Wife defends Ray Rice, slams media

[littlemissmartypants]

16. Power and Control.

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The cycle of abuse has four phases:

 

Build-up: 
Stress builds up in the abuse

The cycle begins with some stress (ex: job, money or bills). The stress causes the abuser to feel powerless. The abuser chooses to act out toward a spouse or partner through name-calling, insults and accusations. As the tension builds, victims try to calm the abusers and try to guess ways to meet all their needs.  The tension becomes unbearable. At the stage, victims feel like they have to be extra careful and alert around the abuser. It’s like walking on eggshells

 

Act Out:
Tension leads to violence

The tension that builds up in the abuser leads to severe verbal abuse, threats or a violent physical or sexual attack.It may happen once – but usually happens over and over.Abuse is always on purpose – it is never an accident. Abusers believe they need to hurt or humiliate their victims so they can feel they have the power and control in the relationship.

 

Rationalize/Justify:
Abusers blame others, rationalize their actions

Once they’ve committed the violent act, abusers will often blame others or use excuses to justify their actions. For example, the abuser might tell the victim: “you have been driving me crazy lately. It’s your fault this happened!” Or, he/she may make light of the violence that occurred: “I barely touched you. You’re making a big deal out of nothing!”These are defenses used to turn the blame away from abusers and make them feel better about themselves. Abusers then try to convince their victims that the abuser’s version of the truth is what really happened. Often, because they feel powerless to object, victims begin to doubt their own experience. They start to believe the incident really happened the way the abuser remembers it.
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More at link.
http://www.gov.mb.ca/fs/fvpp/cycle.html