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ieoeja

(9,748 posts)

178. So Jon's a gorilla, and you're a howler monkey?

Tue Dec 23, 2014, 01:38 AM

Dec 2014

Female gorillas mate solely with the band leader. The chance of a male reproducing is determined by his success at becoming a band leader. Once that success is achieved, semen volume is of little concern as there is no competition.

Female howler monkeys mate with every male member of the troop. Reproduction is dependent on luck rather than skill. Semen volume is pretty much all they have going for them to swing the scales in their favor.

As such, gorilla's have evolved with small testicles. Howler monkey's testicles drag the ground. So when a man talks about his "big balls" he is effectively saying that he comes from a long line of friendly women and men who got lucky.

Nothing wrong with that. I like friendly women. Viva la sympa femmes!

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New York Subway Officials To Shame People Sitting With Their Legs Spread - "man spreading" [View all] Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 OP

People want dense living and fewer cars joeglow3 Dec 2014 #1

close ur legs buddy Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #4

Fortunately, I don't need to joeglow3 Dec 2014 #6

The distance between brake and accelerator effectively controls this. daleo Dec 2014 #18

Some of us learned to drive on a stick and only use one foot for both brake and accelerator Fumesucker Dec 2014 #19

That would be the only correct way, regardless of the number of pedals. ManiacJoe Dec 2014 #25

+1 Go Vols Dec 2014 #78

You're right daleo Dec 2014 #207

Unless you're driving a race car Codeine Dec 2014 #44

Or driving a stick shift... NutmegYankee Dec 2014 #54

I meant gas and brake two-footing Codeine Dec 2014 #55

"Heel & Toe"-ing. Feral Child Dec 2014 #151

race car drivers break with their right feet? arely staircase Dec 2014 #160

You just failed Driver's Ed. Odin2005 Dec 2014 #168

One of many reasons I will not ride a bus or subwar yeoman6987 Dec 2014 #131

Who are these "people"? Sen. Walter Sobchak Dec 2014 #92

Fair enough. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #94

Actually you wouldn't be keeping your car CreekDog Dec 2014 #148

So maybe NY is too dense and we need to encourage people to spread out joeglow3 Dec 2014 #149

New York City doesn't need to conform to your needs CreekDog Dec 2014 #150

But people are demanding that others conform to their WANTS joeglow3 Dec 2014 #165

Please read the story before you explain things... CreekDog Dec 2014 #169

If people want to live in a place with cars, they should stop bitching about how people park ... ieoeja Dec 2014 #171

Show me the thread wih people whining about that. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #179

I suppose if my Dad wanted to live on a farm, he should have quit bitching about people dumping ... ieoeja Dec 2014 #170

You don't see the difference between... joeglow3 Dec 2014 #180

Yes, I see a difference. But I also see three assholes. n/t ieoeja Dec 2014 #182

I am starting stretches. My goal is to sit with my legs at 180 degrees joeglow3 Dec 2014 #184

Have these dumb shits ever rode on their own trains and buses? Archae Dec 2014 #2

so other people should just stand? Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #3

If they have to, yes. Archae Dec 2014 #7

Increase public transportation. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #9

That and some express buses that have limited stops...nt Jesus Malverde Dec 2014 #38

It's so cute listening to people who aren't from NYC prescribe improvements... brooklynite Dec 2014 #40

Then it sounds like public transportation may not be the answer joeglow3 Dec 2014 #56

well perhaps some could close their damn legs.... VanillaRhapsody Dec 2014 #93

Spoken like a republican. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #95

says the left leaning Independent VanillaRhapsody Dec 2014 #134

It was a joke...lighten up joeglow3 Dec 2014 #141

likewise VanillaRhapsody Dec 2014 #147

So now people are labeled 'Republicans' for not being inconsiderate assholes? n/t markpkessinger Dec 2014 #202

Wow. Do you always try to find insults where there are none? joeglow3 Dec 2014 #206

Everyone should just stand...Just have straps to hold on to... snooper2 Dec 2014 #120

I'm just imagining me - a woman - doing that Boudica the Lyoness Dec 2014 #12

and what exactly do us gals do? Skittles Dec 2014 #15

im a woman and 6'2". I fold up like a praying mantis elehhhhna Dec 2014 #60

"like a praying mantis" lol Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #67

classic case of male entitlement, elehhhhna Skittles Dec 2014 #73

You're A Foot Taller Than My Wife! ProfessorGAC Dec 2014 #113

Im a foot taller than everybodys wife! elehhhhna Dec 2014 #122

Cool! I learned Something New ProfessorGAC Dec 2014 #123

I'm also 6'2 and I'm not sure how you fold up on planes MillennialDem Dec 2014 #203

