General Discussion

trumad

(41,692 posts) Thu Apr 12, 2012, 02:17 PM Apr 2012

Can you really say that being a stay home Mother is a career? [View all]

I was a stay at home Dad for a couple of years and I know how tough it is to take care of 3 kids, do the household chores, etc. It was fricking hard.

I kind of wish I had the money for maids, a break at the Country Club, etc--- I digress---

But--- I wouldn't consider it a working career.

Both my wife and I work and we're still raising our kids---so technically---for those who say that being a stay home parent is a career decision--- my wife and I have two careers. Home and work.

Mitt Romney put his wife front and center with regards to women's issues--- workplace equality--Pay---healthcare, etc....

How could she possibly know what goes on in the workplace if she's never been in the workplace?

She is no expert---not even close.... so her getting called out on it is perfectly fine as far as I'm concerned.

147 replies

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Can you really say that being a stay home Mother is a career? [View all] trumad Apr 2012 OP

I'm sure she had plenty of help, paid and otherwise, and never had to worry about librechik Apr 2012 #1

I'm sure she knows all about having plastic surgery, hiring nannies, telling the chef what to cook, Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #50

I suppose it works both ways. Snake Alchemist Apr 2012 #2

Well some have done both... trumad Apr 2012 #5

I've done both. Maine-ah Apr 2012 #8

I have done both. HopeFor2006 Apr 2012 #22

I did both. I stayed home for 10 years raising the 3 kids. Then I went into the workforce. CTyankee Apr 2012 #76

Not working yet laundry_queen Apr 2012 #93

I would not consider it a working career either, but I like you know how damn tough it is. Unless teddy51 Apr 2012 #3

I do view stay at home Mom as -- Hell Hath No Fury Apr 2012 #4

agree. And stay at home parents Bluerthanblue Apr 2012 #14

That's precisely it. A stay-at-home mom provides experience for having another stay-at-home mom Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #39

since you've never been a stay-at-home mom RainDog Apr 2012 #102

How? For the same reason you don't have to jump from a 5-storey bldg to know it hurts Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #117

stay-at-home parents also do volunteer work RainDog Apr 2012 #130

That's different because that's not a family relationship. And you're right... Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #131

Give it up joeglow3 Apr 2012 #133

good advice n/t RainDog Apr 2012 #136

If that is the case then the 92.3% of women losing jobs is BS Bandit Apr 2012 #6

I'm at work from 8-5, my wife is working from 8-5 snooper2 Apr 2012 #7

I suppose the one who could call it a career is the asjr Apr 2012 #9

Particularly NOT the Duggar woman, since she merely pops them out and her other kids care for them Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #46

How can someone knows what goes on in China unless they live there The Straight Story Apr 2012 #10

If "stay-at-home mom" is a career, what about a "stay-at-home wife?" Is that a career if you take Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #57

I did both Happyhippychick Apr 2012 #11

It's the hardest job in the world, but it's not a career. I decided not to have kids because it's Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #12

But if you list housekeeper, nanny, personal assistant and communty organizer EFerrari Apr 2012 #29

Yes. Cleaning houses, though, doesn't require a resume, and caring for children requires a degree Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #37

I know college instructors in the same boat. EFerrari Apr 2012 #42

College instructors have a degree, I suppose, and (one imagines) resume-worthy experience nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #54

4 loads of laundry a week and cooking blueamy66 Apr 2012 #59

Of course! Doing 2 jobs is just hard. Too hard. nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #62

True but Hillary Rosen should have been clear malaise Apr 2012 #13

If it is, then how do you climb the career ladder? Ezlivin Apr 2012 #15

definition abelenkpe Apr 2012 #16

It's a bit of a "dead end" career Sheepshank Apr 2012 #17

Kinda like "wife" or "husband," which have duties you can't use on a resume. They're important, Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #43

Do we really want to attack stay at home mothers? former9thward Apr 2012 #18

Nobody is attacking stay at home Mothers... trumad Apr 2012 #26

Except that is not what the quote was. former9thward Apr 2012 #28

No one is attacking stay-at-home mothers. I have LOTS of experience as a wife but is that resume- Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #40

