General Discussion

Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)

135. I agree with you.

Tue Nov 18, 2014, 05:58 PM

Nov 2014

If I were the one with the bat-shit crazy parents, there is no way I would subject my fiancé to that. If it were my fiancé with the bat-shit crazy parents and he/she asked me to shut up? I'd have one foot out the door. You're absolutely right. As a couple you are a team and you need to have each others' backs. That doesn't mean you support your significant other whether they're right or wrong. It means your disagreements are conducted in private.

And here's another thing. It is the HOST'S responsibility to ensure there is no offensive talk at the event. Everyone in my family knows I am a political animal but, as a guest, or even as a host, I NEVER bring up politics because it falls way outside the boundaries of etiquette. The HOST is the one that needs to take control of the situation.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

168 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

T - 9 Days until Thanksgiving dinner with teabagger extremists... [View all] ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 OP

I'm sorry JustAnotherGen Nov 2014 #1

Just tell them you don't want to talk politics. What I do in situations like that is bring up still_one Nov 2014 #2

Go more hardcore if you want to have some real fun--- snooper2 Nov 2014 #3

I thought about this, lol. Go exteme to the other side of their exremism. My fiance, though... nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #11

If they live in Gomers district sharp_stick Nov 2014 #4

+1 ... 1StrongBlackMan Nov 2014 #130

+1, this is the way to handle it 0rganism Nov 2014 #151

My first instinct would be to point and laugh every time they make a stupid comment. louis-t Nov 2014 #5

A couple different things from a similar situation AleksS Nov 2014 #6

"Nothing good comes of engaging them..." While I agree, it does not seem fair that they are able to ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #15

CTD, the advice blogger Captain Awkward will have some great scripts for you to use.... bettyellen Nov 2014 #24

Open in another tab, bettyellen =) Will have a look, thank you! nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #35

I love that friggen blog..... bettyellen Nov 2014 #45

For the sake of your fiance, you will avebury Nov 2014 #40

Actually, I don't want to use the word "fortunate" here but my fiance and I are middle-aged, myself ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #47

"She really doesn't want to go either but knows if we don't, it will only mean misery because that's avebury Nov 2014 #112

Sounds totally toxic already - I understand your concern & good luck lunasun Nov 2014 #159

Or maybe they'll heed the boundaries and we can all have a nice go of it. That's what ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #160

I call it Teabagger Tourette's syndrome. May it be in remission on Turkey day lunasun Nov 2014 #165

Beg off with the flu/ebola, whatever. Have the fiancee bring you a plate later, so you can keep up monmouth4 Nov 2014 #63

Get good at the one-liner marions ghost Nov 2014 #77

Yeah, but wouldn't life suck if it really were fair AleksS Nov 2014 #133

As I posted earlier ... 1StrongBlackMan Nov 2014 #136

Heres some ammunition VanillaRhapsody Nov 2014 #7

These people don't want to see anything that isn't fox nooz. Indeed, I have a quote: ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #19

it IS Fox News... VanillaRhapsody Nov 2014 #21

I actually saw that and had a brain fart when I posted. They won't hear it, though, even ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #22

You've got what it takes marions ghost Nov 2014 #81

I followed that up by saying that I have personally caught every news network outright lying ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #103

Perfect--you made your point in the way that has no comeback marions ghost Nov 2014 #149

I've been wondering what Thanksgiving will be like hedgehog Nov 2014 #8

I was told by these people Saturday night that my fiance and I should not consider a European ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #20

Oh my I don't know what to say to that. avebury Nov 2014 #42

We were in London and Paris last May and survived. mnhtnbb Nov 2014 #55

I told them that "I am not scared of Muslims or terrorists attacking us and I'm not going to let ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #59

When it's a really ridiculous statement like that marions ghost Nov 2014 #84

All you need is love jeepers Nov 2014 #9

Very good advice, jeepers. Thank you for this arrow for my quiverful of options. It is most likely ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #23

Football. Watch it. Ignore them. Drink. JoePhilly Nov 2014 #10

I will try to honor my fiance's wishes to keep the peace... She has readily ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #25

What is your fiance's opinion on the topic avebury Nov 2014 #44

We're middle-aged and have both raised our own children to adulthood. Her daughters are close by ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #50

Here's something I do with part of my wife's family ... JoePhilly Nov 2014 #60

(FYI, American citizens are allowed to own Jenoch Nov 2014 #142

Irrelevant to my point. JoePhilly Nov 2014 #143

Ask the cook how much she had to pay for the turkey - hedgehog Nov 2014 #12

Haha, good one! I will do this =) Thanks, hedgehog! nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #26

