General Discussion

jeff47

(26,549 posts)

80. She is. So what?

Fri Oct 3, 2014, 12:48 PM

Oct 2014

Mistakes happen. My aunt is one - my grandmother thought she was no longer fertile.

Being a mistake is not the same as being inferior or unwanted.

The company screwed up. The way the company is held accountable in our society is via lawsuit.

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The little girl whose birth brought "anger, disappointment and fear" [View all] Liberal_in_LA Oct 2014 OP

What a cute little girl gopiscrap Oct 2014 #1

Her mothers love her. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #3

i just find the whole thing a turn off JI7 Oct 2014 #5

I suppose you'd be thrilled... TeeYiYi Oct 2014 #7

i don't view people in the same way as things , and i know children can be born JI7 Oct 2014 #11

Nor do I... TeeYiYi Oct 2014 #12

but they aren't just holding hte corporation responsible JI7 Oct 2014 #13

Is it really the mothers (gay couple) being racist?... TeeYiYi Oct 2014 #15

You seem to be offering apology after apology Trajan Oct 2014 #16

Oooohhh... TeeYiYi Oct 2014 #18

...^ that 840high Oct 2014 #179

You aren't accounting for the care with which women make their decisions pnwmom Oct 2014 #17

Can we stop comparing human life to inanimate material goods? Blue_Tires Oct 2014 #111

People of color, unfortunately, are treated differently because of how they look Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #8

i am a person of color JI7 Oct 2014 #10

Were you raised by white parents? Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #14

they are upset about losing racist friends JI7 Oct 2014 #22

There is nothing in the article which suggests that. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #51

Yeah, and people make the same argument for why lesbians and gays should not have children BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #26

Right, because jobs and houses are so easy to come by. Neoma Oct 2014 #39

I suggest you spend some time Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #49

You obviously didn't read my response downthread BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #92

I think it is funny when people think anecdotes replace stats. joeglow3 Oct 2014 #95

Are you fucking kidding me? BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #102

You position is actually an extension of mine joeglow3 Oct 2014 #105

*She IS their daughter,* no amount of complaining will make her disappear BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #109

You are absolutely correct. Kudos. kwassa Oct 2014 #142

You're right - I didn't. You jumped into the middle of a conversation Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #133

FWIW I don't normally share personal details about myself on the internet BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #136

Mixed feelings - but hate the idea that they should seek financial remuneration karynnj Oct 2014 #43

+1 Blue_Tires Oct 2014 #110

There it is. BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #138

I have serious doubts about them. I heard one say that they were snagglepuss Oct 2014 #126

Are you equally troubled when non-white children raised by white parents Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #131

Apples and oranges. We are discussing the viewpoint of a mature adult not a child. snagglepuss Oct 2014 #132

It is actually primarily the viewpoint of the child that that the women have been talking about Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #134

It is not the viewpoint of the child at all. It is their own selfishness and insensitivity. kwassa Oct 2014 #147

The issue is not how to love and take care of a biracial child. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #163

White people problems. kwassa Oct 2014 #171

That's what my parents thought, as well (not so hard), Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #174

It is also a very different world that when you and your siblings grew up. kwassa Oct 2014 #175

Cute? She's a Heartbreaker; Adorable. nt Xipe Totec Oct 2014 #4

Honestly, being white parents to a child of color can bring a lot of challenges people aren't ready Brickbat Oct 2014 #2

I wasn't prepared for the fear part of having mixed children Kalidurga Oct 2014 #6

Yup. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #9

gay people don't experience discrimination ? gay kids usually have straight parents JI7 Oct 2014 #23

Doomed for life - no Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #47

Mmmm hmmmm! MADem Oct 2014 #121

This whole idea that being bi-racial is some kind of disease, some kind of problem BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #19

+ like, a freaking million Number23 Oct 2014 #20

"It's white yuppie entitlement and it is as low as it goes" JI7 Oct 2014 #24

And I have no sympathy for anyone but the little girl BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #27

+1000 smirkymonkey Oct 2014 #30

I agree Renew Deal Oct 2014 #41

Well said. LittleBlue Oct 2014 #70

Exactly! BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #101

Another fantastic post. Hopefully your attemps to educate have some success Number23 Oct 2014 #139

You are so right BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #144

And I'd be RIGHT there with you, brother Number23 Oct 2014 #148

"...acting like she's half alien." That's it, in a nutshell. n/t Gormy Cuss Oct 2014 #154

Thank you for this post JustAnotherGen Oct 2014 #88

Wow! gollygee Oct 2014 #100

+1 Blue_Tires Oct 2014 #112

plus 1 billion Liberal_in_LA Oct 2014 #114

I'm sorry to be all over your thread BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #184

