General Discussion

TBF

(36,697 posts)

49. Depends upon the situation

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 05:12 PM

Apr 2012

I had a career and then "retired" at 40 to take care of my kids. That so-called "retirement" will only last if my spouse continues in his job of course, and we aren't out there driving two brand new Mercedez SUVs. Many couples do that - one works and one stays home (and in this day and age many are doing that whether they want to or not depending upon which can find a job first).

It's really different from being in an office - especially fast paced jobs in large cities. It's pretty nice to have windows everywhere and not have to ask to go to the bathroom. It's also more work than you'd think to pick up after kids (especially if you have disabled kids), feed them, clean up after them, taxi them around, take care of the pets, etc... but that also depends upon how much help you have. If you are Ann Romney and can hire all the housekeeping, nannies, and other helpers you need it becomes much less work.

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Can you really say that being a stay home Mother is a career? [View all] trumad Apr 2012 OP

I'm sure she had plenty of help, paid and otherwise, and never had to worry about librechik Apr 2012 #1

I'm sure she knows all about having plastic surgery, hiring nannies, telling the chef what to cook, Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #50

I suppose it works both ways. Snake Alchemist Apr 2012 #2

Well some have done both... trumad Apr 2012 #5

I've done both. Maine-ah Apr 2012 #8

I have done both. HopeFor2006 Apr 2012 #22

I did both. I stayed home for 10 years raising the 3 kids. Then I went into the workforce. CTyankee Apr 2012 #76

Not working yet laundry_queen Apr 2012 #93

I would not consider it a working career either, but I like you know how damn tough it is. Unless teddy51 Apr 2012 #3

I do view stay at home Mom as -- Hell Hath No Fury Apr 2012 #4

agree. And stay at home parents Bluerthanblue Apr 2012 #14

That's precisely it. A stay-at-home mom provides experience for having another stay-at-home mom Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #39

since you've never been a stay-at-home mom RainDog Apr 2012 #102

How? For the same reason you don't have to jump from a 5-storey bldg to know it hurts Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #117

stay-at-home parents also do volunteer work RainDog Apr 2012 #130

That's different because that's not a family relationship. And you're right... Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #131

Give it up joeglow3 Apr 2012 #133

good advice n/t RainDog Apr 2012 #136

If that is the case then the 92.3% of women losing jobs is BS Bandit Apr 2012 #6

I'm at work from 8-5, my wife is working from 8-5 snooper2 Apr 2012 #7

I suppose the one who could call it a career is the asjr Apr 2012 #9

Particularly NOT the Duggar woman, since she merely pops them out and her other kids care for them Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #46

How can someone knows what goes on in China unless they live there The Straight Story Apr 2012 #10

If "stay-at-home mom" is a career, what about a "stay-at-home wife?" Is that a career if you take Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #57

I did both Happyhippychick Apr 2012 #11

It's the hardest job in the world, but it's not a career. I decided not to have kids because it's Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #12

But if you list housekeeper, nanny, personal assistant and communty organizer EFerrari Apr 2012 #29

Yes. Cleaning houses, though, doesn't require a resume, and caring for children requires a degree Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #37

I know college instructors in the same boat. EFerrari Apr 2012 #42

College instructors have a degree, I suppose, and (one imagines) resume-worthy experience nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #54

4 loads of laundry a week and cooking blueamy66 Apr 2012 #59

Of course! Doing 2 jobs is just hard. Too hard. nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #62

True but Hillary Rosen should have been clear malaise Apr 2012 #13

If it is, then how do you climb the career ladder? Ezlivin Apr 2012 #15

definition abelenkpe Apr 2012 #16

It's a bit of a "dead end" career Sheepshank Apr 2012 #17

Kinda like "wife" or "husband," which have duties you can't use on a resume. They're important, Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #43

Do we really want to attack stay at home mothers? former9thward Apr 2012 #18

Nobody is attacking stay at home Mothers... trumad Apr 2012 #26

Except that is not what the quote was. former9thward Apr 2012 #28

No one is attacking stay-at-home mothers. I have LOTS of experience as a wife but is that resume- Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #40

