Why Texans Dress Like Cowboys

[LTX]

203. Well, hell. You had yourself a steak dinner in Texarkana.

And there you have it. You now know fer darn-sure that them there people in Texas is all the same, by golly.

Them Indian and Asian and African and Pacific Island and German and Brazilian and Argentine and Mexican and Puerto Rican and Australian doctor-people in Houston at the po-dunk Houston medical center, and those redneck dumb-asses at Rice University, and all them feriners in Houston and Austin and Del Rio and Beaumont and Port Arthur and Fort Worth and San Antonio and Fredericksberg and Rosenberg and McAllen and Corpus Whatever and Brownsville and College Station and Galveston and Port Lavaca and Matagorda (not to mention all them god-forsaken German and Swedish and Polish and Jewish and Italian and Greek immagrinters that founded they own towns and all them Messicans in them there border-towns) -- well, they just all pathologically dress like pretend cowboys and spit tabaccy to show they superiority, not once a-knowin' that in reality they is really showing they fundamental, bottom-rung, lack of "my progressive town" breeding and intelligence.

If they was ever exposed to some place truly enlightened and diverse like, say, Portland or Seattle or Minneapolis-St. Paul or Denver or Greenwich or Boulder or Mont Pillar Ver-mont or Amherst or Pittsburgh or Westchester or Grand Rapids or Providence or Worcester or Cincinnati or Akron or Albany or Syracuse, they would realize just how backward they truly was.

We just flat needs ya'. Please, please teach us your enlightened ways of getting away with flat-out segregationist racism while still sittin' on a high horse and preaching to the lesser folk.