Using a sperm bank is an item where women do get to look and choose as best they can glowing Oct 2014 #116

I have no problem with the lawsuit based on the fact that the clinic screwed up BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #135

I can't say that she didn't have those initial reactions to the idea of raising a child bi-racial glowing Oct 2014 #137

What you are saying is what we hope all parents who truly loved their children would say BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #140

If she is a gay woman with a daughter, how did she get that daughter? kwassa Oct 2014 #145

Yes, wouldn't it be ironic if some of her neighbors or her friends did interviews BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #151

I am usually pro-active in those situations kwassa Oct 2014 #159

You're right, most people feel embarrassed more than anything if they make a mistake BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #162

All it really takes is open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn. kwassa Oct 2014 #170

That has been my experience BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #172

Thank you, and the same to you and yours. kwassa Oct 2014 #173

Here's another scenario to add to your list: Tanuki Oct 2014 #168

That sounds like love BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #169

You hit the nail on the head and echoed what i couldn't even articulate. kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #155

"anger, disappointment and fear" when she learned she was pregnant with the child and now splashing Number23 Oct 2014 #21

Wouldn't change anything about her except the color of her skin BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #25

Do they not understand that someday their child is going to know what they said? Marrah_G Oct 2014 #28

I was thinking the same thing Renew Deal Oct 2014 #36

Actually, that's not true. They didn't learn about the mixup when the baby was born. pnwmom Oct 2014 #29

The paternity would always be random Renew Deal Oct 2014 #34

Not true at all Orrex Oct 2014 #48

It's the luck of the draw with any mating partner whether you "know" them or not. Renew Deal Oct 2014 #55

You seem not to understand what "random" means. Orrex Oct 2014 #58

No, they didn't choose a random person from a range. They went through bios and chose pnwmom Oct 2014 #68

They didn't choose a random guy at all. They chose a specific man based on particular details pnwmom Oct 2014 #67

Why no abortion though? When I recieve something I didnt want I return it and get a refund. nt ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #120

She was 5 months into her pregnancy. Most women wouldn't choose pnwmom Oct 2014 #124

I don t try to presume to know what most women would choose. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #166

You can't ever have been a pregnant woman to have just said what you said. pnwmom Oct 2014 #167

I don t presume to know another s state of mind. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #177

That is what I've been saying, but many here have disagreed with me. pnwmom Oct 2014 #180

Totally agree with you. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #181

Oh look, it's a snarky anti-choicer pretending that they would have a totally gratuitous late-term kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #158

Lol please 5 months is harshly late term. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #165

I rest my case. I don't know ANY prochoicers who would call a 5 mo abortion kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #176

Well you haven t been on here long enough. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #178

Does #330 have any parental rights over this kid? Renew Deal Oct 2014 #31

Almost certainly NO to both questions. MineralMan Oct 2014 #32

Are they all "donors" Renew Deal Oct 2014 #33

If you buy sperm from a sperm bank, it was provided MineralMan Oct 2014 #37

Depends on the state I think. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #122

Not if it was done through a sperm bank. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #182

Life's a crapshoot. MineralMan Oct 2014 #35

There is a glass partition that goes up to her head. Hard to see. Rex Oct 2014 #40

Ah! Now I can see the reflection, after looking more closely. MineralMan Oct 2014 #42

Very welcome, it is hard to see. Rex Oct 2014 #52

I hope she doesn't, too. The child makes me go ooooh. MineralMan Oct 2014 #53

It's almost certainly high-strength tempered glass Orrex Oct 2014 #46

I thought I was the only one who saw the danger! JustAnotherGen Oct 2014 #90

What a cute kid! Rex Oct 2014 #38

I think they were pissed that they didn't get the designer child MineralMan Oct 2014 #45

Fear of the hard time she'll have growing up with white parents in a racist country Warpy Oct 2014 #106

Good point, I was wondering if that is what she meant. Rex Oct 2014 #108

It's not that bad as there are so many biracial people today BrotherIvan Oct 2014 #183

To anyone who dismisses this by claiming "it's a crapshoot..." Orrex Oct 2014 #44

Since I'm the one who said that, I'll respond. MineralMan Oct 2014 #50

No, that's absurdist Tralfamadorian fatalism Orrex Oct 2014 #54

Fatalism, eh? MineralMan Oct 2014 #56

Seriously? Orrex Oct 2014 #57

Yes, seriously. MineralMan Oct 2014 #60

That's more of the post hoc rationalization Orrex Oct 2014 #64

This message was self-deleted by its author AngryAmish Oct 2014 #59

She's not blonde and blue-eyed Catherine Vincent Oct 2014 #61

What is it about brown eyes and dark hair kiva Oct 2014 #156

So many DU'ers are making unfounded assumptions about the couple involved. It's freaking me out. KittyWampus Oct 2014 #62

