General Discussion

Avalux

(35,015 posts)

52. She's not an idiot, please don't call her that.

Tue Sep 9, 2014, 12:34 PM

Sep 2014

I wasn't an idiot either. I didn't think I was worthy of being treated with respect, and gave my power away for 'security' as she's done. Once you're in it, once you've convinced yourself you love that person, and he's nice sometimes, and he provides for a good life....there are all kinds of reasons, and in her mind they make perfect sense. She's making bad decisions because she thinks she doesn't deserve better. She needs help, not insults. She's lashing out now because their family is in crisis mode - he's lost his job. She doesn't know if he'll take it out on her and she's going to do and say anything to keep him pacified. Horrific.

I hope she will find the strength to leave.

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Wife defends Ray Rice, slams media [View all] joeybee12 Sep 2014 OP

Domestic disputes (abusive relationships) are the most dangerous for the police underpants Sep 2014 #1

While true, I have no idea what that has to do with this article tkmorris Sep 2014 #2

She is in an abusive relationship underpants Sep 2014 #14

And in denial. nt Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #28

Because you can see the "circle the wagons" mentality in this Twitter post ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #70

This is so sad. It's clear she believes this is her fault. Tatiana Sep 2014 #3

All I will say is that she married him after malaise Sep 2014 #6

And your point? That abused women make bad decisions? HERVEPA Sep 2014 #20

No point - just an observation malaise Sep 2014 #24

We all knew she married him afterward. Curious as to the point of the post. HERVEPA Sep 2014 #27

Maybe to 'inform'. I didn't know she married him after the abuse and now I do. eom Purveyor Sep 2014 #78

OK. Got it. HERVEPA Sep 2014 #90

a person has to reach a certain point, sadly. bettyellen Sep 2014 #45

She had a child with him before that horrific beating. She was already tied to him emotionally pnwmom Sep 2014 #73

This seems to be a vicious circle, which is what domestic abuse is. CTyankee Sep 2014 #12

Does she post here? Maybe we need us questioning why she stays. merrily Sep 2014 #54

Sadly this reaction is not uncommon geek tragedy Sep 2014 #4

Blame the media for the fact that your husband is now unemployed...real good PR move. (Sarcasm) Mike Daniels Sep 2014 #5

yup and possibly he would already be in a treatment program. nt littlewolf Sep 2014 #11

Over the years Old Codger Sep 2014 #7

All PDs should do that, since the victim usually either won't tblue37 Sep 2014 #26

I Knew Old Codger Sep 2014 #40

Oh, oh. Income stream drying up divorce to follow. NV Whino Sep 2014 #8

Plenty of info out there if you care to look. HERVEPA Sep 2014 #21

Yes,I know. NV Whino Sep 2014 #22

she more then likely had a abusive childhood, or a relationship that she felt she had no power in. a kennedy Sep 2014 #32

What I found to be disgusting is that he was Autumn Sep 2014 #9

Many abused women feel this same way. boston bean Sep 2014 #10

Goldie Taylor was just saying the same thing on MSNBC. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #30

I truly hope this doesn't become a pile-on, this is a woman needs HELP Happyhippychick Sep 2014 #13

This is a classic DU pile-on. But that's OK, because it isn't even about Rice or Palmer now. Dreamer Tatum Sep 2014 #25

How long should he be locked up for jamzrockz Sep 2014 #47

For 24 hours longer than you think he should be Dreamer Tatum Sep 2014 #49

Good One RobinA Sep 2014 #53

Here's what I learned about what you 'learned' from DU. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #61

Disagree. Dreamer Tatum Sep 2014 #63

Seems like a few posters here just hate this place and the other posters Rex Sep 2014 #81

No doubt! We should just shut down DU and not talk about anything at all! Rex Sep 2014 #79