No one was talking about resumes. former9thward Apr 2012 #75

It really wasn't a dumb statement. Republican shitheads know damned well what work is Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #99

If you consider familial duties a job, then every single thing in life is a job, no holds barred.nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #120

You are changing the quote. former9thward Apr 2012 #123

I didn't ignore the quote. She has never worked a job. Family tasks are not "work." Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #124

Not only does President Obama strongly disagree with you former9thward Apr 2012 #125

Obama is a gentle soul that often prefers to take the Gandhi way out of issues Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #132

Please define "work" joeglow3 Apr 2012 #134

CERTAINLY NOT what we do normally for our relatives! nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #141

So, you make up your own definitions and then argue that THAT is correct joeglow3 Apr 2012 #142

What do you mean? I said that relationships are not a job. Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #143

You are trying to interpret what was said joeglow3 Apr 2012 #144

The semantics games are what really, really, really anger me most of all. This is a great example Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #146

Of course it is. Just because you weren't paid for it doesn't make it any less a career choice Cleita Apr 2012 #19

well said Bluerthanblue Apr 2012 #23

If I were a stay at home mom, I'd be insulted. Iris Apr 2012 #52

But, isn't raising children the most important thing a woman has to do? Cleita Apr 2012 #73

No Iris Apr 2012 #80

So what is it in your mind? Cleita Apr 2012 #81

Parents make mistakes all the time. Iris Apr 2012 #82

I did office work and often made mistakes, but my mistakes were fixable. Cleita Apr 2012 #87

Children are resilient. Iris Apr 2012 #89

You are just being ridiculous. Cleita Apr 2012 #91

I am not being ridiculous. Iris Apr 2012 #138

No wonder there are so many neglected and screwed up kids in the Cleita Apr 2012 #139

Exactly. When parents don't do their jobs lives are ruined. n/t Mimosa Apr 2012 #107

So, if raising children is the most important thing women do, what about you and me? REP Apr 2012 #115

But I'm wondering... if "being a mom" is a career, is "being a husband" a career? Is "being a wife" Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #55

If your sister or cousin comes by and cooks, cleans and does child care for you, yes Cleita Apr 2012 #72

Doing something to make money and a career are different Iris Apr 2012 #85

Housekeeping actually is a career. Cleita Apr 2012 #90

So only children can turn family duties into an official job? nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #100

You don't make sense. Please explain. n/t Cleita Apr 2012 #101

Being a mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandma are not careers. nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #118

Uh... hell no. I've taken care of my family members and haven't charged one penny. That's love Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #119

Well said! /nt October Apr 2012 #98

As a father, here's my answer Justice4allofus Apr 2012 #20

I had a friend, who was a single mother, who said the same thing. Cleita Apr 2012 #31

Unless you're home-schooling or having a clown-car full of kids, it's not a long term career. PassingFair Apr 2012 #68

Yes it is. nt Opportunityknocks Apr 2012 #21

i started working at 12. stopped at 33. stay at home is not a career. a career killer. seabeyond Apr 2012 #24

I do have to agree. I have lots of experience as a wife, but I can't put that on a resume. Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #41

Ludicrous to claim that Ms Romney has anything in common Permanut Apr 2012 #25

Mitt has made her the expert in his campaign about job equality and pay... trumad Apr 2012 #27

That's F absurd nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #47

She's a rich woman, she's a rich daughter, a rich wife, a rich granddaughter, a rich mom, a rich Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #45

Yes I would say that. proud2BlibKansan Apr 2012 #30

I am a stay at home Dad. It is an honor, a sacrifice, an investment, and a luxury; but not a career. MatthewStLouis Apr 2012 #32

And a career generally lasts a lifetime. Iris Apr 2012 #56

Doing anything for family is always an honor, a sacrifice, and pretty cool. I love being an aunt to Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #61

Agreed. Too bad the quote was not that she has never had a career joeglow3 Apr 2012 #135

Ann Romney was not a typical stay at home Mom. Jennicut Apr 2012 #33

Ann Romney was born in 1949. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2012 #34

wiki says she was largely invisible as a governor's wife Generic Other Apr 2012 #104

