Dynamics of Domestic Abuse

[Warpy]

36. The relief period is commonly called "the honeymoon phase."

It's when the abuser is contrite and starts to woo the victim all over again. It can be the hook that keeps people in abusive relationships, that wonderful, heady time when the victim is with the partner s/he remembered from courtship.

As the cycle continues, that period gets shorter and shorter and disappears completely if the abuse is allowed to continue. By that time, a victim is so beaten down that s/he feels unworthy of escape.

Abuse works. It puts people under control through fear. That's why there are so many abusers in the world.

The best thing to do is educating victims and creating an infrastructure to allow them to leave an abusive relationship without wrecking their lives completely. It's also essential that the cops/state press charges of abuse, not the victim. It's the only way to convince abusers that what they're doing is wrong.