No one was talking about resumes. former9thward Apr 2012 #75

It really wasn't a dumb statement. Republican shitheads know damned well what work is Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #99

If you consider familial duties a job, then every single thing in life is a job, no holds barred.nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #120

You are changing the quote. former9thward Apr 2012 #123

I didn't ignore the quote. She has never worked a job. Family tasks are not "work." Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #124

Not only does President Obama strongly disagree with you former9thward Apr 2012 #125

Obama is a gentle soul that often prefers to take the Gandhi way out of issues Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #132

Please define "work" joeglow3 Apr 2012 #134

CERTAINLY NOT what we do normally for our relatives! nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #141

So, you make up your own definitions and then argue that THAT is correct joeglow3 Apr 2012 #142

What do you mean? I said that relationships are not a job. Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #143

You are trying to interpret what was said joeglow3 Apr 2012 #144

The semantics games are what really, really, really anger me most of all. This is a great example Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #146

Of course it is. Just because you weren't paid for it doesn't make it any less a career choice Cleita Apr 2012 #19

well said Bluerthanblue Apr 2012 #23

If I were a stay at home mom, I'd be insulted. Iris Apr 2012 #52

But, isn't raising children the most important thing a woman has to do? Cleita Apr 2012 #73

No Iris Apr 2012 #80

So what is it in your mind? Cleita Apr 2012 #81

Parents make mistakes all the time. Iris Apr 2012 #82

I did office work and often made mistakes, but my mistakes were fixable. Cleita Apr 2012 #87

Children are resilient. Iris Apr 2012 #89

You are just being ridiculous. Cleita Apr 2012 #91

I am not being ridiculous. Iris Apr 2012 #138

No wonder there are so many neglected and screwed up kids in the Cleita Apr 2012 #139

Exactly. When parents don't do their jobs lives are ruined. n/t Mimosa Apr 2012 #107

So, if raising children is the most important thing women do, what about you and me? REP Apr 2012 #115

But I'm wondering... if "being a mom" is a career, is "being a husband" a career? Is "being a wife" Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #55

If your sister or cousin comes by and cooks, cleans and does child care for you, yes Cleita Apr 2012 #72

Doing something to make money and a career are different Iris Apr 2012 #85

Housekeeping actually is a career. Cleita Apr 2012 #90

So only children can turn family duties into an official job? nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #100

You don't make sense. Please explain. n/t Cleita Apr 2012 #101

Being a mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandma are not careers. nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #118

Uh... hell no. I've taken care of my family members and haven't charged one penny. That's love Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #119

Well said! /nt October Apr 2012 #98

As a father, here's my answer Justice4allofus Apr 2012 #20

I had a friend, who was a single mother, who said the same thing. Cleita Apr 2012 #31

Unless you're home-schooling or having a clown-car full of kids, it's not a long term career. PassingFair Apr 2012 #68

Yes it is. nt Opportunityknocks Apr 2012 #21

i started working at 12. stopped at 33. stay at home is not a career. a career killer. seabeyond Apr 2012 #24

I do have to agree. I have lots of experience as a wife, but I can't put that on a resume. Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #41

Ludicrous to claim that Ms Romney has anything in common Permanut Apr 2012 #25

Mitt has made her the expert in his campaign about job equality and pay... trumad Apr 2012 #27

That's F absurd nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #47

She's a rich woman, she's a rich daughter, a rich wife, a rich granddaughter, a rich mom, a rich Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #45

Yes I would say that. proud2BlibKansan Apr 2012 #30

I am a stay at home Dad. It is an honor, a sacrifice, an investment, and a luxury; but not a career. MatthewStLouis Apr 2012 #32

And a career generally lasts a lifetime. Iris Apr 2012 #56

Doing anything for family is always an honor, a sacrifice, and pretty cool. I love being an aunt to Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #61

Agreed. Too bad the quote was not that she has never had a career joeglow3 Apr 2012 #135

Ann Romney was not a typical stay at home Mom. Jennicut Apr 2012 #33

Ann Romney was born in 1949. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2012 #34

wiki says she was largely invisible as a governor's wife Generic Other Apr 2012 #104

