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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)

22. You are WAY to keyed up to viewing everything as a fight to the death, you know that?

Reply to seabeyond (Reply #20)

Tue Sep 23, 2014, 11:43 PM

Sep 2014

You could try to just chill out and breathe and have a discussion once in a while.

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"Nerdy men" and the double standard it represents. [View all] Bonobo Sep 2014 OP

Nerdy women exist, so your entire argument is stupid. nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #1

Of course it is. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #2

Good. You agree. CreekDog Sep 2014 #180

This. Starry Messenger Sep 2014 #3

When girls are called "nerdy", is there sexuality being denied? nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #5

I don't think anyone's (boy or girl) sexuality is being denied with the descriptor "nerdy." cyberswede Sep 2014 #10

No. Men's isn't either. Amazingly enough they're usually sexing on other nerds. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #12

that's not the way I remember it hfojvt Sep 2014 #103

What does how you remember something have to do with how something actually is right now? CreekDog Sep 2014 #181

I sort of have actual experience being a nerd hfojvt Sep 2014 #182

So do I, and it's newer data. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #184

you are not THAT much younger than me hfojvt Sep 2014 #187

Really? DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #107

What happened at Academic Decathalon stayed at Academic Decathalon. nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #139

this is false uponit7771 Sep 2014 #173

WTF? Cali_Democrat Sep 2014 #35

Geez! He's reaching there. smirkymonkey Sep 2014 #174

Of course it is treestar Sep 2014 #131

That entirely... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #140

No, and it is often viewed as a positive. Hosnon Sep 2014 #170

Girls aren't expected... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #105

Girls are expected to be "feminine" and socially adept. MadrasT Sep 2014 #145

As a girl in school, I got mocked for not being athletically capable merrily Sep 2014 #152

I dreaded PE classes because I was skinny and weak betsuni Sep 2014 #155

i am so so sorry. i see it here. even the popular kids? i assure you they have their cross they seabeyond Sep 2014 #160

Ah, no, I'm old -- I'll be 54 next month, water under the bridge. betsuni Sep 2014 #164

water under the bridge. it is surprising how many hittin 50's relive that period. seabeyond Sep 2014 #167

You expected to play team sports? Combat sports etc? Physically attacked... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #157

Yes to several of those questions. merrily Sep 2014 #172

Girls are expected to be physically perfect and are berated mercilessly when they are not. smokey nj Sep 2014 #159

I was not uninterested in sports hfojvt Sep 2014 #188

both my boys call themselves nerds and neither think they are "unmanly" so i will disagree with you. seabeyond Sep 2014 #4

Self-identifying is not the same as labeling other people. Bonobo Sep 2014 #7

ah. didnt get the answer you want so you throw in a twist. no, the kids i seabeyond Sep 2014 #9

From the linked article... Bonobo Sep 2014 #11

Does one person's generalization = everyone's definition? cyberswede Sep 2014 #15

No, but it does make it a potential topic for discussion. Bonobo Sep 2014 #17

no. you tried a gotcha that failed. seabeyond Sep 2014 #20

You are WAY to keyed up to viewing everything as a fight to the death, you know that? Bonobo Sep 2014 #22

no, i do not know that. and just cause you decide does not make it so either. seabeyond Sep 2014 #25

The replies in this thread demonstrate that you are having a discussion. cyberswede Sep 2014 #28

Ok, that's fine. Bonobo Sep 2014 #31

you OP is a DEMAND and even at that, it is an incorrect demand. people are not going to cotton to seabeyond Sep 2014 #33

It is INTERESTING that you projected a "demand" onto the OP. There was none. Bonobo Sep 2014 #37

then tell me it isn't NOT a commonly accepted form of shaming for not being manly enough. seabeyond Sep 2014 #38

I think it's pretty clear your premise of a double standard is nonexistent, in this case. cyberswede Sep 2014 #40

No big deal Bonobo Sep 2014 #42

On DU usually! whistler162 Sep 2014 #142

Another Possible Explanation AndyTiedye Sep 2014 #150

point. this is what i was going ot mention last night. not a nerd or frat or sports world seabeyond Sep 2014 #161

thats nonsense. GeorgeGist Sep 2014 #149

yup, same experience, guys and girls i know have called themselves and others Nerds and it was JI7 Sep 2014 #14

have called the President a Nerd. seabeyond Sep 2014 #19

exactly, it's been embraced , i get called a nerd for always reading JI7 Sep 2014 #24

Definitely being embraced. jen63 Sep 2014 #39

My experiences in grade school, which were mostly in the 90s, ran directly counter to this. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #75

i did read. there are always kids that are picked on. you were one. i am sorry. seabeyond Sep 2014 #77

Thank you, I really appreciate it. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #78

you are welcome. and i am so glad that you state.... seabeyond Sep 2014 #80

Very true JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #53

Well, apparently you didn't read the article ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #69

like there is not a misogynist problem in the jock world, too. or the frat bros or seabeyond Sep 2014 #70

