General Discussion

Capt. Obvious

(9,002 posts) Fri Oct 3, 2014, 10:07 AM Oct 2014

Police: Worker Hid $1,200 Worth Of Meat In His Pants [View all]

CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. (AP) — A New York supermarket employee has been accused of leaving the store with $1,200 worth of meat hidden in his pants.

State police say Gregory Rodriguez, of Ossining, is charged with fourth-degree grand larceny.

Rodriguez works at the A&P in Croton-on-Hudson. Police were called Monday about the theft. Rodriguez was arrested Tuesday.

A state police spokeswoman, Trooper Melissa McMorris, says the theft occurred in one day. She did not know if it involved more than one trip to the store.

Rodriguez was arraigned Tuesday night in Cortlandt and sent to the Westchester County Jail. The court clerk says no lawyer was present and no plea was entered.

TPM

I look forward to the many puns and double entendres to come.

105 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Police: Worker Hid $1,200 Worth Of Meat In His Pants [View all] Capt. Obvious Oct 2014 OP

So many opportunities for humor in this... MineralMan Oct 2014 #1

Is that a boneless rib-eye in your pants? frazzled Oct 2014 #2

He better get a lawyer. The steaks are too high! Beakybird Oct 2014 #3

LOL..... sendero Oct 2014 #21

The steaks seem rather too low for my money alcibiades_mystery Oct 2014 #59

Now you're really hitting below the belt pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #72

Captain Obvious� the jokes off the headline are too�. obvious. KittyWampus Oct 2014 #4

He thought the job came with porks; sadly, he was misteaken. pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #5

You always give a good ribbing. pintobean Oct 2014 #9

I loined it in my tenderized youth pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #34

You're not being a ham. pintobean Oct 2014 #48

I am always at your serving--just shine the bratsignal pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #67

I wonder if he'll be served with a garnish after he's grilled. adirondacker Oct 2014 #6

This guy? Tierra_y_Libertad Oct 2014 #7

You win!! n/t Whiskeytide Oct 2014 #13

Is that cod piece from the fish department? Sancho Oct 2014 #55

He shoulda dressed up as Lady Gaga. Rozlee Oct 2014 #8

Like a meat-and-greet Spirochete Oct 2014 #23

* Rozlee Oct 2014 #24

How much meat did he walk INTO the store with? Barack_America Oct 2014 #10

"Is that a porterhouse in your pants or are you happy to see me?" nt stevenleser Oct 2014 #11

Huh? ProfessorGAC Oct 2014 #12

All the theft occurred on one day, but not necessarily on one trip (per OP excerpt). nt pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #14

I Saw That, But. . . ProfessorGAC Oct 2014 #16

inflation pintobean Oct 2014 #15

Prime beef was going for $45/lb the last time I got up kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #28

No Way! ProfessorGAC Oct 2014 #33

Oh yeah. High prices for any animal flesh played a big role in my going mostly vegan of late. kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #70

I can buy lancer78 Oct 2014 #99

In that case... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #102

I don't know, a 3 lb package of ground chuck is running about $15.00 these days notadmblnd Oct 2014 #61

If your ground chuck is still running, you may want to shop at a different store pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #71

He'll fry for this pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #17

That must have been some malaise Oct 2014 #18

Hauled him off in the patty wagon Blue Owl Oct 2014 #19

Well done! pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #36

A rare compliment from pinboy3niner. randome Oct 2014 #37

I don't mind being outflanked... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #38

Due, no doubt, to your gristly personality. randome Oct 2014 #40

That's an offal thing to say pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #42

A sizzling wit, you are! randome Oct 2014 #43

I herd a good chuckle can braise your spirits, so I appreciate a gaggle now and then... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #47

A good chuckle, yes... But a ground chuckle, no... Blue Owl Oct 2014 #65

Such tripe! n/t Aerows Oct 2014 #81

I think we have the new name for a Sunday Talk Show, Meat in his Pants. MohRokTah Oct 2014 #20