Jury Results Blue_Adept Sep 2014 #88

Indeed. mindfulNJ Sep 2014 #46

SMH Mr Dixon Sep 2014 #15

Power and Control. littlemissmartypants Sep 2014 #16

OMGosh.....this is it. a kennedy Sep 2014 #34

Incredible information presented. Thank you. truedelphi Sep 2014 #80

Money's Drying Up JanetLovesObama Sep 2014 #17

I fear for her life. nt littlemissmartypants Sep 2014 #18

The psychology of domestic violence is a terrible thing. Brickbat Sep 2014 #19

Got that right. a kennedy Sep 2014 #33

taking the happiness away treestar Sep 2014 #23

The one thing I will agree on... one_voice Sep 2014 #29

I happen to agree most profoundly nt Dreamer Tatum Sep 2014 #31

I'm going to disagree, respectfully. boston bean Sep 2014 #35

It should have been prosecuted... one_voice Sep 2014 #38

It was prosecuted. He pled guilty. MADem Sep 2014 #51

No it wasn't... one_voice Sep 2014 #56

If there's an up-side to this horror, it is that the issue of these squirrely diversions is finally MADem Sep 2014 #57

Agree completely.... Punkingal Sep 2014 #75

Disagree. The vid put a face on what domestic violence really is bigwillq Sep 2014 #36

I never suggested that women... one_voice Sep 2014 #39

I suspect the reason it was leaked was because someone felt justiceischeap Sep 2014 #43

The prosecutors certainly did. And when the whitewash and cover up geek tragedy Sep 2014 #48

Let me be clear... one_voice Sep 2014 #50

That was all known. And it was being covered up geek tragedy Sep 2014 #60

I disagree Blue_Tires Sep 2014 #71

I didn't *need* to see it... one_voice Sep 2014 #77

Well that's you then...Don't watch it if you don't want to Blue_Tires Sep 2014 #83

Yeah better to cover up domestic violence, than to expose it for all the world to see. Rex Sep 2014 #82

Right. Because that's what I said.... one_voice Sep 2014 #85

Ray Rice got away with this until we saw the video Z_California Sep 2014 #86

Do we need to see prison rapes too? one_voice Sep 2014 #87

Given they went to court ordered counciling Johonny Sep 2014 #37

I guess we all know what's best for her lame54 Sep 2014 #41

Having a conversation on DV, with Palmer-Rice as the catalyst, doesn't mean we all know what's best justiceischeap Sep 2014 #44

Okay, she really is an idiot now. FLPanhandle Sep 2014 #42

She's not an idiot, please don't call her that. Avalux Sep 2014 #52

Victim shaming is not the right answer. Strike that. It is not the correct answer. merrily Sep 2014 #55

I wonder if she is embarrassed Quantess Sep 2014 #58

And it would be horribly humiliating to watch yourself in that video. pnwmom Sep 2014 #76

Wow, she is in serious denial. I hope she wakes up eventually before it's too late. catbyte Sep 2014 #59

"He hits me but he's rich, what are you people doing to me?" nt TeamPooka Sep 2014 #62

Maybe. Maybe not. 840high Sep 2014 #64

Read somehwere they have a child LittleBlue Sep 2014 #65

My mom was hit/beaten by my dad many times. I was a witness. She left him for fears for my safety. TeamPooka Sep 2014 #66

Your mother was very strong LittleBlue Sep 2014 #67

Thank you. It was not an easy thing for her to do back in 1965. I would hope it could TeamPooka Sep 2014 #69

They do. And it wouldn't be just pride to keep her family together -- it would be out of concern pnwmom Sep 2014 #74

Stockholm syndrome. Rex Sep 2014 #68

oh....So it's "the media's" fault....Is that your story now? Blue_Tires Sep 2014 #72

Very sad shenmue Sep 2014 #84

She's blessed to forgive what he did to her Catherine Vincent Sep 2014 #89

It alomst sounds like "He's going to blame ME for this! You know what will happen, so please stop!" arcane1 Sep 2014 #91

And dont forget the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ MFM008 Sep 2014 #92

This message was self-deleted by its author ok_cpu Sep 2014 #96

You know, this isn't about her rock Sep 2014 #93

"unwanted options" cwydro Sep 2014 #94

Blame everyone except the person who caused this whole fiasco Taitertots Sep 2014 #95