Oh, no, apparently nerds are the worst ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #72

you get the exact same when talking about rice beating his gf, or frats druggie and raping girls seabeyond Sep 2014 #73

That's how I see it. But the sky must be polka dot. Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #141

Seabeyond, I think it's a wonderful thing that your boys can proudly call themselves nerds Hippo_Tron Sep 2014 #130

i have thought about your question, since last night. it is important. and it is not easy or seabeyond Sep 2014 #166

I don't consider "nerdy" to be unmanly. cyberswede Sep 2014 #6

Nerdiness does not connote insufficient manliness The Velveteen Ocelot Sep 2014 #8

"so much as" Bonobo Sep 2014 #13

It usually means "socially inept", not "unmanly". Spider Jerusalem Sep 2014 #16

A nerdy guy, brainy and good looking, Control-Z Sep 2014 #18

this. exactly. i was trying ot explain it above. this is much better. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #23

I got myself one of those. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #27

my sister in law called my husband a dork jokingly. I told him he was not a dork. He is an engineer liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #43

geek is another fav. bush i thought a dork, but took him to doofus. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #44

maybe the fact that if he is "good looking" hfojvt Sep 2014 #97

You are missing the point. Not all good looking men are sexy. Control-Z Sep 2014 #104

no, I caught the point hfojvt Sep 2014 #106

Yup, as long as he has minimal social skills Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #101

Women are nerds too. for fucks sake, it means you are smart. and not pathetically mainstream. bettyellen Sep 2014 #21

Bingo Populist_Prole Sep 2014 #46

+1000 smirkymonkey Sep 2014 #176

My god, that's even more insulting. Marr Sep 2014 #111

That may be the way this author intended it, but it's not the way everyone uses the term. cyberswede Sep 2014 #114

Oh, I think the article is crappy. I think it is talking about a subset of assholes online that has bettyellen Sep 2014 #168

No argument there. Marr Sep 2014 #175

seems to me you could have written a more insightful article! I just thought holding the article up bettyellen Sep 2014 #177

It probably is a stretch. Marr Sep 2014 #183

no worries! I'm still not exactly sure why what I said initially bothered you, but you realized I bettyellen Sep 2014 #186

I believe "nerd" is a negative judgment in some peoples' minds. Manifestor_of_Light Sep 2014 #26

my fourteen y/o nephew thinks being a nerd is uncool but, he is outgrowing Tuesday Afternoon Sep 2014 #29

Not everything is about you. Warpy Sep 2014 #30

I don' think it's about me either. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #32

"...a group of men who have been judged inferior by other men, not by women." cyberswede Sep 2014 #41

nerd always meant socially awkward to me and/or brainy. KittyWampus Sep 2014 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author MannyGoldstein Sep 2014 #36

Yeah laundry_queen Sep 2014 #45

the word is no longer derogatory because popular kids like to call themselves nerdy even when they liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #47

I don't think it's just that laundry_queen Sep 2014 #50

I'm glad it doesn't happen often, but I seriously doubt it never happens. Humans are humans and liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #51

Nerdiness is no longer uncool like it used to be bluestateguy Sep 2014 #48

I have to wonder if physical size has anything to do with it. My husband's nephew is quite a bit liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #49

Smart people consider the words "nerds" and "geeks" to be compliments. pnwmom Sep 2014 #52

I have always found them attractive get the red out Sep 2014 #54

It is simply another attempt Sherman A1 Sep 2014 #55

OMG trumad Sep 2014 #56

Actually, Tru. . . ProfessorGAC Sep 2014 #113

I thought "nerdy" was a synonym for "smart". redruddyred Sep 2014 #57

Well it denotes a bit more than that. Adrahil Sep 2014 #79

"Nerds" are sexy as hell to some people. It's a descriptor of a personality type, not an insult. n/t MadrasT Sep 2014 #58

Bonobo I agree completely. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #59

Very good. H2O Man Sep 2014 #68

+1 Marr Sep 2014 #112

In honor of all who are "wrong in all the right ways" ~ Zorra Sep 2014 #126

Great post, Threedifferentones. Kermitt Gribble Sep 2014 #136

Bingo. nt. Hosnon Sep 2014 #171

Maybe "nerd" or "geek" had magical powers back in the 90s for Charisma Man betsuni Sep 2014 #60

You could drown in that sea of bitterness. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #63

The creators of Charisma Man are all men -- you didn't know that? betsuni Sep 2014 #82

You an English teacher? nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #88

I consider myself a nerd hag eridani Sep 2014 #61

I think that nerdy Dorian Gray Sep 2014 #62

A nerd, male or female, LWolf Sep 2014 #64

OK, it is NOT a commonly accepted form of shaming for not being manly enough. Phentex Sep 2014 #65

Maybe not anymore, but if so that is a recent change, and one perhaps analguous to gay people or AAs Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #74