It's certainly not a career in the traditional sense of that word. SheilaT Apr 2012 #35

I can ... GeorgeGist Apr 2012 #36

What is wrong with being a stay-at-home mom RebelOne Apr 2012 #38

What's wrong with it? Nothing, but the discussion is not about that. lol nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #44

Not a thing. What's wrong is how Ann is defining it - Avalux Apr 2012 #51

No. It's a job. But not a career. Iris Apr 2012 #48

Depends upon the situation TBF Apr 2012 #49

I believe it can be one of the most grueling jobs in my estimation Broderick Apr 2012 #53

then maybe you need to "rethink" how you are raising your kids blueamy66 Apr 2012 #60

Naps with 3 and 4 year olds Broderick Apr 2012 #70

No, it's not a career.... blueamy66 Apr 2012 #58

I was a stay-at-hone mom for 3 years when my children were young. RebelOne Apr 2012 #63

Webster: "Career" (n)... OneTenthofOnePercent Apr 2012 #78

Yeah, I think it is. H2O Man Apr 2012 #64

All I know is that this should be handled very delicately. DevonRex Apr 2012 #65

I really did try and word my OP with that in mind. trumad Apr 2012 #67

I think you did a good job of it. DevonRex Apr 2012 #86

It is a job and there is a difference quaker bill Apr 2012 #66

The Kennedys are (were) wealthy lillypaddle Apr 2012 #69

Lillypaddle, I've been posting much the same. You nailed it. Mimosa Apr 2012 #108

No. kiva Apr 2012 #71

I can't believe all the feminists on this board, suddenly don't think the work that Cleita Apr 2012 #74

Working women work, even if that work is housework and child care REP Apr 2012 #116

If it is, then Octomom should be the CEO. n/t lumberjack_jeff Apr 2012 #77

Career, no. ManiacJoe Apr 2012 #79

Um, helloooo!! Is household cook or faithful family retainer a full time job? Bruce Wayne Apr 2012 #83

Yes...Indeed I think it's a Career! KoKo Apr 2012 #84

Mrs. Romney (and make no mistake - her only identity is as Mitt's wife) baldguy Apr 2012 #88

It was "Her Choice" in the time frame of the beliefs she grew up with as Mormon and KoKo Apr 2012 #94

There are millions of women who made the same choice - but didn't have the luxury of being rich baldguy Apr 2012 #96

Her Husband is the one running for President. I will not condemn her for her KoKo Apr 2012 #97

I don't varelse Apr 2012 #92

Boy, is this ever a lose lose argument. Zax2me Apr 2012 #95

Is he? Mimosa Apr 2012 #109

I think it's a lot of work. A lot of jobs we have are not necessarily careers, but they are jobs La Lioness Priyanka Apr 2012 #103

Taking care of my autistic child and my toddler is indeed work. Butterbean Apr 2012 #105

Welcome to DU! greyl Apr 2012 #106

Butterbean we're not all stupid. Mimosa Apr 2012 #110

I totally agree with you. Motherhood is a career choice. What you do is a full time plus plus job. IndyJones Apr 2012 #113

This autistic guy says welcome to DU! Odin2005 Apr 2012 #121

Hey there, Odin. :) Nice to meet you. Butterbean Apr 2012 #137

Thanks! Odin2005 Apr 2012 #140

no greymattermom Apr 2012 #111

This is such a nontroversy. IndyJones Apr 2012 #112

Mrs. Romney is out of touch. Quantess Apr 2012 #114

Yes, and fuck those who under value it- BeHereNow Apr 2012 #122

YES cherokeeprogressive Apr 2012 #126

I think attacking women's choices is a dead end. A toxic line of debate. nt Romulox Apr 2012 #127

Yes! ananda Apr 2012 #128

I guess I'm working two jobs, then Sabriel Apr 2012 #129

Not in a capitalist dominated society marshall Apr 2012 #145

Please Note, I am taling tongue in cheek Xyzse Apr 2012 #147