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1StrongBlackMan

(31,849 posts)
Mon Oct 6, 2014, 11:13 AM Oct 2014

I keep saying the topic of white privilege being equated to white guilt ... [View all]

as if the former is at all related to the later. More troubling is the concurrent argument, "I can't/refuse to feel guilt for that which I had no hand in creating."

Here's a Thought Exercise:

Imagine you joined a group. Upon joining you are introduced to the members. Being the smart and quick study that you are, you commit the names to memory and as the respectful person that you are, one use the member's name, whenever you address them.

During the gathering, one of the member who was introduced to you as "Piggy" (she/he is slightly over-weight), makes a particularly insightful and cogent point, which you acknowledge, by saying, "'Piggy' here has a good point." Then, he/she makes another, then another, point that you find to be spot on ... clearly, "Piggy" is one of the brighter, more insightful people in the room.

After the event, while having coffee you strike up a conversation with "Piggy" ... and find that he/she really enjoys the intellectual stimulation that the group offers; but he/she confides that she/he is deeply hurt by people calling her/him "Piggy", and that he/she prefers her/his given name, "Bobby/Bobbie."

In subsequent meetings, people continue referring to her/him as "Piggy" ... but you, with the knowledge that that name is offensive to him/her, refrain and refer to "Piggy" as Bobbie/Bobby.

Now ... you have several choices: you can raise the issue, expressing to the larger group that she/he is offended by the name; you can express to the larger group that she/he is offended by the name, AND express that because you are aware that the name is offensive to him/her, you also find it offensive and appeal to the group to recognize the offensiveness of the conduct; or, you can remain silent and allow the practice to continue ... after all, you had/have nothing to do with Bobby/Bobbie being over weight, nor did you have anything to do with the group's using that name.

Which course do take? And, do any of these paths express guilt?

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Perfect.nt bravenak Oct 2014 #1
I choose to encourage Bobby/Bobbie to tell everyone else what she told me. BKH70041 Oct 2014 #2
And that's it? ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2014 #3
Most definitely. BKH70041 Oct 2014 #5
Okay. eom. 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2014 #7
This OP has good tone. aikoaiko Oct 2014 #4
Yes ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2014 #6
I would continue to call the member "Bobby/Bobbie" in private and in meetings. Arkansas Granny Oct 2014 #8
What if Bobby/Bobbie told you what they did in confidence? BKH70041 Oct 2014 #11
You're right. Should check with "Bobby/Bobbie" first. Arkansas Granny Oct 2014 #18
I'm too nihilistic for white guilt, but I recognize white privilege. ZombieHorde Oct 2014 #9
Here's what I would do Orrex Oct 2014 #10
It can relate to white privilege/guilt, but a thoughtful person would avoid using "Piggy" at all bigbrother05 Oct 2014 #12
As to the example... malthaussen Oct 2014 #13
I am not guilty of those things in the past I did not commit. Half-Century Man Oct 2014 #14
I'd correct the next person who calls her Piggy, and if they needed a reason I would tell them I bettyellen Oct 2014 #15
Thank you for your response ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2014 #17
people make excuses for looking the other way all the time. but one person can change the culture. bettyellen Oct 2014 #20
The first choice is the best. badtoworse Oct 2014 #16
I would certainly stop calling Piggy Piggy and I would make a stink about it to the group, logosoco Oct 2014 #19
Leave Bobby/Bobbie out of it KT2000 Oct 2014 #21
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