General Discussion

Inkfreak

(1,695 posts)

69. I'm having my first kid in July, so this is a great question.

Sat Dec 6, 2014, 02:31 PM

Dec 2014

Honestly, I'm not inclined to tell him there's a Santa. I don't even have any memories of believing in him, myself. Shit, we lived in a rundown trailer when I was 4ish and I remember thinking "what chimney?" My Mom would label stuff from Santa but I knda knew..

She busted her butt as s single mom to make sure we had a Christmas. I'd have rather acknowledged that, I think. But...even if I don't encourage this, it be all over the place from friends and family. If I tell my child there's no Santa he's prolly gonna repeat that to anyone if/when the subject comes up. Then it'll lead to awkwardness. Like what if he's telling everyone in class they're crazy for believing, lol. I suppose I'll just go along to get along.

Notice I said he?

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Should a child be told that Santa is real? [View all] edhopper Dec 2014 OP

They will find out soon enough Gman Dec 2014 #1

friends kid was 8 years old, hadn't figured it out yet. kids at school were teasing her, Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #170

Yup, that is the point you tell them Gman Dec 2014 #171

Or a fairy trades currency for teeth? Socal31 Dec 2014 #2

It's hard for me to remember (25-30 years ago when I was losing baby teeth) but I don't think I MillennialDem Dec 2014 #70

Seems we often accept and rationalize the imaginary as real when it suits us... LanternWaste Dec 2014 #182

There is really nothing similar about those things and Santa edhopper Dec 2014 #186

Great question and I think it really depends on the child and situation. hrmjustin Dec 2014 #3

I don't think a belief or disbelief in Santa is going to really change the course of a child's life ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #4

Good point. The answer could be "what do you think?" immoderate Dec 2014 #21

.... 840high Dec 2014 #134

some people who take the approach of telling them upfront that Santa is make believe the same Douglas Carpenter Dec 2014 #5

That's what we did with our son. But we did tell him that other kids had Nay Dec 2014 #122

No. I just prepares them to believe other bullshit later. FiveGoodMen Dec 2014 #6

As to Santa, you knew different from your peers. Whether you knew "better" is complicated. merrily Dec 2014 #46

The reverse happened to me. ChazII Dec 2014 #78

I did the opposite. Let them believe in Santa while they could.. deurbano Dec 2014 #188

If they outright ask they have had doubts for awhile. Tell the truth. alphafemale Dec 2014 #7

I asked because my spoilsport of an older cousin told me and I desperately merrily Dec 2014 #50

That Noah thing? alphafemale Dec 2014 #68

Thanks for the gratuitous, condescending sarcasm--and on a Santa thread, of all places. merrily Dec 2014 #138

Not this one. raccoon Dec 2014 #111

When Santa is unable to put presents under the tree Laughing Mirror Dec 2014 #8

. ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #10

That's one of the cruel things. alphafemale Dec 2014 #17

True, which is why so many contribute very gladly to toy drives this time of year. merrily Dec 2014 #48

Yes, charity, always the solution Laughing Mirror Dec 2014 #144

Where did I say that charity is always the solution? merrily Dec 2014 #145

Make sure you get that receipt for such generosity Laughing Mirror Dec 2014 #146

As I said in my prior post.... merrily Dec 2014 #147

How Bitter ProfessorGAC Dec 2014 #181

Yes. I think it's part of the learning process. Teaches them that adults can lie. Xipe Totec Dec 2014 #9

You mean edhopper Dec 2014 #12

That's oversimplifying it, but yes Xipe Totec Dec 2014 #27

That's interesting edhopper Dec 2014 #31

Teach them to distrust authority. To question authority. Xipe Totec Dec 2014 #34

They aren't taught that in their teens. Renew Deal Dec 2014 #152

I feel the same way. ZombieHorde Dec 2014 #79

I told my son pretty early, the truth steve2470 Dec 2014 #11

There are some who say you should never delusion your children. Lint Head Dec 2014 #13

What does that mean? edhopper Dec 2014 #16

Very young children do not understand the metaphor concept. Lint Head Dec 2014 #57

So when they are old enough to ask edhopper Dec 2014 #59

Life is not that simplistic and everyone must decide for themselves. Lint Head Dec 2014 #84

Thanks edhopper Dec 2014 #85

Good explanation! vankuria Dec 2014 #98

I have a friend who "never allowed her kids not to believe in Santa" VanillaRhapsody Dec 2014 #102

play along for a while LiberalElite Dec 2014 #14

No. avebury Dec 2014 #15

No, they shoudn't be told that Santa is real. frogmarch Dec 2014 #18

If the child asks the question, the answer should be no. nt ladjf Dec 2014 #19

I won't say what an other parent SHOULD do in this situation etherealtruth Dec 2014 #20

If they're asking, they already know the answer jeff47 Dec 2014 #22

Why not? We tell them heaps of lies anyway Prophet 451 Dec 2014 #23

There are good reasons to continue the Santa falsity Nevernose Dec 2014 #24

My neighbors are going through this now MiniMe Dec 2014 #25

What my father did... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #33

What a great memory- thanks for sharing. Heartwarming. n/t MerryBlooms Dec 2014 #66

