How To Deal With The Narcissist In Your Life....

[OwnedByCats]

54. You nailed that right on the head absolutely

It's very disturbing for those of us who are a witness or victim of this behavior and mindset. I could not for the life of me understand it. All I ended up understanding was that it could not change. I'm so very grateful to have that very toxic person out of my life. Nothing good was ever going to come of that relationship. As predicted of course, he blamed me entirely for the failure of that relationship. It didn't matter that everything always had to be about him - the worst sin I could possibly commit was trying to make anything about me, even for a moment. He would say I was being selfish if I dared to do that. It didn't matter that he was incredibly untrusting (never believed anything I said) and verbally and emotionally abusive. He was controlling about everything from what I could wear to who I could be friends with (friendships with men were completely forbidden). It didn't matter that he had absolutely no empathy for me about anything. It didn't matter that he lied to me about practically everything. Just like you said, no personal responsibility whatsoever. He was a pro at turning everything around on me. It all was my fault alone in his eyes. Like I said, in the beginning it was different - he would say things he knew I wanted to hear, not meaning any of it of course. He did that to reel me in to him initially. Once he felt he had me hooked he stopped doing that almost entirely. Occasionally he'd still feed me something I wanted to hear (but of course would never materialize), but 95% of the time it was his way and if I didn't like it - too damn bad. I told him if things didn't change I was done, he just laughed at me or ignored me completely. I even laid it out in e-mails about how destructive he was and how much it hurt me, he claimed he would not even read them. His behavior actually got worse after I would take issue with something. The worst thing about this was he was in the middle of getting a degree in psychology! Can you believe that?? I don't know if he finished, I had to get out of there for the sake of my own sanity.

One good thing did come of my experience though - after I left him, I met the wonderful man who is now my husband and I appreciate him so much more than I would have had I not experienced the hell that was being in a relationship with a narcissist.