General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

135. theoretically I can see that

Fri Oct 17, 2014, 10:59 AM

Oct 2014

I suppose.

But in practical terms, it makes no sense. When I was fifteen, I had a German teacher who was gorgeous. She was about 23, but married, of course.

It was a long time ago, but I can still remember having the hots for her. If she had returned the feelings and consented to sex with me, there's no way I would have considered myself a victim. More like a lottery winner with a $10,000,000 ticket.

And I cannot imagine ever wanting to tell her to fuck off either. Oh the horror. Here's a sexual relationship that starts in the middle of the 2nd semester. And now I have to keep having sex with her for the rest of the school year.

Okay, maybe I start a relationship with one of my classmates. So I want to tell my superhot teacher "well, I am having sex with the prom queen now, so I don't want to see you any more."

I guess if that happened, then I would be a victim. Terrifying to imagine being in a scenario like that. What a nightmare.

Here's an idea, for somebody to have sex with a subordinate who consents isn't anybody else's business. Not unless or until the boss abuses their position for coercion.

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Teen Who Bragged About Threesome With Teachers Feels Really Bad [View all] NaturalHigh Oct 2014 OP

Don't fuck your students. Problem solved. Throd Oct 2014 #1

That was my philosophy when I was a teacher. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #3

Better yet, don't rape them REP Oct 2014 #32

Yup. Not that hard to figure out. Adrahil Oct 2014 #43

Really. Good god. The kid didn't ruin their lives -- they did it to Nay Oct 2014 #49

no, actually it is the government that is doing it to them hfojvt Oct 2014 #126

Do only self-righteous people think it's wrong... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #138

students? hfojvt Oct 2014 #159

i agree with you samsingh Oct 2014 #160

Would you feel the same way if the teachers were male and the student female? yellowcanine Oct 2014 #170

My guess is that the majority here would not. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #171

probably not hfojvt Oct 2014 #180

So if a 15 year old girl had a big hairy crush on a male teacher it's ok for him to act on it? yellowcanine Oct 2014 #181

That's kind of the point I've been trying to push. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #183

okay? hfojvt Oct 2014 #184

But to get this straight, you're okay with a 15 yr old having sex with a 32 yr old. F4lconF16 Oct 2014 #192

Yup. eom. In_The_Wind Oct 2014 #101

This child was victimized by predators Cali_Democrat Oct 2014 #2

Post removed Post removed Oct 2014 #4

OK...and what if the genders were reversed? davidn3600 Oct 2014 #13

I think everyone knows the answer to that. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #89

It was rape. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #21

Yep. I hope someday the kid grows up to recognize this. Luminous Animal Oct 2014 #29

This story makes me furious. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #34

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is furious about this. Luminous Animal Oct 2014 #38

How is your comment not hidden MattBaggins Oct 2014 #25

It was! nt Logical Oct 2014 #35

It was. Sheldon Cooper Oct 2014 #47

I feel bad for him yeoman6987 Oct 2014 #7

It effected the lives of two young rapists MattBaggins Oct 2014 #24

Your side note is unreadable yeoman6987 Oct 2014 #41

yes, let's not let anyone express a different opinion samsingh Oct 2014 #161

So the rape victim shouldn't BRAG first of all? Really? nt alp227 Oct 2014 #84

He was 17, I believe, at the time cali Oct 2014 #9

He was 16 at the time. Jenoch Oct 2014 #16

Your link says the age of consent is 16 in 30 states, plus DC muriel_volestrangler Oct 2014 #110

Authority figures shouldn't fuck their subordinates. It's ethically questionable at best. LeftyMom Oct 2014 #31

+1000 Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #36

+2000 nomorenomore08 Oct 2014 #59

I made that clear in my post. cali Oct 2014 #79

theoretically I can see that hfojvt Oct 2014 #135

The problem is that consent in those situations is basically impossible to verify. LeftyMom Oct 2014 #141

Um...maybe you've heard... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #147

