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liberal_at_heart

(12,081 posts)

15. That parent needs to get help dealing with the stress. Not dealing with the stresses of

Wed Oct 29, 2014, 05:33 PM

Oct 2014

parenting can affect the child parent relationship and can actually make the child behave worse. I have an autistic 16 yr old. I also have a 19 yr old daughter who is not autistic and surprisingly enough it was my daughter that I had the most trouble with. I had her when I was 18 and didn't know how to handle the stress of being such a young mother. I criticized her more than I should have and had a hard time connecting emotionally. It made her rebel against me and the cycle just repeated itself. Eventually I got old enough and mature enough to handle the stress of being a parent. I stopped criticizing her as much and she stopped rebelling as much. I had an immediate emotional connection with my autistic son because I was older and more mature and haven't had much trouble out of him at all.

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'I wish I'd aborted the son I've spent 47 years caring for' [View all] KamaAina Oct 2014 OP

I would not judge someone who expressed frustration, yet whose record was 45 years of care.... hlthe2b Oct 2014 #1

+1000, those who do have not had to experience it I assume. nt Logical Oct 2014 #12

i feel really bad for this person's situation. she is frustrated and understandably locdlib Oct 2014 #19

Agreed. Never in a million years. hifiguy Oct 2014 #18

Wow! Egnever Oct 2014 #28

You are both very wise and very empathetic. Scuba Oct 2014 #55

that's a kind thing to say.. hlthe2b Oct 2014 #59

I don't understand your smiley notation jberryhill Oct 2014 #2

The smiley is how I feel KamaAina Oct 2014 #4

I don't think she is saying her son's life is without value jberryhill Oct 2014 #5

Are you anti-choice? nt. Mariana Oct 2014 #10

I am not KamaAina Oct 2014 #11

People have said it about their kids without disabilities gollygee Oct 2014 #20

She didn't say it because he has a disability n/t kcr Oct 2014 #23

She was obviously stressed out to the max, people say things in that state. LawDeeDah Oct 2014 #26

My own grandmother aborted a fourth child because her third child was so hard to take care of... VanillaRhapsody Oct 2014 #51

That's not what she said... Oktober Oct 2014 #16

No, it's how the Daily Fail is interpreting it KamaAina Oct 2014 #21

you seem particularly active these days Sheepshank Oct 2014 #32

I, too, see a killing, dying theme going on KamaAina Oct 2014 #36

Yeah, it's ugly. But so is the world we live in. nomorenomore08 Oct 2014 #3

I wonder if she would feel differently if she had had more support at the beginning of his life. Brickbat Oct 2014 #6

^^^ THIS ^^^ KamaAina Oct 2014 #9

And more support now. Dont call me Shirley Oct 2014 #30

That poor parent, to feel such frustration in dealing with their child. uppityperson Oct 2014 #7

I really feel for this lady. calimary Oct 2014 #8

So true. And not only that but some people can deal with it better. People are different. nt Logical Oct 2014 #13

That's right. If you're not a patient person who's tolerant of individual differences, you'll fail Louisiana1976 Oct 2014 #37

That article is heartbreaking. So sad. Shrike47 Oct 2014 #14

That parent needs to get help dealing with the stress. Not dealing with the stresses of liberal_at_heart Oct 2014 #15

A 45 year old man with Downs is not going to behave much differently. This is Downs, not autism. djean111 Oct 2014 #22

I understand. Been there, done that. It's hard. Dont call me Shirley Oct 2014 #39

She has done so, per the article. Jim Lane Oct 2014 #57

That is a horrible thing to say, but no doubt she meant it. Rex Oct 2014 #17

I knew several people with Downs Jenoch Oct 2014 #24

The incident at Heathrow doesn't sound like any of the people with Down's I know KamaAina Oct 2014 #25

The girl I mentioned with Downs would have been Jenoch Oct 2014 #27

I had a friend in England who has a 20 YO son with Downs. djean111 Oct 2014 #31

there can be d_r Oct 2014 #43

High functioning HockeyMom Oct 2014 #29

Thank you. Implying that people who cannot manage to control their Downs children are just not djean111 Oct 2014 #33

You don't know how functioning the child will be. LisaL Oct 2014 #35

Steve, the man I was describing, Jenoch Oct 2014 #38

Older parents have his problem, I learned. I worked for a nonproft organization that served CTyankee Oct 2014 #49

was married to a speech therapist who worked at a sheltered workshop dembotoz Oct 2014 #34

Yeah, it sounds horrible, but Jamastiene Oct 2014 #40

Context is everything. kiva Oct 2014 #41

Neither. KamaAina Oct 2014 #42

But that is not what that mother is saying. SunSeeker Oct 2014 #44

The tests were not available 47 years ago KamaAina Oct 2014 #45

In her story, the tests were available, they just would not give her the test because she was djean111 Oct 2014 #46

I would not want to burden any of my family like that for 45 years. JEB Oct 2014 #47

+1 nomorenomore08 Oct 2014 #56

this gal is very brave indeed Skittles Oct 2014 #48

something someone said in the comments really made me think: renate Oct 2014 #50

Why did the Daily Mail even publish this? Ken Burch Oct 2014 #52

The Daily Mail can be pretty crappy. Rex Oct 2014 #58

What makes the Mail's decision to run this column this even more sickening Ken Burch Oct 2014 #53

Babs enid602 Oct 2014 #54