An open letter to African-Americans who have left DU (xpost from AA)

[Feral Child]

338. I've used the term here.

And I sincerely apologize. It was insensitive of me and I really didn't realize that it was offensive. I understand now and won't ever use that phrase again.


I'm profoundly offended by racism. I'm a white dude, but racism is so ugly and disturbing that I have an actual physical reaction, a feeling of sickness, when I witness it.

And yet I see I have at times been part of the problem.

Another example:

I don't like the way people treat "service" workers. I tend to reply with "sir" or "ma'am" to grocery cashiers, for example, when asked a question. "Did you find everything you need today?" "Yes, sir."

A while back, I noticed that anytime I was in one man's checkout line, his face would change. Like a mask dropped over it. It suddenly occurred to me that I might be perceived as being patronizing. That he might feel I was singling him out for politeness due to WMG.
I felt really ashamed. I really didn't mean it that way, I just don't like it that cashiers, food servers, and other persons in those jobs have to take a bunch of shit from rude people.

But I was perceived as talking down to the man, and perception is everything. I insulted him. I hurt his feelings.
I felt terrible.

Communication is very difficult sometimes. I realize now that I should have spoken to him man-to-man. I was trying to be nice but I left the impression of "soft racism". I need to look at things from the other guys perspective, as much as is possible.

He's since changed jobs within the store. When I bump into him in the aisles I say, "Hi, How's it going?" or some such. His posture and his face has softened when he sees me. Maybe I got it right, finally. I hope so, anyway.


As a white guy, I've congratulated myself for my open-mindedness. Yet I'm still a clumsy fuck sometimes. Thanks for pointing out this particular gaffe to me. Lesson learned. A term that singles out someone because of race, like "Uncle Tom" or even "cracker" is racist and hurts people. Your objection to "cracker" (and I have noticed you saying that here) never made sense to me before. Now it does.

Thanks, and I'm sorry.




I also apologize for being long-winded. It's a fault and I'm trying to address it.