I'm reporting you hfojvt Oct 2014 #185

I've been benched anyway. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #186

uhm, maybe we are not a team? hfojvt Oct 2014 #152

And here I really thought F4lconF16 Oct 2014 #197

well you can blame that on my math degree hfojvt Oct 2014 #199

Are you suggesting there be no statutory rape laws? yellowcanine Oct 2014 #174

actually a "minor" often can hfojvt Oct 2014 #182

Yours is the ethical point upon which this discussion should properly turn. hifiguy Oct 2014 #164

That reminded me of that movie "Summer of '42." It was a beautiful evocation of a kid CTyankee Oct 2014 #168

Now you're just talking about stuff that was way before my time. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #172

Not in either one. in "Summer of '42" she and the kid's famiiy were on the Vineyard CTyankee Oct 2014 #187

How is it that all these teachers are humping students? Blue_Tires Oct 2014 #5

ANSWER: Internet Dating Stallion Oct 2014 #11

I guess that's my problem Blue_Tires Oct 2014 #12

I just think we find out about it now get the red out Oct 2014 #111

When I was a teacher... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #112

Kiss and Tell. Downwinder Oct 2014 #6

What a disgusting post MattBaggins Oct 2014 #26

Yeah, and it probably won't happen again any time soon. RiffRandell Oct 2014 #33

I don't even know what you're trying to say. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #88

I feel for the kid. Hopefully, he will realize that what happened was wrong. badtoworse Oct 2014 #8

r/nottheonion AngryAmish Oct 2014 #10

Some of the reponses surprise me scarystuffyo Oct 2014 #14

Gotta agree and thank you Kber Oct 2014 #18

You are right. bigwillq Oct 2014 #19

+ 1 TexasMommaWithAHat Oct 2014 #22

This post would be perfect for handing out bans. MattBaggins Oct 2014 #28

I'm just trying to understand the comments and I can't. scarystuffyo Oct 2014 #39

Never read a Julian Assange or Roman Polanski thread on this board. msanthrope Oct 2014 #91

The Roman Polanski threads are the worst. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #92

Assange defender threads have the added taint of CIA conspiracy lunacy, msanthrope Oct 2014 #95

I guess I mostly stayed out of those. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #96

Yep d_r Oct 2014 #30

Notice who the responses are coming from. Men you wouldn't mind Luminous Animal Oct 2014 #40

Stems from the idea of Lancero Oct 2014 #81

"Whether it was consensual or not"? alp227 Oct 2014 #85

Whether it's PC to say so or not Erich Bloodaxe BSN Oct 2014 #106

That is undoubtedly true. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #108

Correct. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Oct 2014 #109

Your common sense in this discussion is highly admirable. hifiguy Oct 2014 #165

The teachers should never be allowed in a school again. FLPanhandle Oct 2014 #15

Three lives ruined bigwillq Oct 2014 #17

Absolutely! get the red out Oct 2014 #113

I wonder that too. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #114

If a 16 year old girl was raped by a 32 year old man, DUers would be calling for his execution. chrisa Oct 2014 #20

+ 1000 nt Logical Oct 2014 #27

Because there are way too many people here and elsewhere Seeking Serenity Oct 2014 #42

I'm sorry.....but you got it fucking backwards, amigo. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #55

Except. . . ProfessorGAC Oct 2014 #99

"Losing their jobs and having to cop a plea will be punishment enough." Which I agree with. nt AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #189

And that would be an entirely appropriate and rational punishment. hifiguy Oct 2014 #201

Just so I'm clear... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #100

In all honesty..... AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #190

I understand. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #191

Actually he was resentenced to 10 years mythology Oct 2014 #216

One men, let alone two. LisaL Oct 2014 #205

There would LITERALLY be calls for castration. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #210

Yes, if two male teachers were accused of having sex with a 16 year old female student, I doubt LisaL Oct 2014 #213

