General Discussion

riqster

(13,986 posts)

55. My experiences taught me a different lesson.

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 05:50 PM

Oct 2014

Injuring the bullies and doing so in a manner that absolved me from blame and placed the onus on them was highly effective.

Once per school building did the trick. Not only did bullies not fuck with me, they left other potential victims alone in my presence, or if they were close friends of mine.

Imagine: a star football player, his knuckles bruised and cut, exhausted, the laughingstock of the entire town...suspended from the team, detention for weeks, while I was praised for not hitting back. Not true: I got my licks in, but no one saw them, and everyone saw his, heard him, and ratted him out.

Fighting back (mentally and physically) most assuredly DID solve that problem, and in a quite satisfying fashion.

True story: he and I were teamed up in a golf foursome at the 30th reunion, and he was STILL highly deferential to me.

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Bullied Teen Lands In Hospital After Being Beaten, School Presses Charges � Against Bullied Teen [View all] KamaAina Oct 2014 OP

Oh no they didn't shenmue Oct 2014 #1

This message was self-deleted by its author The Magistrate Oct 2014 #4

And sue the officials individually, not the school or other government organizations... cascadiance Oct 2014 #7

The suit would just get tossed. NutmegYankee Oct 2014 #17

And we need to get rid of that shit for cops too. nt 7962 Oct 2014 #36

And for corporate brass too, like the BP officials who MURDERED their employees... cascadiance Oct 2014 #43

Qualified immunity is bullshit. If a cop loses a case, the defendant ncjustice80 Oct 2014 #84

That may not work. Officials are protected as long as they remain within 20score Oct 2014 #86

WHAT THE F**K? secondwind Oct 2014 #52

Wish the attorney general's office would get involved TexasMommaWithAHat Oct 2014 #129

What. The. Fucking. Fuck. Initech Oct 2014 #2

He should have pulled a gun and shot them, then claimed "Stand Your Ground." n/t crim son Oct 2014 #149

The US is not the worse, but it's often a sick fucken place in many ways! n/t RKP5637 Oct 2014 #3

Not One I Can Safely Express Myself Fully On, Sir The Magistrate Oct 2014 #5

Magisterial DUzy! KamaAina Oct 2014 #6

They already do. Just too unfeeling to be aware that they are the cause. n/t jtuck004 Oct 2014 #42

Most school administrators are teet sucking bureaucrats Dawson Leery Oct 2014 #8

We live in a bully society. The school and prosecutor sided with the bullies. This is typical rhett o rick Oct 2014 #9

Agree as usual, except the sports part Deny and Shred Oct 2014 #57

I disagree in the area of sports. The bullying on the court is mimicked in the gym and on the rhett o rick Oct 2014 #63

Sports have become meaner in my lifetime Lydia Leftcoast Oct 2014 #132

I agree. It's more about domination than having a good competition. nm rhett o rick Oct 2014 #134

Sports? How about the way the US goes to war? Bozvotros Oct 2014 #151

But the question then becomes . . . markpkessinger Oct 2014 #74

Violence is glorified on TV, Hollywood movies, Deny and Shred Oct 2014 #99

Sure, some coaches can do this . . . markpkessinger Oct 2014 #114

Bullying is glorified in every aspect of our lives. This OP points out rhett o rick Oct 2014 #157

Oh, please. Do you honestly believe that most high-school coaches -- radicalliberal Aug 2015 #168

Tell that to nonathletic boys who are bullied in mandatory P.E. classes. n/t radicalliberal Aug 2015 #167

Very True Sparhawk60 Oct 2014 #100

You've got that right! get the red out Oct 2014 #102

I can't help but feel that there is something missing to this story. linuxman Oct 2014 #10

What leads you to this conclusion? LanternWaste Oct 2014 #13

The charges don't match the story. linuxman Oct 2014 #19

Well said MontyPow Oct 2014 #27

Provoking speech or gestures bl968 Oct 2014 #34

Huh. linuxman Oct 2014 #37

PFC I think Capt. Obvious Oct 2014 #138

The military also has a charge for adultery, article 134 Quackers Oct 2014 #44

Article 134 is the General Article jmowreader Oct 2014 #82

Exactly. pangaia Oct 2014 #46

that's exactly why I don't like it when people use a source so obviously biased TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #116

easy acquittal...the kid was abused for years noiretextatique Oct 2014 #73

is it tho? redruddyred Oct 2014 #93

Snapped suggests something like temporary loss of willful control HereSince1628 Oct 2014 #96

