The little girl whose birth brought "anger, disappointment and fear"

[Ms. Toad]

163. The issue is not how to love and take care of a biracial child.

It is that they recognize no matter how much they lover her and how well they are taking care of her, she needs a community of people who look like her - who understand what it is like to be non-white in this country. Her parents will never be able to really know that - and that resource does not exist in the community in which they planned to raise their daughter.

This is not about parents who perceive being biracial as bad. It is about white parents who have done enough exploration to recognize the truth of what non-whites have been telling us since at least 70s - that white parents raising non-white children need to be very intentional about becoming an integral part of a community which reflects their child's ethnic heritage or we will do more harm than good.

Frankly, you ought to be cheering the fact that they recognize that their daughter needs more than they can provide her with where they currently live, and are trying to figure out how to meet her needs (beyond those they will be able to meet of loving her and caring for her). Meeting those additional needs involves the expense of relocating - not a trivial thing, particularly since it may also require finding new jobs in a new location, in still challenging economic times. That is part of what the lawsuit is about - the costs they will incur in order to meet their daughter's needs for community are not ones they would have incurred, but for the clinic's screw-up. When you sue for malpractice, or anything else, you ask for the costs which you incurred (or will incur) as a consequence of the screw-up.