Next question..... whistler162 Oct 2014 #23

That is what I am wondering... Lady Freedom Returns Oct 2014 #51

I hate it when teachers rape their students. (nt) Nye Bevan Oct 2014 #37

Saying those teachers "raped" that consenting kid does a disservice to the word. Comrade Grumpy Oct 2014 #44

Thankfully your neanderthal views are going the way of the Dodo MattBaggins Oct 2014 #45

Post removed Post removed Oct 2014 #54

As is typical with some of the more ancient views of rape MattBaggins Oct 2014 #56

If it were two random women this boy had had sex with, I might concede you the point. nomorenomore08 Oct 2014 #63

Rape is rape. No nuance. Period. alp227 Oct 2014 #86

Um, as a criminal defense attorney, I will tell you that you are utterly and completely msanthrope Oct 2014 #93

The definition of "consent" is different, though, right? DirkGently Oct 2014 #107

Your focus is incorrect...intent is irrelevant in a strict liability msanthrope Oct 2014 #117

"Consent," as I said. Not intent. That is the difference. DirkGently Oct 2014 #120

Of course the definitions of consent are different...you are talking different classes msanthrope Oct 2014 #125

No. The difference in "consent" is an actual legal distinction. DirkGently Oct 2014 #130

The "bad act" is exactly the same. Put your genitals where they don't msanthrope Oct 2014 #133

It's not an argument. It's a definition. DirkGently Oct 2014 #136

I'm always stymied by people who seem to understand the concept of msanthrope Oct 2014 #140

We don't equate selling beer to minors with rape. DirkGently Oct 2014 #146

I'd say that's good advice. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #149

Post removed Post removed Oct 2014 #150

Do you have a substantive response to the post? DirkGently Oct 2014 #151

I believe that rape is rape. JTFrog Oct 2014 #153

It's the law's definition, not mine. DirkGently Oct 2014 #157

I appreciate your posts JonLP24 Oct 2014 #158

Thank you. I worry when we can't discuss DirkGently Oct 2014 #175

Jury results. 0-7 LEAVE IT hifiguy Oct 2014 #162

Thanks, hifiguy and jurors. DirkGently Oct 2014 #167

"Ordinary rape?" Did you just actually write that? nt msanthrope Oct 2014 #163

I do not presume to speak for the poster hifiguy Oct 2014 #166

"Non-statutory" if you prefer. Real terms. Real meanings. DirkGently Oct 2014 #169

Dirk, I see where you are coming from on this. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #173

And I am with you there. DirkGently Oct 2014 #176

That's the core issue here. hifiguy Oct 2014 #178

Exactly. Thank you. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #200

It was rape. Period. The word fits perfectly. Seeking Serenity Oct 2014 #46

But it's a boy MattBaggins Oct 2014 #57

And so many actual misogynists are likely calling for these women's heads on a pike..... AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #66

Suuuuuuurrrre MattBaggins Oct 2014 #67

I'm sorry, but I've seen too much of this stuff in action to think otherwise. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #68

Well this case isn't harming women MattBaggins Oct 2014 #69

I'll just wait for the evidence. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #74

Force? MattBaggins Oct 2014 #76

He didn't have to be forced. Iggo Oct 2014 #103

Free money dude. n/t JTFrog Oct 2014 #98

Right? cyberswede Oct 2014 #122

Maybe someday he will feel better about it all. Major Hogwash Oct 2014 #48

It doesn't matter if he didn't feel raped gollygee Oct 2014 #50

I have a feeling CG doesn't understand that concept MattBaggins Oct 2014 #58

Statutory rape is rape... TDale313 Oct 2014 #52

Children can't consent. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #60

Very hard it would seem MattBaggins Oct 2014 #70

The guy was seventeen, not twelve......nt AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #75

17=legally a child. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #104

17 is the age of consent. He was 16. Had he been a few months older, it would have been legal. ieoeja Oct 2014 #132

I wonder if there is a law Jenoch Oct 2014 #134

Two *male* teachers where I went to high school married students they impregnated. ieoeja Oct 2014 #137

