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YellowRubberDuckie

(19,736 posts)

2. These are right on.

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 07:37 PM

Apr 2012

We were in a hospital room in a Catholic Hospital. My mother in law is dying of cancer, which was made worse by a horrible, greedy, lying oncologist and his chemotherapy he gave her. A nun came into speak to the family. Mom's lying in bed trying to be conscious, and her mother, speaking to the nun says, "This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me." I nearly dropped that old bag right there in the middle of the hospital room. The nun smiled, we prayed for my mother in law and she left as quickly as possible. As did I. I excused myself to the chapel (this was before she passed away and I still believed there was a God).
Moral of the story: personalizing someone else's sickness and suffering is not becoming and will only anger those around you.

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Good advice: 10 things not to say to someone when they're ill [View all] snagglepuss Apr 2012 OP

My father did not tell anyone he had kidney cancer for the longest time. ScreamingMeemie Apr 2012 #1

These are right on. YellowRubberDuckie Apr 2012 #2

oh for pity's sake cali Apr 2012 #3

Maybe it's the way people have done it that set her off. YellowRubberDuckie Apr 2012 #5

Maybe cali Apr 2012 #7

Agree! And it's hard to come up with what is exactly the right thing to say. One RKP5637 Apr 2012 #14

I told my cousin that if people are standing around my death bed... YellowRubberDuckie Apr 2012 #16

That shocked me however I think her point of offeringto do specific things snagglepuss Apr 2012 #8

I just think she's a know it all busybody speaking for people who haven't asked her to cali Apr 2012 #10

But what if you don't want someone to vaccuum or do laundry? Luminous Animal Apr 2012 #15

Yeah so terrible that the person has to "think of a task" for them treestar Apr 2012 #28

She said no such thing. Prometheus Bound Apr 2012 #23

I agree, Cali. dmr Apr 2012 #32

Agh. I have a seriously ill friend. lapislzi Apr 2012 #4

A very wise rabbi once said that to sit with a person grieving, you must "breathe with" them. CTyankee Apr 2012 #12

If your friend values you, she'll appreciate your concern no matter Luminous Animal Apr 2012 #13

JFC. What and ass. People do the best that they can Luminous Animal Apr 2012 #6

The author should provide a list of 10 Approved Things to Say to Someone When They're Ill Arugula Latte Apr 2012 #9

She does. snagglepuss Apr 2012 #11

Funny story about the lack of PC regarding such. Lionessa Apr 2012 #17

Good ones Warpy Apr 2012 #18

Good Grief!! RobertEarl Apr 2012 #19

Except The Dick Cheney lunatica Apr 2012 #20

Basically, she's managed to list everything people might say to try to be nice. Warren DeMontague Apr 2012 #21

no wonder her friends make long excuses not to see her pitohui Apr 2012 #22

This must be why so many people simply shun their terminally ill friends varelse Apr 2012 #24

My Mother was at our house under Hospice Care goclark Apr 2012 #25

I can understand why that comment hit the wrong nerve. snagglepuss Apr 2012 #27

Thanks so much for understanding goclark Apr 2012 #34

I actually liked the list and the anecdotes. CBHagman Apr 2012 #26

My sentiments exactly. I am surprised how we seem to be in the minority snagglepuss Apr 2012 #29

Me too Prometheus Bound Apr 2012 #30

As a cancer survivor, I agree with a lot of this article. Jim Lane Apr 2012 #31

There seems to be a beggar-can't-be-choosers attitude on this thread, that sufferers ought to be snagglepuss Apr 2012 #33