What do you do when you find out your father is a racist??

[Avalux]

8. It's very difficult to handle when our parents change as they get older.

I'm struggling with issues with my Mom right now; she forgets what she tells me from one day to the next and goes off on rants that have me on the phone for hours sometimes. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it.

I understand what's going on, but it's incredibly distressing and sad. There's not much you can do except love your Dad, in spite of what's currently going on; arguing with him will probably make it worse. Take care of yourself too - it's important that you are able to put this into perspective and not let it affect you to the point of going bonkers, or feeling as if your Dad has abandoned you (I feel this way sometimes about my Mom). Taking action can help too - might be a good idea to get him checked out by a doc.

As they (and we) grow older our relationships with our parents change; sometimes they become more childlike. All we can do is accept it and continue to love them for what they've given to us, and get them help if they need it.