Meet the Meat. randome Oct 2014 #45

He had a tender loin. lpbk2713 Oct 2014 #22

Depending upon the store, mutt'n pants or mutton pants. lonestarnot Oct 2014 #25

He exceeded the maximum of one package per pair of pants pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #82

I assume he was strip searched. scarletwoman Oct 2014 #83

They even checked his skirts pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #84

Oh no! Did they filet him up as well? scarletwoman Oct 2014 #85

Well, the horny perverts put him into a private room and got pretty fresh... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #87

Were they checking to see how well he was marbled? scarletwoman Oct 2014 #89

His USDA stamp would tip them off pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #90

So, the rest was just gravy. scarletwoman Oct 2014 #91

It's a marrow distinction but that's aboat the size of it pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #92

Ah. Shanks for that. scarletwoman Oct 2014 #93

Sir, yer loins are hang'n. lonestarnot Oct 2014 #104

Any wieners? 840high Oct 2014 #26

He was a pretty high end gigolo, I guess........ kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #27

Well done, A&P security staff NBachers Oct 2014 #29

A 1%er. Most of us guys only have a couple of bucks worth in our pants. Kaleva Oct 2014 #30

1200 dollars? Rod Beauvex Oct 2014 #31

Where's the Beef?! GReedDiamond Oct 2014 #32

And now for the gross one. randome Oct 2014 #35

Is that a sausage in your pants or are you happy to see me? davidpdx Oct 2014 #39

Maybe both were true. randome Oct 2014 #41

Trooper Melissa McMorris described the growing investigation... Sancho Oct 2014 #44

Further investigation revealed that the suspect was covered in tattoos. randome Oct 2014 #46

That's a veritable stampede of ink pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #49

That doesn't sound right meow2u3 Oct 2014 #50

Gives "Fruit of the Loom" a whole new meaning pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #51

Home of the Whopper PeoViejo Oct 2014 #63

He never sausage an opportunity before he got a job at A&P. nt pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #64

... PeoViejo Oct 2014 #78

K&R to help put this on the Greatest :) pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #52

Looks like he's roast treestar Oct 2014 #53

Not a good sign when your sentence begins, "Marinate overnight and dredge in flour..." pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #56

He was too chicken to try to steal that amount in poultry treestar Oct 2014 #58

Well, duh! He was eradicating cowmunism... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #96

The evidence was lean. But they had a prime suspect so they beefed up security. GreatCaesarsGhost Oct 2014 #54

They grilled him, but he just clammed up and wouldn't talk turkey to the pigs. nt pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #62

He wasn't in the mooed to be cowed. His tongue would tell no tail. GreatCaesarsGhost Oct 2014 #66

The now ubiquitous identity: "worker." woo me with science Oct 2014 #57

He was charged with a strip in New York! Sancho Oct 2014 #60

Update: thief escapes arrest, is now on the lamb Blue Owl Oct 2014 #68

Roundup the usual suspects! pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #69

When told he was being charged with a felony rather than a misdemeanor, a small smile emerged. rug Oct 2014 #73

A cucumber would have been cheaper NoGOPZone Oct 2014 #74

But the look he was going for was tri-tip pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #75

The moyel slipped? Hekate Oct 2014 #100

Funny story about the origin of the word 'brisket'... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #101

And now he's in the penile system Mister Nightowl Oct 2014 #76

UPDATE: The prisoner escaped... pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #77

Sounds like he had a beef with the store. SummerSnow Oct 2014 #79

As the song says, "Don't do the prime if you can't do the time, don't do it..." pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #80

This thread needs more cowbell. GreatCaesarsGhost Oct 2014 #86

this gives new meaning to the term Bombero1956 Oct 2014 #88

Last week, Letterman had almost as much fun with this story as Pinboy countryjake Oct 2014 #94

Busted, LOL! Did you really expect me to resist a LOLcattle thread? :) pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #95

I thought of you the very first night he had the "choplifter" in his monologue... countryjake Oct 2014 #103

He's hoping to get off, or get a light sentence, claiming it was all Bottom Round pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #105

Cops had to round him up at his other address because he mooved. nt pinboy3niner Oct 2014 #97

That's what they all say. WinkyDink Oct 2014 #98