General Discussion

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)

16. Thank you for your kind words.

Mon Sep 8, 2014, 01:25 PM

Sep 2014

I learned a lot about myself watching my sisters make "bad life choices" -- I even learned a lot when I made some "idiot choices" myself.

The toughest one was that I was NOT in control of the choices other people made for themselves. As a raving codependent (recovery ongoing), this was a tough one for me.

I also saw how easy it was for things to "go bad" when they weren't that way in the beginning.

There were a lot of trust issues for me, thanks to what I witnessed.

I am luckier than most.

Peace to you and yours.

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Dynamics of Domestic Abuse [View all] sufrommich Sep 2014 OP

Thanks for Posting! Sherman A1 Sep 2014 #1

I think so too. Thanks for commenting. nt sufrommich Sep 2014 #2

If this is an attempt to educate based on another thread... IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #3

It's very hard for victims who have been beaten and berated sufrommich Sep 2014 #4

She walked into the relationship with her own baggage. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #12

........ daleanime Sep 2014 #26

I wasn't there so I don't know the facts surrounding your sisters' situation but I can say this from justiceischeap Sep 2014 #27

Sometimes the victim wants out but sees no way to do that. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #6

She got comfortable with it, until the end. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #14

Got comfortable with it? Then she was a rare bird. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #21

That particular relationship lasted about five years. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #29

Well, if there's serious dysfunction in a family the likelihood of considering abuse acceptable or Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #34

Co-Dependent-Land is a weird, weird place lapislzi Sep 2014 #37

I am sorry that this happened to your family. lapislzi Sep 2014 #7

"Every domestic violence survivor I have ever met has performed minor acts of heroism every day." sufrommich Sep 2014 #8

Aw, shucks, thanks :-) lapislzi Sep 2014 #15

"when your secret wish is for the abuser to get hit by a bus" -- IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #24

Thank you for your kind words. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #16

I honestly "got" your "getting it." lapislzi Sep 2014 #28

Victim blaming is what terrible people do. nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #10

Indeed. Lots of words went into that victim blaming post. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #13

Yup. I can see why you think I am a terrible person. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #19

My stepson beats his girlfriend .. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #33

Well, what are you waiting for? derby378 Sep 2014 #42

the cops were called.he went to jail.they're back together.back at ya. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #44

Ugh - sorry to hear that. derby378 Sep 2014 #45

Get a clue. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #17

best post in this thread! bettyellen Sep 2014 #22

Unfortunately, that blog does not match with my "real life" experience. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #23

And I am free to tell you I think it's terrible. BTW, I have "real life experience" as well. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #25

You are right - I didn't read it. I apologize for that. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #30

I can feel the pain in your posts on this thread,Ida. sufrommich Sep 2014 #32

+ 1 zillion lapislzi Sep 2014 #5

Abusers are also extremely good at getting their victims to blame themselves and apologize!?!?!?? LeftyMom Sep 2014 #9

Very true. nt sufrommich Sep 2014 #11

"look what you made me do" nt justabob Sep 2014 #18

Thank you for this post me b zola Sep 2014 #20

K&R and K&R and K&R..nt riderinthestorm Sep 2014 #31

Been there, done that & got the t-shirt! Melurkyoulongtime Sep 2014 #35

Welcome to DU Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #38

hey, lady fizzgig Sep 2014 #39

Thank you Melurkyoulongtime Sep 2014 #40

The relief period is commonly called "the honeymoon phase." Warpy Sep 2014 #36

Thank You for the OP rbrnmw Sep 2014 #41

K&R Tuesday Afternoon Sep 2014 #43