aug 2014 #44

Yes, too often laundry_queen Aug 2014 #54

Sadly, I think you start to get used to abject stupidity launched in your direction etherealtruth Aug 2014 #64

Racial Profiling: It's not just for black people any more. rocktivity Aug 2014 #13

Is it not exploitive to put photos of them online? oberliner Aug 2014 #14

To show how innocent the photos were. GoneOffShore Aug 2014 #16

Still doesn't seem like a good idea oberliner Aug 2014 #24

Alrighty then. GoneOffShore Aug 2014 #100

I think he should have taken a pic of the HS guy. With or without binoculars...! nt MADem Aug 2014 #20

Yes, agreed oberliner Aug 2014 #23

Only if they didn't want him to. Mariana Aug 2014 #40

They're minors. He makes the decision. nt MADem Sep 2014 #115

Tell'em to mind their own damn business meow2u3 Aug 2014 #19

I once read an article about a white man who was stopped by the police tblue37 Aug 2014 #22

It happens. And it happens that black men who have light bright children or white stepchildren take MADem Aug 2014 #28

I suspect that some PDs do psych profiles--specifically looking for the tblue37 Aug 2014 #38

happens to white males in uk with non white kids, they are profiled as child molesters Liberal_in_LA Aug 2014 #56

Mark my words, the DHS will make Hoover's FBI look like boy scouts in years to come. Rex Aug 2014 #26

Apparently white guys, black guys, asian guys, hispanic guys and native american guys are all... lumberjack_jeff Aug 2014 #27

Ah you see this as gender profiling Generic Other Aug 2014 #39

What the photographer looks like physically, beyond race, would also come into play ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #102

A shlubby, balding man with glasses and a few extra pounds Generic Other Aug 2014 #104

Exactly ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #107

He's a public figure--he is a graphic artist who does "Both Political Parties SUCK" photoshops MADem Sep 2014 #123

Well, you've kinda proven my point. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #130

Well, his appearance wasn't the only point of contention. MADem Sep 2014 #144

It's that privilege that leads to men doing those things treestar Aug 2014 #70

Getting stopped by concerned strangers while out with my biological father Kber Aug 2014 #30

What the hell? Generic Other Aug 2014 #35

I actually got my dad a tee shirt that read Kber Aug 2014 #61

This is amazing to me. cwydro Aug 2014 #74

It was an gender thing, not a racial thing Kber Aug 2014 #77

Let me ask you a serious question ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #105

High Cheek Bones fredamae Aug 2014 #36

You are an "unofficial" generic other Generic Other Aug 2014 #45

Ha! Yep--- fredamae Aug 2014 #50

i have empathy... blue sky at night Aug 2014 #37

So how come the purity ball fathers aren't questioned? Generic Other Aug 2014 #46

Those are scary photos. iemitsu Aug 2014 #87

Reminds me of the time JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #49

I would be remiss if I didn�t ask if you were okay.? Helen Borg Aug 2014 #51

You know, I can cope with all sorts of members of the human zoo Warpy Aug 2014 #52

Nowadays I think that men in generally get profiled if they are with young children or tblue37 Aug 2014 #57

IMO that's the paranoia that would have been at work here treestar Aug 2014 #69

I wish he had asked for a business card. A few of his questions might have been answered. Raine1967 Aug 2014 #59

Questioning Looks jorgebob28 Aug 2014 #62

LOL RandySF Aug 2014 #72

:) Your way of handling the situation reminds me of iemitsu Aug 2014 #91

Welcome Jorgebob to DU! Generic Other Aug 2014 #108

I have been stopped before walking my daughter home from daycare Generic Brad Aug 2014 #68

This would have upset me very much as a child Generic Other Aug 2014 #93

I had a similar incident once at the playground. RandySF Aug 2014 #71

Yes! Who seems to be the creep in that case? Generic Other Aug 2014 #98

Why would anyone make that leap to "questionable photos". Something is really messed up still_one Aug 2014 #76

Because all Asian women with white men are... Generic Other Aug 2014 #94

Actually if he identified himself as HS, you should get his name and report him. My wife is Chinese still_one Aug 2014 #99

West Coasters vs Jersey Shore Generic Other Aug 2014 #101

The white man who wrote the article didn't ask for the HS man's business card. MADem Sep 2014 #128

appreciate the perspective still_one Sep 2014 #134

On one hand, I see the point re: profiling, but cyberswede Aug 2014 #80

Makes me angry! frogmarch Aug 2014 #81

That's what I am talking about Generic Other Aug 2014 #95

If I happened to see the same, THAT would have been the LAST thing I would have thought,,,, benld74 Aug 2014 #84

That HS guy is a complete moron LittleBlue Aug 2014 #96

White male complaining about being profiled? ncjustice80 Sep 2014 #109

My father's reaction is not his reaction Generic Other Sep 2014 #133

should have given them Uzis. That would have been left alone Doctor_J Sep 2014 #138

I am a white father with a black daughter, and we have been on the Cape May ferry ... kwassa Sep 2014 #143

+1 to We should all watch out for each other. It's a good sentiment. nt MADem Sep 2014 #145

No. If the officer doesnt have proof of a crime he should ncjustice80 Sep 2014 #149

You have a nice day. nt MADem Sep 2014 #150

A similar thing occurred to my husband several years ago in a Sam's Club parking lot LibertyLover Sep 2014 #151