+1 freedom fighter jh Oct 2014 #83

we need to write new laws to deal with cases of ongoing abuse. redruddyred Oct 2014 #92

I'm not familiar with the law on assaults but TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #115

There is in the law the concept of fighting words. Sam1 Oct 2014 #158

more details ... sunnystarr Oct 2014 #35

Thanks, that helps. pangaia Oct 2014 #49

I'm glad I don't have kids get the red out Oct 2014 #104

well, there's this... TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #95

True nature of the assult get the red out Oct 2014 #103

I wonder if the kids who beat him half to death Lydia Leftcoast Oct 2014 #133

Those were the reasons in my HS get the red out Oct 2014 #137

Here you go...................................... Fla Dem Oct 2014 #120

fucking hell BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2014 #11

I got bullied back in the 60's. Finally learned to fight back. riqster Oct 2014 #12

Fighting back doesn't solve anything. hunter Oct 2014 #32

Fighting back does work. christx30 Oct 2014 #48

Did you even read the story? Mariana Oct 2014 #76

Yes I read the story, christx30 Oct 2014 #81

My experiences taught me a different lesson. riqster Oct 2014 #55

No, it doesn't solve anything, but it can win some distance Scootaloo Oct 2014 #79

Except when it does... Oktober Oct 2014 #94

I agree get the red out Oct 2014 #107

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOw44VFNk8Y The CCC Oct 2014 #14

He was beaten so severely he had a brain injury while his attackers were unharmed. kcr Oct 2014 #16

Depends on what caused the brain injury. dilby Oct 2014 #21

Actually, there is such a thing as fighting words bluestateguy Oct 2014 #18

Actually, there is such a thing as fighting words The CCC Oct 2014 #22

That may well be BUT he's NOT in California, The CCC.... Ecumenist Oct 2014 #97

Yea Bullies! get the red out Oct 2014 #105

This is why the right to self-defense needs to be a part of any conversation about stopping bullying bluestateguy Oct 2014 #15

Post removed Post removed Oct 2014 #20

Three posts. All defending the bullies. n/t ieoeja Oct 2014 #24

Yeah, you're right. linuxman Oct 2014 #26

"Fuck you, asshole!" is an invite to fight. ieoeja Oct 2014 #28

No, still no call for violence. linuxman Oct 2014 #31

And if those words go on for months christx30 Oct 2014 #50

I addressed that linuxman Oct 2014 #53

I don't think you did. christx30 Oct 2014 #54

Well, I did. linuxman Oct 2014 #56

Oh I read that. christx30 Oct 2014 #59

Thank you. n/t ieoeja Oct 2014 #119

No "call for violence"? liberalhistorian Oct 2014 #123

Emotional abuse is far worse then physical abuse... Lancero Oct 2014 #140

If those words were outlawed for use, most of DU would be in jail. 7962 Oct 2014 #38

:) ieoeja Oct 2014 #39

Good. Good. I like it... pangaia Oct 2014 #51

it's obvious why you got into so many fights in the past TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #127

This message was self-deleted by its author ieoeja Oct 2014 #131

So if someone picks a fight with me and I accept ... I'm the bad guy? ieoeja Oct 2014 #135

Yes, seriously TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #147

It's not a matter of "insults." Scootaloo Oct 2014 #80

+1000 nomorenomore08 Oct 2014 #87

Thank you! n/t ieoeja Oct 2014 #118

as for those people that are supposed to help you TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #130

Those bullies stalked him. In other words, they were committing a crime against him. stevenleser Oct 2014 #68

Seems to me if "Stand Your Ground" is legal, Fla Dem Oct 2014 #122

American school administrators get a complete F on adequately dealing with bullies. Dont call me Shirley Oct 2014 #23

We have an active anti-bullying campaign out here KamaAina Oct 2014 #25

That looks like an awesome program. Our SD has Rachel's Challenge Dont call me Shirley Oct 2014 #30

Sadly, we have an active pro-bullying campaign up-thread. n/t ieoeja Oct 2014 #40

Eric Martin's parents should sue the school and the kids who bullied him. That's the only Louisiana1976 Oct 2014 #29

