Dynamics of Domestic Abuse

[justiceischeap]

27. I wasn't there so I don't know the facts surrounding your sisters' situation but I can say this from

experience: There is always a pattern of abuse whether it be physical or verbal. It's there from the beginning. Most abuse starts out verbal or mental then moves onto physical (it isn't always that way but more often than not it is). You mentally and verbally berate the person you're with until they believe they can't do better than the piece of shit they're with and the the physical abuse will kick in. And patterns are patterns for a reason, they tend to repeat themselves.

For example, my father, though physically abusive towards me was more mentally/verbally abusive overall and I still have self-esteem issues in my early 40s because of his treatment. Theoretically, I'd be ripe for an abusive relationship but because I have trust issues, I'm single. Friendships are hard enough for me let alone romantic relationships. I've been to therapy, I'm medicated and still, I'd be ripe to seek out someone like my father even if I wasn't consciously doing it and there's a good chance I'd end up with someone like him. I wouldn't notice it right away either and I'm pretty in touch with all this psycho babble stuff. For people on drugs, whose judgement is already clouded, it'd be quite easy for your sister to miss the signals that she was ending up with an abusive man.