Respect your role as guest -- Hell Hath No Fury Nov 2014 #13

This is the advice I will try mightily to follow, though allowing the BS is not in my usual ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #29

Sit back and admire the sea of fools that you are both intellectually and morally superior to NightWatcher Nov 2014 #14

I have to drive 150 miles so I won't be drunk. Stoned goes without saying, lol! nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #30

ha ha marions ghost Nov 2014 #88

This phrase helps me more than it should when surrounded by right-wing dullards... LanternWaste Nov 2014 #16

Don't do this but sharp_stick Nov 2014 #17

Tempting though, lol. nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #74

And she puts Obama on the SC!! JoePhilly Nov 2014 #144

We always have a mixed crowd B2G Nov 2014 #18

I never bring up politics and religion in mixed company. However, these people absolutely have no ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #31

find something else to do. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. librechik Nov 2014 #27

You could always offer to sya grace and then read something "appropriate" from the Bible... brooklynite Nov 2014 #28

This is an exellent idea! Any suggestions of "appropriate" passages? nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #32

Jeremiah 23 is filled with things that should be helpful. Get creative! greatlaurel Nov 2014 #163

How about the stuff in Ezekiel about the emissions like horses??? Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2014 #168

I'm usually sadly outnumbered so I generally keep quiet Lars39 Nov 2014 #33

Can you just drink to extreme Laffy Kat Nov 2014 #34

Yes! My fiance has no issue with not drinking so that I can. However, I know for a fact that when ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #37

You've got this, CTD! Laffy Kat Nov 2014 #39

Haha! Will do, Laffy Kat =D nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #41

bring plenty mercuryblues Nov 2014 #94

try to talk to them about things they know olddots Nov 2014 #36

Just know that you're not going to change their minds The2ndWheel Nov 2014 #38

That's how I feel about some members of my husband's family... Phentex Nov 2014 #114

Well, I disagree with pretty much everyone posting here. HERVEPA Nov 2014 #43

I think she needs to join him in asking to change the subject, and help him "opt out" of such bettyellen Nov 2014 #46

Thanks for the correction, I had no idea, lol. I haven't been a fiance since 1990. As for ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #54

I agree with you. Le Taz Hot Nov 2014 #135

Laugh... SomethingFishy Nov 2014 #48

Plan to laugh a lot. Use Poe's Law to advantage. immoderate Nov 2014 #49

Football, FRIENDS and FAMILY, Fun, and Deep Fried Turkey! Yum. I can't wait! cherokeeprogressive Nov 2014 #51

Turn a football game on the TV and act like you are really upaloopa Nov 2014 #52

Better Yet, Find A Room With A TV. . . ProfessorGAC Nov 2014 #82

I have done that upaloopa Nov 2014 #93

I've Done It Too ProfessorGAC Nov 2014 #101

Your fiancee knows you and them well. Follow her lead LeftyMom Nov 2014 #53

You could always develop a case of flu--or maybe, Ebola? mnhtnbb Nov 2014 #56

When they start in, remind them the turkey is on the table... KansDem Nov 2014 #57

Your soon to be wife is asking you to ignore it and you are considering telling her to fuck off? joeglow3 Nov 2014 #58

I would never mess up the peace we've enjoyed in our relationship in order to tell her to ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #61

Then you bite your tongue.....period joeglow3 Nov 2014 #66

Excellent advice, which I will try mightily to follow amid the spewage coming from the teabaggers.nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #67

You could try the "Make a new tradition" route. riqster Nov 2014 #70

That's a good idea if we could pull it off. I am off the hook for next year since we'll be able to ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #72

it's a good idea in that it will help you set boundaries.... bettyellen Nov 2014 #75

It helps that my wife and I are middle-aged. Easier to set boundaries. riqster Nov 2014 #78

Focus on priorities and practicalities. riqster Nov 2014 #62

Sing or play the internationale MillennialDem Nov 2014 #64

If you are asked what you think say, "I read something different." Dollface Nov 2014 #65

Just laugh at them Politicalboi Nov 2014 #68

Stay home leftynyc Nov 2014 #69

Yea, staying home not an option, sadly. I wish I lived in a liberal area, leftynyc. We're talking ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #76

I'm truly not trying to cause any leftynyc Nov 2014 #113

Just dunk them BlindTiresias Nov 2014 #71

Other advice in this thread that is very tempting is to go even further extremes than they do, so... ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #73