It's certainly not a career in the traditional sense of that word. SheilaT Apr 2012 #35

I can ... GeorgeGist Apr 2012 #36

What is wrong with being a stay-at-home mom RebelOne Apr 2012 #38

What's wrong with it? Nothing, but the discussion is not about that. lol nt Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #44

Not a thing. What's wrong is how Ann is defining it - Avalux Apr 2012 #51

No. It's a job. But not a career. Iris Apr 2012 #48

Depends upon the situation TBF Apr 2012 #49

I believe it can be one of the most grueling jobs in my estimation Broderick Apr 2012 #53

then maybe you need to "rethink" how you are raising your kids blueamy66 Apr 2012 #60

Naps with 3 and 4 year olds Broderick Apr 2012 #70

No, it's not a career.... blueamy66 Apr 2012 #58

I was a stay-at-hone mom for 3 years when my children were young. RebelOne Apr 2012 #63

Webster: "Career" (n)... OneTenthofOnePercent Apr 2012 #78

Yeah, I think it is. H2O Man Apr 2012 #64

All I know is that this should be handled very delicately. DevonRex Apr 2012 #65

I really did try and word my OP with that in mind. trumad Apr 2012 #67

I think you did a good job of it. DevonRex Apr 2012 #86

It is a job and there is a difference quaker bill Apr 2012 #66

The Kennedys are (were) wealthy lillypaddle Apr 2012 #69

Lillypaddle, I've been posting much the same. You nailed it. Mimosa Apr 2012 #108

No. kiva Apr 2012 #71

I can't believe all the feminists on this board, suddenly don't think the work that Cleita Apr 2012 #74

Working women work, even if that work is housework and child care REP Apr 2012 #116

If it is, then Octomom should be the CEO. n/t lumberjack_jeff Apr 2012 #77

Career, no. ManiacJoe Apr 2012 #79

Um, helloooo!! Is household cook or faithful family retainer a full time job? Bruce Wayne Apr 2012 #83

Yes...Indeed I think it's a Career! KoKo Apr 2012 #84

Mrs. Romney (and make no mistake - her only identity is as Mitt's wife) baldguy Apr 2012 #88

It was "Her Choice" in the time frame of the beliefs she grew up with as Mormon and KoKo Apr 2012 #94

There are millions of women who made the same choice - but didn't have the luxury of being rich baldguy Apr 2012 #96

Her Husband is the one running for President. I will not condemn her for her KoKo Apr 2012 #97

I don't varelse Apr 2012 #92

Boy, is this ever a lose lose argument. Zax2me Apr 2012 #95

Is he? Mimosa Apr 2012 #109

I think it's a lot of work. A lot of jobs we have are not necessarily careers, but they are jobs La Lioness Priyanka Apr 2012 #103

Taking care of my autistic child and my toddler is indeed work. Butterbean Apr 2012 #105

Welcome to DU! greyl Apr 2012 #106

Butterbean we're not all stupid. Mimosa Apr 2012 #110

I totally agree with you. Motherhood is a career choice. What you do is a full time plus plus job. IndyJones Apr 2012 #113

This autistic guy says welcome to DU! Odin2005 Apr 2012 #121

Hey there, Odin. :) Nice to meet you. Butterbean Apr 2012 #137

Thanks! Odin2005 Apr 2012 #140

no greymattermom Apr 2012 #111

This is such a nontroversy. IndyJones Apr 2012 #112

Mrs. Romney is out of touch. Quantess Apr 2012 #114

Yes, and fuck those who under value it- BeHereNow Apr 2012 #122

YES cherokeeprogressive Apr 2012 #126

I think attacking women's choices is a dead end. A toxic line of debate. nt Romulox Apr 2012 #127

Yes! ananda Apr 2012 #128

I guess I'm working two jobs, then Sabriel Apr 2012 #129

Not in a capitalist dominated society marshall Apr 2012 #145

Please Note, I am taling tongue in cheek Xyzse Apr 2012 #147