General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Why am I always reminded here on DU that women can be abusive just like men? [View all]cascadiance
(19,537 posts)But that it is a big problem for both in terms of frequency, severity, and an area of concern I think is a false (or at least an extreme) equivalency. I speak as a man here too. I think we need to recognize that most of the time men don't have to worry when going out on the town of being beaten up by women they try to associate with. It's far more of a real problem that women have to be concerned with when they meet men, or with men in many cases that they know as well.
For the men out there that are victims, we shouldn't be minimizing their experience either (and for many of them we should also recognize that sometimes it is even harder for them than for women to publicly acknowledge what they've experienced), but I think to dwell on that, when we see the huge amount of problems of women experiencing violence on a daily basis I think is distracting us from a large problem that needs a strategy to be dealt with.
Perhaps another thought here, in addition to men trying to show the feminine side of themselves and help women feel more comfort and understanding. Perhaps women that want less violence from men can reach out to many men out there that may at times in extreme cases be called "wimps", or not the kind that's going to go out and be tough towards others to prove their manhood. Not to every guy of course, but to show to many men they like, feel they know and trust well enough that they don't have to be a "tough stud" to get a woman's attention at times and be more rewarded for just being nice and sensitive at times. I know many women already do this, but perhaps go the extra mile a few more times to set a newer model of manhood and interaction that is respected.
We worship athletes (especially male athletes in society). Most athletes are fine and decent people, but by using that as a measuring stick of acceptability, many of those who aren't look more to emphasize their "toughness" that accelerates to incidents like the one we're talking about because society rewards it over just being decent human beings in many cases.