I don't really know why I posted it but I felt I had to given all the issues out there regarding women, college, and rape. I'm not a hero and I'm not sure how I managed to compartmentalize it, but I did. Not all rapes are brutal -- as seen on TV -- scenes. Many more are like mine -- just happen.
It happened 30+ years ago, it's over, he's the idiot, and I survived AND THRIVED (and found out I'm making 3x more than he is so yes, that shallow bit of information makes me feel better). I don't want him in jail because that would have just made things worse. I wanted to finish college and start a life. The episode is a part of me, and I choose to use it as a better part of me. Trust me -- much worse things -- emotionally abusive things -- came from my parents and brother. Those scars are the hardest and never really heal.
But one point I really wanted to answer -- why didn't I have sex with him willingly? I didn't want to! I was waiting for my wedding night and he knew that -- he knew my religious affiliation. And no, we didn't get "hot and heavy" -- kissing with NO FONDLING (other than holding hands) was all that ever happened. I will NOT excuse him for "getting hot and bothered" and expecting me to go through with it. There are other means. And why should I be responsible for that? Where is HIS responsibility? Perhaps I should start a campaign: NO MEANS NO (and F#@($#@$( Rush Limp-balls!!)
Where I place the fault is society. They make the victim (woman OR man) to be a double-victim. STOP IT. I wouldn't even compare us to animals because I believe animals have a better sense of "morality" and "honor" than the human animal. And again, it's the false accusations that piss me off the most. That taints the glass for the rest of us.
Thank you for listening and the DU-style lovein'.
Paula
= new reply since forum marked as read