General Discussion

HereSince1628

(36,063 posts)

5. Corporal punishment is about establishing dominance by pain and/or threat of pain

Wed Sep 24, 2014, 07:47 AM

Sep 2014

When we look at impropriety of interpersonal relationships, coercive dominance/power and abuse of power is always a metric.

It says something about us and the meaning of our "family values culture" that we still give passing assent to: "Just like my parents with me, I can't make convincing arguments to my kid(s) about right and wrong, but, on threat of pain, I will make them respect my authority."

And we grow up fine, supporting militarized police forces, with the discards of the largest, perhaps most "kinetic" military in the world.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

67 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Spankings are not discipline "Spanking is a sex act" Jillian Keenan at The Slate [View all] intaglio Sep 2014 OP

So is kissing and hugging, but that doesn't mean its sexual when a parent hugs or kisses his/her kid aikoaiko Sep 2014 #1

whole heartedly agree. cali Sep 2014 #3

I've never known anyone who uses kisses and hugs as punishment kcr Sep 2014 #6

The case argued in the article is that it doesn't matter if its done for punishment. aikoaiko Sep 2014 #7

Who spanks their kids for fun? n/t kcr Sep 2014 #8

Back in the day, it was almost an Olympic sport NickB79 Sep 2014 #20

Maybe, but I doubt it was a fun activity for the kids. kcr Sep 2014 #24

Rice's 4 year old said his dad has a "whoopin' room." That seems sick to me. n/t pnwmom Sep 2014 #53

It sure doesn't sound like it was used for hugs and kisses, does it? kcr Sep 2014 #55

I think it's because the vast majority of Americans spank their kids pnwmom Sep 2014 #56

I never understood why some people got thrills Stellar Sep 2014 #45

Agree. The line of reasoning is bullshit. ancianita Sep 2014 #17

+1 Johonny Sep 2014 #21

+1 LittleBlue Sep 2014 #23

It depends. If a parent French-kissed his child, it would be sexual and unacceptable. pnwmom Sep 2014 #25

Heck, I'm grossed out by parents and children kissing on the lips. moriah Sep 2014 #61

I don't do it either. pnwmom Sep 2014 #63

It's still a form of affection. Not the polar opposite when done with kids vs adults. NYC Liberal Sep 2014 #57

Um, if you and your husband consider it 'somewhat pedophilic' when you Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #2

Try reading the post in Slate intaglio Sep 2014 #30

It is an excerpt from an article on Slate, not something the OP wrote. nt tblue37 Sep 2014 #47

I thought spanking as described in the porn threads here was a violent asssault on a woman Blue_Adept Sep 2014 #4

shocker: people here have varied opinions cali Sep 2014 #9

Women spank men too. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #10

I had brought that up back then as well Blue_Adept Sep 2014 #12

I contest your claim that the DU consensus is cali Sep 2014 #13

The consensus, most definitely, is that it is not-- as long as it's consensual & btw adults. Warren DeMontague Sep 2014 #66

I don't get into it personally. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #14

Corporal punishment is about establishing dominance by pain and/or threat of pain HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #5

Bull... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #54

"corporal punishment is the only what to get your point across..." HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #58

That life is... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #59

Ok, so can you provide the peer reviewed professional paper HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #60

I'm totally against spanking kids. NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #11

I don't buy it... ljm2002 Sep 2014 #15

'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar' leftstreet Sep 2014 #18

Touché... ljm2002 Sep 2014 #19

It's not that it's analogous to sexual playing. It's that the physical act of spanking pnwmom Sep 2014 #26

Welp, I don't spank my kid, but... Adrahil Sep 2014 #16

Well that was dumb Egnever Sep 2014 #22

No, it's common sense. The same act that can sexually stimulate some adults pnwmom Sep 2014 #27

No it is not science, psychology, sexology, or common sense. TM99 Sep 2014 #34

Actually, you are also incorrect about children not being stimulated during molestation. pnwmom Sep 2014 #36

I am not. TM99 Sep 2014 #40

Are you aware that some parents even spank 10 year olds? pnwmom Sep 2014 #41

My training is quite sufficient. TM99 Sep 2014 #44

If a 10 year old has been spanked from an earlier age, that doesn't immunize the 10 year old pnwmom Sep 2014 #46

That's the point. TM99 Sep 2014 #48

You are putting words into my mouth. pnwmom Sep 2014 #49

Hardly. TM99 Sep 2014 #50

I think it is better to defend the truth at the core of the OP, despite its strident title, pnwmom Sep 2014 #51

There is zero truth at the core of this TM99 Sep 2014 #65

So kicking a man in his wedding tackle must also be a sex act? riqster Sep 2014 #28

For some, it is. Google "CBT". moriah Sep 2014 #31

I know-friends are into that. Not my cuppa tea, but hey, consenting adults. riqster Sep 2014 #32

The science in the Slate article I thnk you're referring to is very bad. moriah Sep 2014 #29

Children are small. How do you know that that area you mention couldn't be stimulated pnwmom Sep 2014 #37

As I said before, I wasn't paddled or spanked as a kid -- I was switched. moriah Sep 2014 #39

OMG. How stupid. closeupready Sep 2014 #33

One of those obviously daft statements that hint at too much time spent in echo chambers. Donald Ian Rankin Sep 2014 #35

It's not obviously dafty to the researchers who've studied it. pnwmom Sep 2014 #38

Jillian Keenan has ...issues 951-Riverside Sep 2014 #42

"Until YOU feel better." Tierra_y_Libertad Sep 2014 #43

Thats moronic... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #52

If boobs and butts are inseparably sexual... LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #62

Might be a winning argument ... GeorgeGist Sep 2014 #64

I think spanking your kids for discipline is indicative of crappy, lazy parenting generally Warren DeMontague Sep 2014 #67