Is the comic in question from a decade ago? Phentex Sep 2014 #96

Legalize it Bonobo Sep 2014 #66

Nerdy in that context was absolutely used as a pejorative ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #67

Well - I think it's pretty striaghtforward el_bryanto Sep 2014 #71

Well, being a "nerd" isn't the stigma it used to be. Adrahil Sep 2014 #76

Times have changed, now nerds are seen in a different light tularetom Sep 2014 #81

That's silly. Being a nerd is not confined just to men. MineralMan Sep 2014 #83

Band nerds unite! MadrasT Sep 2014 #146

I don't know. What's currently the highest rated sitcom on TV? Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #84

i love my sheldon. i feel like sheldons mom toward my oldest son. seabeyond Sep 2014 #85

That has to be my favorite scene in the whole series. nt Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #87

or another fav... seabeyond Sep 2014 #86

Sheldon! MadrasT Sep 2014 #147

That blog was stupid I was hoping it would die a quick death :) snooper2 Sep 2014 #89

Well, this is what an entire generation grew up thinking nerds were NickB79 Sep 2014 #90

Yea GummyBearz Sep 2014 #143

I married my nerd, before "nerd" was popular TexasMommaWithAHat Sep 2014 #91

so did i. mopinko Sep 2014 #117

Some context to the article that's linked to in your OP justiceischeap Sep 2014 #92

I think The definition is a good point JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #153

And I'd say he was a hipster. justiceischeap Sep 2014 #154

Naaah! :-) JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #158

To me it is a judgment about intellectual engagement. Skidmore Sep 2014 #93

I don't think there are any dogmatic half-wits reveling in the inaccurate belief that nerd is gender LanternWaste Sep 2014 #94

"Nerdy men" is very obviously gender-specific. Marr Sep 2014 #115

"Men" is gender specific. "Nerdy" isn't. cyberswede Sep 2014 #121

I live in the Silicon Valley, where nerdy men are the Masters of the Universe (TM) YoungDemCA Sep 2014 #95

"Nerd" is no longer a perjoritive. ismnotwasm Sep 2014 #98

Geek is a compliment, DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #108

In the adult world yes, but among kids it's still very often a pejorative term Hippo_Tron Sep 2014 #133

I was picked on and beaten up more than once for being a "nerd" Puzzledtraveller Sep 2014 #99

I don't like macho men at all, so for me "nerd" has the connotation of Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #100

I have a crush on the Indian tech guy on one of those phone commercials. liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #102

That jumped out at me, too. It's oddly hypocritical to complain about Marr Sep 2014 #109

From the article I'm assuming you didn't read. el_bryanto Sep 2014 #116

What is this, Nonsequitur Theater? Marr Sep 2014 #118

You are choosing to focus on one small part of the article to avoid having to deal with the real el_bryanto Sep 2014 #120

I'm addressing the OP's topic. Marr Sep 2014 #122

Yes you are right I suppose i should address my comments to the OP el_bryanto Sep 2014 #123

I disagree. cyberswede Sep 2014 #119

But she didn't say 'game-culture men'. Marr Sep 2014 #125

I don't think anyone said the author of the article used it as a compliment. cyberswede Sep 2014 #128

I think the folks in the thread are mainly disagreeing with the author, which is a good thing. MerryBlooms Sep 2014 #129

I'm not ticked off at that. Marr Sep 2014 #135

let's just all stop talking altogether... lame54 Sep 2014 #110

Upon reflection I was too gentle when I first read this chickenshit response el_bryanto Sep 2014 #124

I agree that we should gently encourage all to stand up to harassment, but by calling them liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #134

I'm sorry for your life experience - but I'm not calling nerds cowardly el_bryanto Sep 2014 #148

I absolutely agree A Little Weird Sep 2014 #156

another point i wanted to make. it is about culling a pak and finding a victim. seabeyond Sep 2014 #162

it's simple: it's anti-intellectualism unblock Sep 2014 #127

I, virtually all of my male friends, and most of my female friends, proudly self-identify as nerds. Donald Ian Rankin Sep 2014 #132

I find nerdy men sexy daredtowork Sep 2014 #137

Real "nerds" don't care about sex Shankapotomus Sep 2014 #138

Usually, DU never accepts the redefinition of a word... LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #144

What double standard? Females can be as nerdy as males. merrily Sep 2014 #151

another point: most of our media, society, social entertainment directed at and focused on seabeyond Sep 2014 #163

The times have changed One_Life_To_Give Sep 2014 #165

The meaning of "nerd" has evolved a bit since that movie. Orsino Sep 2014 #169

"Nerd" is just a term used by uninteresting people to denigrate those who demonstrate Maedhros Sep 2014 #178

You know what Bonobo? You need to start watching movies made after 1985. CreekDog Sep 2014 #179

NDT is a good looking dude. And was an athlete. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #185

I'm a nerd, but in the other thread... NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #189

This message was self-deleted by its author radicalliberal Nov 2014 #190