Funny. Women sit like this all the time. Keep your legs within the borders of your seat and keep Luminous Animal Dec 2014 #28

And the person next to you? Their legs are not falling asleep? Luminous Animal Dec 2014 #31

And yet many men and women don't have this problem. pnwmom Dec 2014 #33

They're not falling asleep from the moment LiberalElite Dec 2014 #45

I drove 14 hours because I can't stand the way yeoman6987 Dec 2014 #133

Is the problem having long legs. donheld Dec 2014 #5

Tell me about it. Archae Dec 2014 #8

My husband is 6' 4" and my daughter is 6'2". Both long legged. Neither one of them would spread Luminous Animal Dec 2014 #29

Sorry, but the discomfort of being tall ain't got ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #11

The problem is having large, external genitalia. woolldog Dec 2014 #17

Nobody's balls are that big. Warpy Dec 2014 #26

Unless you have balls, woolldog Dec 2014 #43

Nobody expects men to clamp their thighs together Warpy Dec 2014 #48

No it won't happen. woolldog Dec 2014 #52

It's nice when DU endorses a policy of assault Orrex Dec 2014 #57

Who endorsed a policy of assault? Warpy Dec 2014 #58

Then you're issuing a promise of action on someone else's behalf? Orrex Dec 2014 #59

bullshit. men make it through 4hour biz meetings elehhhhna Dec 2014 #61

Do men typically sit with their knees pressed together at such biz meetings? Orrex Dec 2014 #66

Again, men have been sitting this way for millenia woolldog Dec 2014 #70

lmao. they squatted before chairs came to fashion, should stick with that. elehhhhna Dec 2014 #72

hilarious when men admit they have never evolved Skittles Dec 2014 #74

and yet, the wide stancers on the subway tend to be under 30 year old males. Gormy Cuss Dec 2014 #97

Do you have any proof of that, other than just saying it? woolldog Dec 2014 #100

Thirty years of riding subways. Gormy Cuss Dec 2014 #117

Actually, they sit in chairs at the office, just like that too. notadmblnd Dec 2014 #85

You are correct-- digonswine Dec 2014 #88

I can do this with no problem JonLP24 Dec 2014 #75

That's great Jon. woolldog Dec 2014 #77

So Jon's a gorilla, and you're a howler monkey? ieoeja Dec 2014 #178

Bullshit digonswine Dec 2014 #82

"nut-stomping competition" LOL steve2470 Dec 2014 #162

Thanks-enjoy the holidays! digonswine Dec 2014 #163

You are wrong-period digonswine Dec 2014 #86

Sitting wrong? woolldog Dec 2014 #90

Really? I am in business meetings with men all the time, smirkymonkey Dec 2014 #108

I am too. woolldog Dec 2014 #124

Pay attention. Just look at the differences in how men and women cross their legs joeglow3 Dec 2014 #185

I don't know how you sit-- digonswine Dec 2014 #157

get a full bladder with no bathroom. i guarantee you'll figure out how to sit without manspreading. unblock Dec 2014 #181

Sit up with legs forward. And yes, short men do this. And tall women don't. Luminous Animal Dec 2014 #30

They ALL do it - LiberalElite Dec 2014 #46

Inconsiderate pissants. Ykcutnek Dec 2014 #10

Omg... TeeYiYi Dec 2014 #13

He could be just limbering up for the riverdance. Warren DeMontague Dec 2014 #35

Stringbean here should have paid three fares. nt LiberalElite Dec 2014 #47

Don't touch me! Stay away from me! MineralMan Dec 2014 #51

i think we've found a love connection for that dude! big_dog Dec 2014 #79

Perhaps his pants... 3catwoman3 Dec 2014 #104

I believe that's exactly what's going on here... TeeYiYi Dec 2014 #106

"Behold the magnificence of my Man Crotch. You're welcome!" Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #129

It looks like he posing for that picture because nobody sits like that Chisox08 Dec 2014 #145

Inconsiderate goon spotted at 12 o'clock! hifiguy Dec 2014 #154

This guy kind of looks like Chip Esten, the comedian from Whose Line Is It Anyway. DawgHouse Dec 2014 #200

