An Oklahoman Apologizes for Oklahoma's Politicians [View all]

[William769]

Dear Americans,

On behalf of the great state of Oklahoma I want to take this opportunity to apologize. Wednesday evening, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart interviewed our Senator Ralph Shorty, the architect of the Oklahoma Personhood bill intended to declare a fertilized egg a person. Shorty explained that he couldn't add Senator Constance Johnson's "Every Sperm is Sacred" Amendment to his bill controlling women's bodies, because her amendment was an effort to control men's bodies. Senator Shorty will control women's bodies, but control of men's bodies Is. Not. Allowed. I promise you not all of our elected officials are this hypocritical, and most Oklahomans absolutely are not.

While I'm at it, I also want to apologize for all those oil companies encouraging Sen. Inhofe to declare global climate change is fake. You see, Oklahoma is where the oil comes from. We horde it like dominated squirrels so when we suck the Middle East dry everyone at home becomes a billionaire. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I'm so, so sorry about Senator Sally Kern. I really don't know what her problem is. She just seems to hate it when people are happy. I would psychoanalyze her, but she's blocked me from asking these questions on Twitter. To be fair, though, she's originally from Arkansas, so maybe that's what it is.

I apologize to Arkansas for that last remark. You're not any better or worse.

http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/article/2012/04/13/on-behalf-oklahoma-politicians-an-apology