Schools have an absolute duty bl968 Oct 2014 #33

I was almost expelled knownow Oct 2014 #41

WTF? KamaAina Oct 2014 #61

It was my fault knownow Oct 2014 #155

Welcome, Knownow.....Right Glad tameetcha!! Ecumenist Oct 2014 #98

thank you knownow Oct 2014 #154

schools and parents back then very often acted like bullying was TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #136

my sister my tormentor knownow Oct 2014 #153

one of my brothers was my tormentor TorchTheWitch Oct 2014 #156

I've had a friend who went through similar... Lancero Oct 2014 #139

thank you knownow Oct 2014 #152

Sick fucks. raven mad Oct 2014 #45

Henrico, Virginia abelenkpe Oct 2014 #47

Ouch! A beloved ex-DUer lives right near there KamaAina Oct 2014 #62

I have a lot of respect for dems able to tough it abelenkpe Oct 2014 #64

The school is very diverse, so it's not clear if these were "redneck" kids or not. Wella Oct 2014 #69

Yeah it was diverse when I lived there too abelenkpe Oct 2014 #78

Everyone involved is a minor, so we may not know who did what, but Wella Oct 2014 #85

Here's some current information about the school: Highland Springs High School Wella Oct 2014 #66

He Won't Survive if he gets Convicted AndyTiedye Oct 2014 #165

You've seen or been in school fights jeepers Oct 2014 #58

Letters for Eric campaign + gofundme link eridani Oct 2014 #60

Color me a little skeptical sunnystarr Oct 2014 #65

It's legit. But you're right--I should have checked first eridani Oct 2014 #67

Thanks it's great to have that confirmed sunnystarr Oct 2014 #70

bullying is part of undergroundpanther Oct 2014 #71

SICK!!!!! what a sick country we have "developed" noiretextatique Oct 2014 #72

I didn't hit back when a bully wanted to beat me up after school, I instead told them to do it... moriah Oct 2014 #75

My cousin tried to be a bully Aerows Oct 2014 #143

I was lucky, during our suspensions a rumor got started.... moriah Oct 2014 #144

That's the way to do it Aerows Oct 2014 #145

That sounds like SOP for schools back in my day Scootaloo Oct 2014 #77

From the history, he threw the first punch. No, it isn't fair. flvegan Oct 2014 #88

Police and school board working together to torture this kid. These people are fuckers. We need whereisjustice Oct 2014 #89

The wingnuts run for school boards, along with privatization advocates. They need to be voted out. freshwest Oct 2014 #142

Stand up to the bigots, cuz they want gay people dead. blkmusclmachine Oct 2014 #90

Orwellian. blackspade Oct 2014 #91

So much for fighting back get the red out Oct 2014 #101

What every one seems to be ignoring here.. sendero Oct 2014 #106

You know what? get the red out Oct 2014 #108

NO I am not.. sendero Oct 2014 #109

I am very glad you are not blaming get the red out Oct 2014 #110

You'd really be surprised... sendero Oct 2014 #111

No offense intended but get the red out Oct 2014 #112

Well.. sendero Oct 2014 #113

Ignoring the gender issue a moment, fighting back depends on the type of bully. ieoeja Oct 2014 #121

Baggers in the mix somewhere w/o even reading this. lonestarnot Oct 2014 #117

My daughter was briefly bullied gwheezie Oct 2014 #124

And where have the bullied pipi_k Oct 2014 #125

USA, Bully Nation. Look at what happens to citizens, look at what the US does to other countries. RKP5637 Oct 2014 #126

Sad, but not at all surprising. Jerry442 Oct 2014 #128

Jury results, #20 - 4-3 hide Lancero Oct 2014 #141

Where did this happen. Jim Beard Oct 2014 #146

When someone is bullied defacto7 Oct 2014 #148

I know the feeling LiberalArkie Oct 2014 #150

I hate to say it but I laughed. I shouldn't but I did. F'em. nt JanMichael Oct 2014 #161

The principal and superintendent The Wizard Oct 2014 #159

I understand why he may have thrown the first punch. JanMichael Oct 2014 #160

How Many of the Kids Getting Bullied Have the Coordination for That? AndyTiedye Oct 2014 #164

Seems like things haven't changed in 40 years. . . Paula Sims Oct 2014 #162

While disgusting at least an "I don't care" let's you move on. JanMichael Oct 2014 #163

Update from GoFundMe eridani Nov 2014 #166