How To Deal With The Narcissist In Your Life.... [View all]

[Little Star]

The Narcissist in Your Family


You know the sister who never talks about anyone but herself? The uncle who holds forth at Thanksgiving dinner, from the pumpkin soup straight through the pumpkin pie and brooks no interruption, and certainly no contradiction? You know the parent or grandparent or even offspring who has never been heard to utter the words, "So how are you doing?"

Well, get used to them, because you're stuck with them. For the most part, there's no divorcing or quitting or firing your family. Even though you only see them at holidays, weddings and funerals, they'll always be a fixture in your life. That means finding ways to deal with them.

The answer, most psychologists say, begins with the same advice that applies to dealing with a narcissistic boss: Don't personalize it. The self-adoring family member is responding to an inner script, which is very often a painful script. That's worth keeping in mind.

It can also help, say therapists, to establish your boundaries: Make clear what you expect from a relationship, or at least a conversation, and that it must include some reciprocity. Narcissists are characteristically obtuse, but they do have a learning curve. When your relatives make short work of you often enough at family gatherings -- turning away to have a rousingly good conversation with the person seated across the table -- the message does get through. "It's possible," says psychologist W. Keith Campbell, PhD, of the University of Georgia. "But it's not the natural course of things."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/23/dealing-with-narcissists_n_6350948.html

Well this explains what's going on. I was trying to verbalize what was going on in my life to a friend. I couldn't find the right words. All I could come up with was diarrhea of the mouth. Words just pouring out about self and never a question about what's up with me/mine. Low and behold I stumbled upon this article a minute ago and I'm really glad I did. Makes me feel much more understanding & compassionate.