At my high school Jenoch Oct 2014 #139

Maybe nobody cared in the past... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #143

I know a few DUers who meet your description. Your problem is ... ieoeja Oct 2014 #145

Okie dokie... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #148

No, I don't think you can. JTFrog Oct 2014 #154

No, I still see them. Often in fact. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #155

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog Oct 2014 #156

It isn't legal for teachers to rape minor students. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #194

It's not legal for anyone to rape anyone. ieoeja Oct 2014 #195

Decades=this happened a long long time ago. Starry Messenger Oct 2014 #196

Oklahoma has a similar law. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #198

And there doesn't seem to be any evidence that he was coerced, either, from what I could tell. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #72

Bingo LittleBlue Oct 2014 #77

I see... one is 'legitimate rape' and other isn't? LanternWaste Oct 2014 #97

Statutory rape is rape. Gormy Cuss Oct 2014 #144

There are young female students who get crushes on male teachers. yellowcanine Oct 2014 #177

Sad situation all around. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #53

Why would MRA types smack you down for spewing their crap? MattBaggins Oct 2014 #62

"Why would MRA types smack you down for spewing their crap?" You can't be serious. AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #64

The judge in Montana broke the law in making that sentence and a different judge was appointed davidn3600 Oct 2014 #80

I seriously doubt they will do ANY time. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #94

He would not be the first to sympathize with his abusers Bad Thoughts Oct 2014 #61

Thank you for pointing this out MattBaggins Oct 2014 #65

Anyone who blames this child better look long and hard Hosnon Oct 2014 #71

Well.....in my honest opinion.....this kid did nothing wrong. At all. nt AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #73

Who is claiming otherwise? Jenoch Oct 2014 #119

I didn't say otherwise, though. Not sure why you thought I was accusing somebody. nt AverageJoe90 Oct 2014 #188

I have no idea why you made a point Jenoch Oct 2014 #193

"The reporting on this would be completely different"... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #121

The arguments in this thread seem to be about psychology. ZombieHorde Oct 2014 #78

Not a psychologist, but this is a prime example of Stockholm Syndrome. Lancero Oct 2014 #82

Rape victims too often blame themselves. I hope he gets the help he needs Maru Kitteh Oct 2014 #83

Yeah, I was kind of thinking that about the grandpa too. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #90

Survivors of sexual abuse chervilant Oct 2014 #87

I find the general "take" on this topic in this thread bizarre. DirkGently Oct 2014 #102

Not one but TWO adult women preyed upon a 16 year old BOY. That is rape. See how easy it is? KittyWampus Oct 2014 #116

Well, no. It is not legally or literally the same as rape. DirkGently Oct 2014 #118

I personally think... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #123

That is a valid, but separate point. DirkGently Oct 2014 #127

Thank you! FiveGoodMen Oct 2014 #142

Rape is rape. JTFrog Oct 2014 #105

5-2 leave. cherokeeprogressive Oct 2014 #202

That got an alert? NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #203

I was surprised as well. Here are the alerter's comments... cherokeeprogressive Oct 2014 #208

I would have voted to leave as well. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #209

I don't think anyone has the right to tell this kid how he should feel. randome Oct 2014 #115

We're saying a 17-yr-old has no agency. DirkGently Oct 2014 #124

For the most part, I agree. But the line is drawn and the teachers need to suffer the consequences. randome Oct 2014 #129

Question is severity of the crime. Are these teachers "exactly the same" DirkGently Oct 2014 #131

This is an excellent point, sir. hifiguy Oct 2014 #179

As a gay man, when I was 13, I was popping boners at just anything - closeupready Oct 2014 #128

Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2014 #207

OMG. Teenage boy bragged? LisaL Oct 2014 #204

I would think that was pretty predictable. NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #206

So much laughable, puritanical piety in these comments. True Blue Door Oct 2014 #211

That doesn't change the fact... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #212

That's reasonable. True Blue Door Oct 2014 #214

Well, another thing that concerns me... NaturalHigh Oct 2014 #215