You see rudeness... TreasonousBastard Dec 2014 #14

Jinx. Warpy Dec 2014 #27

If anybody on here melman Dec 2014 #110

Funny how that works, isn't it? TreasonousBastard Dec 2014 #112

I didn't see a target. Looked vulnerable to me, despite the 'DNFWM!' facial expression. freshwest Dec 2014 #193

Of my gawd, this made me laugh. Control-Z Dec 2014 #16

LOL! The Outrage Meter will flip out! freshwest Dec 2014 #194

Larry Craig Enrique Dec 2014 #20

Clearly discrimination against those with 'wide stance's... n/t PoliticAverse Dec 2014 #21

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! brush Dec 2014 #41

Priceless!! nruthie Dec 2014 #53

I can't stand leg spreaders in buses JonLP24 Dec 2014 #22

NO SEX THREADS! Behind the Aegis Dec 2014 #23

I always wondered burrowowl Dec 2014 #24

maybe that's physics: lay two pencils parallel: push to top ends together and the far ends MisterP Dec 2014 #64

Man-spreaders are a common variety of subway asshole nt geek tragedy Dec 2014 #32

It's NYC. Warren DeMontague Dec 2014 #34

yes because men are the only ones who take up too much space. dilby Dec 2014 #36

Women generally don't start claiming evolution gives them the duty to do that, though. (nt) Posteritatis Dec 2014 #83

I didn't even know this was a thing. Inkfreak Dec 2014 #37

Me either... TeeYiYi Dec 2014 #63

it is. been growing as a "thing" that riders are complaining about recently Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #69

As new 'things' go... TeeYiYi Dec 2014 #102

I have done just that. It's been a long time since I've ridden NYC transit, phylny Dec 2014 #109

What's baffling is how heatedly people defend it Posteritatis Dec 2014 #80

Before this thread I had always assumed they just didn't notice they were pushing others around. ieoeja Dec 2014 #111

Yeah, pretty revealing about the mindset of some DUers, eh? Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #130

They probably *didn't*, but mentioning it provokes "how dare you!" flareups from them. Posteritatis Dec 2014 #155

If I am not mistaken people have already been arrested AndreaCG Dec 2014 #39

You do have to be a little careful . . . brush Dec 2014 #42

Don't make eye contact IMO only applies to a few AndreaCG Dec 2014 #50

I never sit that way. It looks to me like those people MineralMan Dec 2014 #49

Wall Street "man spreads" on the rest of us all day every day Agony Dec 2014 #62

I rode the DC Metro daily for over 5 years justiceischeap Dec 2014 #65

i had a woman sit next to me w legs together but at angle Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #68

Did you speak up? WorseBeforeBetter Dec 2014 #71

I rode the DC Metro once seveneyes Dec 2014 #89

You know how a male dog pisses on things to mark terrority? notadmblnd Dec 2014 #76

"the human male" seveneyes Dec 2014 #87

you have almost won Post of Thread award...try a little more please snooper2 Dec 2014 #121

further proof of civilation unraveling olddots Dec 2014 #81

Daddy, don't live in that New York City no more seveneyes Dec 2014 #84

Of the disgusting, annoying and terrifying sub-human behavior I have seen on the NY subway Sen. Walter Sobchak Dec 2014 #91

Close yer damn legs. eom. Raine1967 Dec 2014 #96

LOL! Rex Dec 2014 #98

lol... yuiyoshida Dec 2014 #119

Sort of did that in Chicago once. ieoeja Dec 2014 #172

Can you imagine having that as a job? Rex Dec 2014 #204

Shouldn't the headline say "men" instead of people? jberryhill Dec 2014 #99

Get out of here with your sexist drivel! Calista241 Dec 2014 #116

Why is that guy on the left wearing such short-shorts? Reter Dec 2014 #101

It looks like Pauly Shore circa 1989. Warren DeMontague Dec 2014 #103

Short shorts... TeeYiYi Dec 2014 #105

Those short shorts will never go out of style. donheld Dec 2014 #107

Because his legs are hot. closeupready Dec 2014 #143

As a New Yorker who stands every day during his 50 minutes commute, RedCappedBandit Dec 2014 #114

If you can't tie the story into one group oppressing another group, it wouldn't be much hughee99 Dec 2014 #146

