Most heavy drinkers are not alcoholics, U.S. study finds

[laundry_queen]

63. I wish I could ask my dad to stop

he was so authoritarian and abusive when I was growing up, that I'm too scared to even talk about it with him. If I discuss anything about him at all, it also turns into a discussion about what is wrong with ME instead of what's wrong with whatever it is he was doing, like drinking, yelling, being sexist etc (there are also personality disorders involved here with my dad) I've talked about it with my mom, but she doesn't think that it's "that bad".

Growing up there were a lot of incidents involving my dad's drinking and me being scared. And he definitely was NOT a mean drunk - drinking usually made him nicer. Still, as a kid I was very uncomfortable with his drinking. I regularly would beg my mom to make him stop. Usually those were the times he was so floor-licking drunk I couldn't understand a word out of his mouth.

He never let drinking interfere with his work, or with his being a 'responsible adult'. But every night he would 'have a few' and every weekend he would 'party' - either with family friends or on his own. He even drove us kids once when he was drunk and visiting old school friends and they 'made' him drink. My mom was pissed...but really didn't scold him or anything.

Now that I'm an adult, my dad still maintains his drinking 'schedule'. A few drinks on weeknights, a lot more on the weekends. My brother does the same thing now, despite health issues (that so far are unrelated to drinking). My brother understands the risks and gets his liver checked out regularly, and so far no issues so he keeps drinking. My dad, however, does have liver issues and elevated bilirubin but his doctor says he's okay. So my dad still drinks. His dad was an obese alcoholic who started smoking at 11 and lived until he was 97, so my dad figures if the only drinks, he's got a leg up on his dad and should live at least as long. My mom has told him she is worried about his liver and thinks he should at least cut back and he makes fun of her being worried, insists he's not a heavy drinker and that is that.

Anyway, family get togethers suck because my dad and brother are usually drunk and obnoxious. My brother at least acknowledges he has a problem, but then says, "well, it runs in the family" and says he'll stop the minute he has related medical issues.

At any rate, I'd add that if people are too scared to talk to you about your drinking, that could also be a sign you have a problem.