General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

187. you are not THAT much younger than me

Fri Sep 26, 2014, 03:03 AM

Sep 2014

And really, they don't come in all genders, at least not in medium to small schools, and not in my day.

My own school, for example, with 256 graduates, 7 of us graduated with highest honors - 4 girls, 3 boys. The boys being, the aforementioned Dan, Kurt and myself.

As for the girls. There was Donna, a queen candidate. Nah, we could only dream of Donna. Anyway, she didn't take any math or science classes. And Kathleen was a preppy cute girl. Linda hung out with the party girls. Jane would be a nerd, but even Jane only took chemistry and not advanced chemistry.

Smart girls, but not nerds, except for Jane, and I think Jane never married. (also never came back to a reunion).

And you may note that there are a number of guys disagreeing with your optimism. It wasn't their experience either.

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"Nerdy men" and the double standard it represents. [View all] Bonobo Sep 2014 OP

Nerdy women exist, so your entire argument is stupid. nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #1

Of course it is. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #2

Good. You agree. CreekDog Sep 2014 #180

This. Starry Messenger Sep 2014 #3

When girls are called "nerdy", is there sexuality being denied? nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #5

I don't think anyone's (boy or girl) sexuality is being denied with the descriptor "nerdy." cyberswede Sep 2014 #10

No. Men's isn't either. Amazingly enough they're usually sexing on other nerds. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #12

that's not the way I remember it hfojvt Sep 2014 #103

What does how you remember something have to do with how something actually is right now? CreekDog Sep 2014 #181

I sort of have actual experience being a nerd hfojvt Sep 2014 #182

So do I, and it's newer data. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #184

you are not THAT much younger than me hfojvt Sep 2014 #187

Really? DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #107

What happened at Academic Decathalon stayed at Academic Decathalon. nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #139

this is false uponit7771 Sep 2014 #173

WTF? Cali_Democrat Sep 2014 #35

Geez! He's reaching there. smirkymonkey Sep 2014 #174

Of course it is treestar Sep 2014 #131

That entirely... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #140

No, and it is often viewed as a positive. Hosnon Sep 2014 #170

Girls aren't expected... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #105

Girls are expected to be "feminine" and socially adept. MadrasT Sep 2014 #145

As a girl in school, I got mocked for not being athletically capable merrily Sep 2014 #152

I dreaded PE classes because I was skinny and weak betsuni Sep 2014 #155

i am so so sorry. i see it here. even the popular kids? i assure you they have their cross they seabeyond Sep 2014 #160

Ah, no, I'm old -- I'll be 54 next month, water under the bridge. betsuni Sep 2014 #164

water under the bridge. it is surprising how many hittin 50's relive that period. seabeyond Sep 2014 #167

You expected to play team sports? Combat sports etc? Physically attacked... DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #157

Yes to several of those questions. merrily Sep 2014 #172

Girls are expected to be physically perfect and are berated mercilessly when they are not. smokey nj Sep 2014 #159

I was not uninterested in sports hfojvt Sep 2014 #188

both my boys call themselves nerds and neither think they are "unmanly" so i will disagree with you. seabeyond Sep 2014 #4

Self-identifying is not the same as labeling other people. Bonobo Sep 2014 #7

ah. didnt get the answer you want so you throw in a twist. no, the kids i seabeyond Sep 2014 #9

From the linked article... Bonobo Sep 2014 #11

Does one person's generalization = everyone's definition? cyberswede Sep 2014 #15

No, but it does make it a potential topic for discussion. Bonobo Sep 2014 #17

no. you tried a gotcha that failed. seabeyond Sep 2014 #20

You are WAY to keyed up to viewing everything as a fight to the death, you know that? Bonobo Sep 2014 #22

no, i do not know that. and just cause you decide does not make it so either. seabeyond Sep 2014 #25

The replies in this thread demonstrate that you are having a discussion. cyberswede Sep 2014 #28