Well, he is tularetom Dec 2014 #26

Believing in Santa was one of the most fun and magical things in my childhood. Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #28

This^^ Finally.. nt elias49 Dec 2014 #121

The same pecwae Dec 2014 #166

No Kalidurga Dec 2014 #29

"I don't know, what do you think? And why did you ask?" MADem Dec 2014 #30

Is the quote in your title edhopper Dec 2014 #32

No, the quote in my title is how I would respond to a child asking the "Is Santa real?" question. nt MADem Dec 2014 #35

Got it edhopper Dec 2014 #37

yeah, that's my general take too fishwax Dec 2014 #129

A lot of times they already know, they just hang on to the fiction because it's more ... fun. MADem Dec 2014 #135

I don't think that giving a young child something magical to believe in is such a bad thing. world wide wally Dec 2014 #36

No, I don't think children should be lied to 951-Riverside Dec 2014 #38

Children are the absolute best people to lie to. Shivering Jemmy Dec 2014 #107

You've never, ever lied to your child ... ever? Drunken Irishman Dec 2014 #115

Somewhere around age 10.. sendero Dec 2014 #39

Hold on . . . Santa isn't real ??? branford Dec 2014 #40

He is too! cwydro Dec 2014 #49

LOL. You got my vote for thread winner. merrily Dec 2014 #52

I loved believing in Santa as a kid! ocd liberal Dec 2014 #41

Lying to children is wrong. Lying to anyone is wrong. Coventina Dec 2014 #42

I'm sorry. merrily Dec 2014 #56

Thanks for posting. Very good point. nt raccoon Dec 2014 #113

As real as any other fairy tale. Orsino Dec 2014 #43

And then there's the Elf on the Shelf craze... Lars39 Dec 2014 #44

For me, the real question is, should I tell my husband there is a Santa Claus? merrily Dec 2014 #45

I felt exactly the way your husband did. nt raccoon Dec 2014 #114

I'm so sorry. Did you get over it? My husband still wasn't over it when our son was born. merrily Dec 2014 #137

I guess not. I decided a long time ago I'd never tell my kids there was a Santa. raccoon Dec 2014 #148

LOL! Good one. Thank you and the same to you. merrily Dec 2014 #151

Yes. It's harmless. Ykcutnek Dec 2014 #47

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett Salviati Dec 2014 #83

WELL SAID, YOUNG HUMAN, YOUVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION. HO. HO. HO. Hekate Dec 2014 #142

If you lie to your children, you should be aware ... surrealAmerican Dec 2014 #51

How about telling Grandma that the meal she made is delicious? Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #88

That really depends more on the sort of relationship the child has ... surrealAmerican Dec 2014 #179

Let then be kids. Around 11 they tend to find out yeoman6987 Dec 2014 #53

Could it be that we should acknowledge the roots of the tale? Skidmore Dec 2014 #54

I don't know that the roots of the tale were all that accurate, either. merrily Dec 2014 #58

It's up to the parents newfie11 Dec 2014 #55

If and when they ask, I tell them the truth. Iggo Dec 2014 #60

I always waited for my kids to ask. When they asked, I told them the truth. librechik Dec 2014 #61

yes helpmetohelpyou Dec 2014 #62

yes what? edhopper Dec 2014 #64

I would tell a small child santa is real if they asked helpmetohelpyou Dec 2014 #65

is there an age edhopper Dec 2014 #67

The best answer to that (and many other questions!) is "What do you think?" logosoco Dec 2014 #63

I'm having my first kid in July, so this is a great question. Inkfreak Dec 2014 #69

Congratulations and enjoy the magical time of your child believing in Santa! Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #87

Thanks! And you're right! It's about the kid being happy! (nt) Inkfreak Dec 2014 #162

I think you DID just acknowledge that... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #101

True! And thank you, I'm pretty stoked! (nt) Inkfreak Dec 2014 #163

Congrats Inkfreak! Renew Deal Dec 2014 #155

Thanks! It's crazy exciting, lol. (nt) Inkfreak Dec 2014 #164

Answer honestly, but lovingly when they ask. Frustratedlady Dec 2014 #71

But Santa is real. William769 Dec 2014 #72

Shifting from belief in a literal Santa to a belief in the spirit of Santa isn't hard for kids. ancianita Dec 2014 #73

Santa is as real as all other mythological entities. MineralMan Dec 2014 #74

"yes, virginia, there IS a santa claus" niyad Dec 2014 #75

No you should never start the myth of Santa gopiscrap Dec 2014 #76

Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small, was singing, without *any* presents at all! Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #86

santa is a woman niyad Dec 2014 #77

Never saw that before. Thanks for sharing. AndreaCG Dec 2014 #105

you are welcome. I got a card like that many years ago, always loved it. niyad Dec 2014 #184

for mine Santa was the spirit of Xmas, and we became Santa helpers at an early age, giving uppityperson Dec 2014 #80