Lol BlindTiresias Nov 2014 #80

perhaps you should reconsider riverbendviewgal Nov 2014 #79

I suggest something like TexasMommaWithAHat Nov 2014 #83

That's pretty good advice... Phentex Nov 2014 #115

I refuse to hate my relatives who are Republican TexasMommaWithAHat Nov 2014 #117

Commiseration! Feral Child Nov 2014 #85

I second the idea of bringing a gift marions ghost Nov 2014 #95

Yeppers. Feral Child Nov 2014 #110

Right exactly marions ghost Nov 2014 #141

Non-defensive, non-explanatory, polite replies: msanthrope Nov 2014 #86

Yep marions ghost Nov 2014 #96

Bonus points for smiling marions ghost Nov 2014 #97

So sorry... I have them in my family too Peacetrain Nov 2014 #87

I gave into similar requests from my wife, years ago. Paladin Nov 2014 #89

You can't put politics aside for one day? Not even one? Dreamer Tatum Nov 2014 #90

Why don't THEY let it slide? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #120

Who cares? Does the fate of the world depend on parrying a few arguments? Dreamer Tatum Nov 2014 #123

"What a sad, pathetic, angry little existence some people live" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #126

I would be. Know why? Because I'm an adult, and I can hold my tongue. Dreamer Tatum Nov 2014 #132

What if one of those people decided to start throwing around the n-word? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #134

I think you should be respectful, but I don't think you should have to be offended. hamsterjill Nov 2014 #91

Easy Peasey! Sissyk Nov 2014 #92

The thing about this is that it is the hosts who are bringing taboo topics up in ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #99

Well, good luck to you! Sissyk Nov 2014 #137

Here's what to do: Don't Go LordGlenconner Nov 2014 #98

Of course you are right, everything you said. Sigh. nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #107

And since not going is not an option LordGlenconner Nov 2014 #119

What if it was the other way around? simak Nov 2014 #100

republican voters are the stupidest humans on this planet! Equipped with plenty of facts, pffft!!! ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #105

That's it, really charm them. You'll do fine. n/t simak Nov 2014 #109

LOL ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #128

I guess that would depend on your arguments. The media is often less than forthcoming. n/t simak Nov 2014 #146

Oh, I can see how this is gonna go..... n/m ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #161

This line - TBF Nov 2014 #129

I'm in a red county, and I know plenty of them. simak Nov 2014 #145

Yes actually I know Wisconsin TBF Nov 2014 #147

Actually, I'm native New Yorker in a conservative part of Florida. simak Nov 2014 #164

being against reproductive choice is NOT being a moderate Democratic. bettyellen Nov 2014 #166

Never heard of Bart Stupak? simak Nov 2014 #167

SMH Mr Dixon Nov 2014 #102

I'm going to avoid allowing myself to be drawn into their dark little world, Mr Dixon. nt ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #104

arguing with them is only going to make your fiancee miserable. Takket Nov 2014 #106

That's the first thing I thought of when I saw their colors: Well, at least I'll be cancelling out ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2014 #108

Ooh boy, maybe we'll make NewsBusters again! WorseBeforeBetter Nov 2014 #111

Ask them if they feel safe eating the turkey. If so, remind them that it is because muntrv Nov 2014 #116

Thank God I have none of these issues with family ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2014 #118

get sick and do not go oldandhappy Nov 2014 #121

Don't go. Why torture yourself. Cut the cord. LawDeeDah Nov 2014 #122

Just say --- elfin Nov 2014 #124

We order Turkey ahead of time TBF Nov 2014 #125

If you love your Fiance it would be best to maybe just ignore them. dilby Nov 2014 #127

Dinner juliann9494 Nov 2014 #131

If I were you, I wouldn't go. I can't imagine why your fiance wants to be there. Vinca Nov 2014 #138

I'd politely try to switch the subject Warpy Nov 2014 #139

You should listen to your girlfriend. Jenoch Nov 2014 #140

Go watch some football ignore political conversations. ileus Nov 2014 #148

Dress as a giant turkey, and respond to any questions with "gobble" Islandurp Nov 2014 #150

Maybe Paul Simon will loan his out... Arugula Latte Nov 2014 #156

My family back east are the same abelenkpe Nov 2014 #152

if you love her Niceguy1 Nov 2014 #153

just keep it quiet. If you love your fiancee, that is what you will do. boston bean Nov 2014 #154

I am always sober on Thanksgiving. AngryAmish Nov 2014 #155

no need to engage KT2000 Nov 2014 #157

The one time I was in a situation, such as yours, I made believe that I was an actor.. BlueJazz Nov 2014 #158

Eat as quickly as possible and go for a long walk afterward LeftInTX Nov 2014 #162