Ok, that's fine. Bonobo Sep 2014 #31

you OP is a DEMAND and even at that, it is an incorrect demand. people are not going to cotton to seabeyond Sep 2014 #33

It is INTERESTING that you projected a "demand" onto the OP. There was none. Bonobo Sep 2014 #37

then tell me it isn't NOT a commonly accepted form of shaming for not being manly enough. seabeyond Sep 2014 #38

I think it's pretty clear your premise of a double standard is nonexistent, in this case. cyberswede Sep 2014 #40

No big deal Bonobo Sep 2014 #42

On DU usually! whistler162 Sep 2014 #142

Another Possible Explanation AndyTiedye Sep 2014 #150

point. this is what i was going ot mention last night. not a nerd or frat or sports world seabeyond Sep 2014 #161

thats nonsense. GeorgeGist Sep 2014 #149

yup, same experience, guys and girls i know have called themselves and others Nerds and it was JI7 Sep 2014 #14

have called the President a Nerd. seabeyond Sep 2014 #19

exactly, it's been embraced , i get called a nerd for always reading JI7 Sep 2014 #24

Definitely being embraced. jen63 Sep 2014 #39

My experiences in grade school, which were mostly in the 90s, ran directly counter to this. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #75

i did read. there are always kids that are picked on. you were one. i am sorry. seabeyond Sep 2014 #77

Thank you, I really appreciate it. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #78

you are welcome. and i am so glad that you state.... seabeyond Sep 2014 #80

Very true JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #53

Well, apparently you didn't read the article ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #69

like there is not a misogynist problem in the jock world, too. or the frat bros or seabeyond Sep 2014 #70

Oh, no, apparently nerds are the worst ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #72

you get the exact same when talking about rice beating his gf, or frats druggie and raping girls seabeyond Sep 2014 #73

That's how I see it. But the sky must be polka dot. Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #141

Seabeyond, I think it's a wonderful thing that your boys can proudly call themselves nerds Hippo_Tron Sep 2014 #130

i have thought about your question, since last night. it is important. and it is not easy or seabeyond Sep 2014 #166

I don't consider "nerdy" to be unmanly. cyberswede Sep 2014 #6

Nerdiness does not connote insufficient manliness The Velveteen Ocelot Sep 2014 #8

"so much as" Bonobo Sep 2014 #13

It usually means "socially inept", not "unmanly". Spider Jerusalem Sep 2014 #16

A nerdy guy, brainy and good looking, Control-Z Sep 2014 #18

this. exactly. i was trying ot explain it above. this is much better. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #23

I got myself one of those. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #27

my sister in law called my husband a dork jokingly. I told him he was not a dork. He is an engineer liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #43

geek is another fav. bush i thought a dork, but took him to doofus. nt seabeyond Sep 2014 #44

maybe the fact that if he is "good looking" hfojvt Sep 2014 #97

You are missing the point. Not all good looking men are sexy. Control-Z Sep 2014 #104

no, I caught the point hfojvt Sep 2014 #106

Yup, as long as he has minimal social skills Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #101

Women are nerds too. for fucks sake, it means you are smart. and not pathetically mainstream. bettyellen Sep 2014 #21

Bingo Populist_Prole Sep 2014 #46

+1000 smirkymonkey Sep 2014 #176

My god, that's even more insulting. Marr Sep 2014 #111

That may be the way this author intended it, but it's not the way everyone uses the term. cyberswede Sep 2014 #114

Oh, I think the article is crappy. I think it is talking about a subset of assholes online that has bettyellen Sep 2014 #168

No argument there. Marr Sep 2014 #175

seems to me you could have written a more insightful article! I just thought holding the article up bettyellen Sep 2014 #177

It probably is a stretch. Marr Sep 2014 #183

no worries! I'm still not exactly sure why what I said initially bothered you, but you realized I bettyellen Sep 2014 #186