I couldn't lie to my daughter. elleng Dec 2014 #81

I told Justice is real Bad Thoughts Dec 2014 #89

Christmas gifts were a HUGE deal, for my husband. elleng Dec 2014 #91

Make believe is fun... When the film Ice Age was popular, I created Scrat Day for them JCMach1 Dec 2014 #82

I always asked "what do you think and why". Until my son was 9 he always said he believed he was and OregonBlue Dec 2014 #90

Santa isn't real? LittleBlue Dec 2014 #92

lol - 840high Dec 2014 #136

If a friend at school doesn't get anything or not much of anything do you tell the child the friend TheKentuckian Dec 2014 #93

I shameless lie to my kids about this gollygee Dec 2014 #94

It's so cute when the older kids are in on the secret Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #118

It was hard for me to keep the truth from my little brother. Major Hogwash Dec 2014 #123

This brought me a big chuckle....thank you. nt snappyturtle Dec 2014 #157

If they are mindful enough to ask the question... malokvale77 Dec 2014 #95

I think at a certain point children naturally come to realize Santa is mom and dad. Marrah_G Dec 2014 #96

+1. It would be a cruel world if we didn't allow kids to believe in magic and fun FSogol Dec 2014 #99

When I asked my mother if Santa was real, she just smiled joyously and said, FourScore Dec 2014 #139

Well said. n/t FSogol Dec 2014 #160

Probably not. I would do it different if I could do that over again with the kid. LawDeeDah Dec 2014 #97

depends what real means Rosa Luxemburg Dec 2014 #100

Should a child be told god is real ? upaloopa Dec 2014 #103

Virtually all historians believe that there really was a Jesus Christ. Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #126

Virtually All Biblical Scholars =/= Virtually All Historians. Iggo Dec 2014 #161

So... historians of that time period (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #165

No...biblical scholars. Iggo Dec 2014 #167

Checkmate Atheists Capt. Obvious Dec 2014 #176

Just because they ask Politicalboi Dec 2014 #104

You should wait until they are older Shivering Jemmy Dec 2014 #106

When I told my son: Our Santa is kinda poor LeftInTX Dec 2014 #108

in most cases isn't it just something kids figure out on their own as they get older JI7 Dec 2014 #109

NO NO NO. I felt betrayed and lied to when I found out Santa was a lie. raccoon Dec 2014 #110

When our sons were little, I was very... 3catwoman3 Dec 2014 #112

I think your tradition is absolutely beautiful. All the magic and love, and a MerryBlooms Dec 2014 #117

No. sakabatou Dec 2014 #116

Right after they learn about Thanksgiving. rug Dec 2014 #119

We haven't bothered with Santa or the Tooth Fairy. Codeine Dec 2014 #120

Probably not a big deal. RedCappedBandit Dec 2014 #124

Instead of that lie, we told our children that the Middle Class is real. Orrex Dec 2014 #125

mom told me d_b Dec 2014 #127

Methinks they should learn about the original "Santa". . . DinahMoeHum Dec 2014 #128

If Santa isn't real, the Grinch definitely is. Initech Dec 2014 #130

My wife would tell you Santa is real. She still believes. She believes santa is the spirit of diabeticman Dec 2014 #131

Not cool to lie to kids nt abelenkpe Dec 2014 #132

My dad has a full beard and usually plays Santa around the holidays Recursion Dec 2014 #133

To this day, when I see Santa FourScore Dec 2014 #140

He is Santa so he knows first hand that he's real Renew Deal Dec 2014 #154

Why not have a little magic in a child's life for awhile? They outgrow it soon enough... Hekate Dec 2014 #141

They should not be lied to if they ask if Santa is real. bigwillq Dec 2014 #143

It's fun to pretend oberliner Dec 2014 #149

I've been waiting for this thread, and all the "I was scared for life" replies. ileus Dec 2014 #150

If the kid asks, they should be told the truth Renew Deal Dec 2014 #153

I remember when I was 6 and figured out there was no Santa Claus Peacetrain Dec 2014 #156

My wife and youngest daughter pretended ... JoePhilly Dec 2014 #158

My atheist daughter didn't believe in Jesus, but she believed in Santa. Heck.... msanthrope Dec 2014 #159

I'm a little bit amused... metalbot Dec 2014 #168

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Dec 2014 #169

Let them have fun in make believe while they can Capt. Obvious Dec 2014 #172

Well.... about 2% of Americans are atheists Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #174

Santa bless you Capt. Obvious Dec 2014 #175

That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is adults mmonk Dec 2014 #173

I would agree that there just comes a point where they probably figure it out themselves The2ndWheel Dec 2014 #177

depends on if child it circumsised or not d_r Dec 2014 #178

good point Vattel Dec 2014 #180

Should children be taught Parables or fables? dilby Dec 2014 #183

I believed in Santa as a kid; Christmas was a thrilling time of year LeftinOH Dec 2014 #185

We Had Great Christmases RobinA Dec 2014 #187

No. Lolita46 Dec 2014 #189

Sure. Why not? The idea of "Santa" is very real, whether you want to play along or not. cbdo2007 Dec 2014 #190

Santa was real at our house. leftyladyfrommo Dec 2014 #191