The fucking sanctimony oozing through this thread makes me want to puke. 11 Bravo Oct 2014 #63

^^That. Orrex Oct 2014 #65

At some point this kid will see these threads Renew Deal Oct 2014 #76

She is. So what? jeff47 Oct 2014 #80

I agree with this assessment Skittles Oct 2014 #128

Holding the company responsible Lex Oct 2014 #66

Poor little girl Bettie Oct 2014 #69

I'm not sure about that. MoonRiver Oct 2014 #73

Usually, the original preference Bettie Oct 2014 #74

I probably wouldn't sue either. MoonRiver Oct 2014 #77

Holding the company responsible Lex Oct 2014 #79

I wouldn't choose to sue Bettie Oct 2014 #81

did they talk about anger fear and sorry for not being accepted by bigots in the neighborhoods ? JI7 Oct 2014 #99

What a cutie pie! Her mothers are truly blessed! MoonRiver Oct 2014 #71

"anger, disappointment and fear" ??? I can't imagine those words applied to ANY healthy birth. hunter Oct 2014 #72

Anger, disappointment, and fear Bettie Oct 2014 #75

Since you've mentioned several times in this context, I am inclined to ask Orrex Oct 2014 #84

When they were old enough to understand Bettie Oct 2014 #87

Sounds like you handled it in a loving and beautiful way (nt) Orrex Oct 2014 #89

Thanks Bettie Oct 2014 #96

You know what is TRULY True 4Q2u2 Oct 2014 #86

Sorry she never made it Bettie Oct 2014 #91

Sorry for Your loss as well 4Q2u2 Oct 2014 #93

I love the smell of hypocritical self-righteousness in the morning. Kurska Oct 2014 #78

I still don't understand why this is being foisted as a racist issue against the mothers. Xyzse Oct 2014 #82

The mothers made it an issue about race. That is why we are talking about it. kwassa Oct 2014 #143

I didn't see them being uncomfortable about the race of their daughter in the more reserved articles Xyzse Oct 2014 #189

If the company broke their contract, then the couple has a legitimate claim. bluestateguy Oct 2014 #83

it was the mother who brought up race JI7 Oct 2014 #97

I see both sides. But I have to say in that situation I would not have sued even though the corp stevenleser Oct 2014 #85

I think I see what they are doing bluestateguy Oct 2014 #98

Just look at her face. AtomicKitten Oct 2014 #94

The parents are suing to provide their daughter with a better environment, in addition to MADem Oct 2014 #103

That can't be right Orrex Oct 2014 #107

I think the one thing that we know is that no one here knows this couple, or their kid. MADem Oct 2014 #113

See, what you're doing there... Orrex Oct 2014 #115

If we took the race out of it, or flipped it, I wonder if people would feel the same way? MADem Oct 2014 #118

Thanks for being able to relate this in a far clearer way than I have. Xyzse Oct 2014 #123

Yes - that is (as a general rule) how they match donors. Ms. Toad Oct 2014 #185

Thank you for adding that--I was out of my depth and I admit, making assumptions based MADem Oct 2014 #186

Female victim of corporate irresponsibility gets dragged through the mud on du. NCTraveler Oct 2014 #104

I liked the old days, when you just drove to the sperm bank where the mistake was made... hunter Oct 2014 #117

no, it's her own comments on race which did it JI7 Oct 2014 #130

She could have azmom Oct 2014 #141

Why didnt she just abort it? ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #119

This is a ridiculous reply gollygee Oct 2014 #125

I don t mean because the fetus was biracial, it just wasn t the donor she ordered. ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #164

How horrible for that child when she learns that she was a disappointment snagglepuss Oct 2014 #127

Like many here I had mixed feelings upon hearing about this story. If the mothers are successful in mother earth Oct 2014 #129

I used donor sperm and I totally understand why these parents feel this way rebecca_herman Oct 2014 #146

"robbed of my right as the parent to make a decision of what was best for the child" = no brown skin Liberal_in_LA Oct 2014 #150

You totally missed the point. rebecca_herman Oct 2014 #160

I used to work in a blood bank. Making a mistake like this would kill people. hunter Oct 2014 #161

This is probably the best post in this entire discussion. Your last paragraph nails down the issue- MADem Oct 2014 #187

Adorableness! (And I am not one to go gaga over kids.) WinkyDink Oct 2014 #149

If the mothers couldn't deal with her being black I'd take her home and raise her myself. kimbutgar Oct 2014 #152

"Fear"???? Why? kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #153

They live in a racist town. nt MADem Oct 2014 #188

Here's What RobinA Oct 2014 #157