I believe "nerd" is a negative judgment in some peoples' minds. Manifestor_of_Light Sep 2014 #26

my fourteen y/o nephew thinks being a nerd is uncool but, he is outgrowing Tuesday Afternoon Sep 2014 #29

Not everything is about you. Warpy Sep 2014 #30

I don' think it's about me either. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #32

"...a group of men who have been judged inferior by other men, not by women." cyberswede Sep 2014 #41

nerd always meant socially awkward to me and/or brainy. KittyWampus Sep 2014 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author MannyGoldstein Sep 2014 #36

Yeah laundry_queen Sep 2014 #45

the word is no longer derogatory because popular kids like to call themselves nerdy even when they liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #47

I don't think it's just that laundry_queen Sep 2014 #50

I'm glad it doesn't happen often, but I seriously doubt it never happens. Humans are humans and liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #51

Nerdiness is no longer uncool like it used to be bluestateguy Sep 2014 #48

I have to wonder if physical size has anything to do with it. My husband's nephew is quite a bit liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #49

Smart people consider the words "nerds" and "geeks" to be compliments. pnwmom Sep 2014 #52

I have always found them attractive get the red out Sep 2014 #54

It is simply another attempt Sherman A1 Sep 2014 #55

OMG trumad Sep 2014 #56

Actually, Tru. . . ProfessorGAC Sep 2014 #113

I thought "nerdy" was a synonym for "smart". redruddyred Sep 2014 #57

Well it denotes a bit more than that. Adrahil Sep 2014 #79

"Nerds" are sexy as hell to some people. It's a descriptor of a personality type, not an insult. n/t MadrasT Sep 2014 #58

Bonobo I agree completely. Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #59

Very good. H2O Man Sep 2014 #68

+1 Marr Sep 2014 #112

In honor of all who are "wrong in all the right ways" ~ Zorra Sep 2014 #126

Great post, Threedifferentones. Kermitt Gribble Sep 2014 #136

Bingo. nt. Hosnon Sep 2014 #171

Maybe "nerd" or "geek" had magical powers back in the 90s for Charisma Man betsuni Sep 2014 #60

You could drown in that sea of bitterness. nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #63

The creators of Charisma Man are all men -- you didn't know that? betsuni Sep 2014 #82

You an English teacher? nt Bonobo Sep 2014 #88

I consider myself a nerd hag eridani Sep 2014 #61

I think that nerdy Dorian Gray Sep 2014 #62

A nerd, male or female, LWolf Sep 2014 #64

OK, it is NOT a commonly accepted form of shaming for not being manly enough. Phentex Sep 2014 #65

Maybe not anymore, but if so that is a recent change, and one perhaps analguous to gay people or AAs Threedifferentones Sep 2014 #74

Is the comic in question from a decade ago? Phentex Sep 2014 #96

Legalize it Bonobo Sep 2014 #66

Nerdy in that context was absolutely used as a pejorative ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #67

Well - I think it's pretty striaghtforward el_bryanto Sep 2014 #71

Well, being a "nerd" isn't the stigma it used to be. Adrahil Sep 2014 #76

Times have changed, now nerds are seen in a different light tularetom Sep 2014 #81

That's silly. Being a nerd is not confined just to men. MineralMan Sep 2014 #83

Band nerds unite! MadrasT Sep 2014 #146

I don't know. What's currently the highest rated sitcom on TV? Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #84

i love my sheldon. i feel like sheldons mom toward my oldest son. seabeyond Sep 2014 #85

That has to be my favorite scene in the whole series. nt Tommy_Carcetti Sep 2014 #87

or another fav... seabeyond Sep 2014 #86

Sheldon! MadrasT Sep 2014 #147

That blog was stupid I was hoping it would die a quick death :) snooper2 Sep 2014 #89

Well, this is what an entire generation grew up thinking nerds were NickB79 Sep 2014 #90