This message was self-deleted by its author RedCappedBandit Dec 2014 #115

I have no problem with this or bags on seats as long as the train is not crowded stevenleser Dec 2014 #118

Which train lines do you see it on - the numbered ones? closeupready Dec 2014 #125

Yep, 1,2,3 are the ones that go both to my house and my main work location. stevenleser Dec 2014 #132

Same reason inferior men need huge trucks. They think they are duping others. Sarcasm NCTraveler Dec 2014 #126

I see men do this all the time. The message: "I'm better than you, so I should take up more space." Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #127

And those fat people. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #186

Yeah, no. This isn't the same. Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #187

Are you a man? joeglow3 Dec 2014 #189

Nope. I'm a woman who has been pushed over in a seat waaaay too many times. Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #190

So, you don't know how uncomfortable it is to smash your balls together joeglow3 Dec 2014 #191

Millions of men manage to sit in public places without either "smashing" their balls together Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #198

From below, it is biology joeglow3 Dec 2014 #199

So not rudely imposing on me and taking over my personal space is "catering" to me? Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #208

Good to see you are hard of reading. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #209

You seem to think men are entitled to take over women's space because of biology. Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #210

No. You have a victim mentality. joeglow3 Dec 2014 #212

Not uncomfortable for women? Are you delusional? Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #215

You think I want to be touching you or anyone else joeglow3 Dec 2014 #216

You're rude, selfish, and arrogant. Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #217

I see biology and evolution only matter for women joeglow3 Dec 2014 #220

Also, why wasn't this ever a Seinfeld episode?! Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #128

Totally agree! Blue Owl Dec 2014 #138

I can picture Elaine bursting into Jerry's apartment: Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #140

Oh goodness, that's PERFECT! Codeine Dec 2014 #156

Ha Ha! Compen-spreading! Love it! Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #166

Perfect description of how it'd be done. Always enjoyed Elaine's 'Fake, fake, fake!' scene, too. freshwest Dec 2014 #195

Honestly, I don't think this was a thing until the last 12-18 months. stevenleser Dec 2014 #142

Hah, really? I've sat next to Man Spreaders on transit trains & airplanes for years and years. Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #152

Yes, some think all women should cede whatever space they're in: bus, line, table, road... freshwest Dec 2014 #196

Really makes folks crotchety Blue Owl Dec 2014 #135

Ba da bing! Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #137

The one on the left looks like a perv Jamaal510 Dec 2014 #136

Well, duh, that is L train for you, regardless of gender. closeupready Dec 2014 #144

This reminded me of the basic training cattle trailers in the Army Quackers Dec 2014 #139

I think the twits up thread defending the spread wouldn't dare in your circumstances. n/t ieoeja Dec 2014 #173

I don't think this has been mentioned. Feral Child Dec 2014 #153

I'm surprised it took this long to be mentioned. ieoeja Dec 2014 #174

Yeah, that's how I see it. Feral Child Dec 2014 #183

2 things spring to mind arely staircase Dec 2014 #158

first big-gulps now this saltpepperdoor Dec 2014 #159

This is dumb. There's a biological reason that men sit like that, and it's not just our nuts. Xithras Dec 2014 #161

I disagree with "this is stupid". But I like the rest. ieoeja Dec 2014 #175

it's really simple, common courtesy for your fellow passengers steve2470 Dec 2014 #164

I'm a dude and this shit baffles me. Odin2005 Dec 2014 #167

I used to think it was all unconscious, but I've seen it enough that I think a lot of men Arugula Latte Dec 2014 #188

Airing it out? Dont call me Shirley Dec 2014 #176

Really? What type of Christian like taliban twlight zone are we slipping into? diabeticman Dec 2014 #177

I've always felt sorry for men regarding this matter. If you don't know, don't ask. freshwest Dec 2014 #192

Of all the new words I never wanted to see coined "manspreading" would pretty much be #1 Ken Burch Dec 2014 #197

Uncouth and boorish. nt Lex Dec 2014 #201

Is there a website to shame these guys? mainer Dec 2014 #205

yes. see link in OP. tumblr thread w lots of pics Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #218

I had someone do this to me once on a bus Beringia Dec 2014 #211

wow. the ticket man knew the guy was up to no good Liberal_in_LA Dec 2014 #219

NY Mag interviews man-spreaders on video mainer Dec 2014 #213

There is such a thing as "transit etiquette".... LeftinOH Dec 2014 #214