Yea GummyBearz Sep 2014 #143

I married my nerd, before "nerd" was popular TexasMommaWithAHat Sep 2014 #91

so did i. mopinko Sep 2014 #117

Some context to the article that's linked to in your OP justiceischeap Sep 2014 #92

I think The definition is a good point JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #153

And I'd say he was a hipster. justiceischeap Sep 2014 #154

Naaah! :-) JustAnotherGen Sep 2014 #158

To me it is a judgment about intellectual engagement. Skidmore Sep 2014 #93

I don't think there are any dogmatic half-wits reveling in the inaccurate belief that nerd is gender LanternWaste Sep 2014 #94

"Nerdy men" is very obviously gender-specific. Marr Sep 2014 #115

"Men" is gender specific. "Nerdy" isn't. cyberswede Sep 2014 #121

I live in the Silicon Valley, where nerdy men are the Masters of the Universe (TM) YoungDemCA Sep 2014 #95

"Nerd" is no longer a perjoritive. ismnotwasm Sep 2014 #98

Geek is a compliment, DavidG_WI Sep 2014 #108

In the adult world yes, but among kids it's still very often a pejorative term Hippo_Tron Sep 2014 #133

I was picked on and beaten up more than once for being a "nerd" Puzzledtraveller Sep 2014 #99

I don't like macho men at all, so for me "nerd" has the connotation of Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #100

I have a crush on the Indian tech guy on one of those phone commercials. liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #102

That jumped out at me, too. It's oddly hypocritical to complain about Marr Sep 2014 #109

From the article I'm assuming you didn't read. el_bryanto Sep 2014 #116

What is this, Nonsequitur Theater? Marr Sep 2014 #118

You are choosing to focus on one small part of the article to avoid having to deal with the real el_bryanto Sep 2014 #120

I'm addressing the OP's topic. Marr Sep 2014 #122

Yes you are right I suppose i should address my comments to the OP el_bryanto Sep 2014 #123

I disagree. cyberswede Sep 2014 #119

But she didn't say 'game-culture men'. Marr Sep 2014 #125

I don't think anyone said the author of the article used it as a compliment. cyberswede Sep 2014 #128

I think the folks in the thread are mainly disagreeing with the author, which is a good thing. MerryBlooms Sep 2014 #129

I'm not ticked off at that. Marr Sep 2014 #135

let's just all stop talking altogether... lame54 Sep 2014 #110

Upon reflection I was too gentle when I first read this chickenshit response el_bryanto Sep 2014 #124

I agree that we should gently encourage all to stand up to harassment, but by calling them liberal_at_heart Sep 2014 #134

I'm sorry for your life experience - but I'm not calling nerds cowardly el_bryanto Sep 2014 #148

I absolutely agree A Little Weird Sep 2014 #156

another point i wanted to make. it is about culling a pak and finding a victim. seabeyond Sep 2014 #162

it's simple: it's anti-intellectualism unblock Sep 2014 #127

I, virtually all of my male friends, and most of my female friends, proudly self-identify as nerds. Donald Ian Rankin Sep 2014 #132

I find nerdy men sexy daredtowork Sep 2014 #137

Real "nerds" don't care about sex Shankapotomus Sep 2014 #138

Usually, DU never accepts the redefinition of a word... LostInAnomie Sep 2014 #144

What double standard? Females can be as nerdy as males. merrily Sep 2014 #151

another point: most of our media, society, social entertainment directed at and focused on seabeyond Sep 2014 #163

The times have changed One_Life_To_Give Sep 2014 #165

The meaning of "nerd" has evolved a bit since that movie. Orsino Sep 2014 #169

"Nerd" is just a term used by uninteresting people to denigrate those who demonstrate Maedhros Sep 2014 #178

You know what Bonobo? You need to start watching movies made after 1985. CreekDog Sep 2014 #179

NDT is a good looking dude. And was an athlete. LeftyMom Sep 2014 #185

I'm a nerd, but in the other thread... NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #189

This message was self-deleted by its author radicalliberal Nov 2014 #190