General Discussion

Adrahil

(13,340 posts)

116. That's bullshit.

Sun Jan 11, 2015, 11:46 AM

Jan 2015

A rape occurs if it occurs whether or not the legal system recognized it as such.

I was raped by a neighbor as a child (I'm a man). I was ashamed, because the older boy who did it told me it was my fault. I never reported to the police, and I never even reported it to my parents. I was ashamed. I even had medical problems associated with the assault, and I STILL didn't say anything.

Don't you DARE tell me I wasn't a rape victim, or that my rapist isn't a rapist until some court says so.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

176 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Do men understand rape? [View all] ZX86 Jan 2015 OP

I never reported my rape. i was afraid that no one would believe me. hrmjustin Jan 2015 #1

I'm very sorry about that. ZX86 Jan 2015 #3

I don't understand why people hurt people either. hrmjustin Jan 2015 #4

I know it sounds silly but ZX86 Jan 2015 #7

too many people who never face the thing they decry can roguevalley Jan 2015 #87

What a blessing for you that your old grandpa was available and truedelphi Jan 2015 #105

Can't think of anything to comfort you LawDeeDah Jan 2015 #24

I'm so sorry it happened. tblue Jan 2015 #64

Men Don't Think About Getting Raped wellst0nev0ter Jan 2015 #2

Really? I thought about it for YEARS after it happened to me. Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #72

Then Why The Dismissive Attitude Toward Rape? wellst0nev0ter Jan 2015 #114

I do not have a dismissive attitude toward rape. Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #135

The Dismissive Attitude Of A Lot Of Men wellst0nev0ter Jan 2015 #145

OOOOH! I understand now. Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #148

As you were told previously, an erect phallus means consent to vaginal intercourse. closeupready Jan 2015 #139

I remember the thread and the poster! Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #150

some do. some don't. KentuckyWoman Jan 2015 #5

That's my answer too nt MrScorpio Jan 2015 #16

Men do. Ink Man Jan 2015 #6

Does anybody? Xipe Totec Jan 2015 #8

as a man, here is my take on this.... politicman Jan 2015 #9

Ohhh, trust me. It is easy to stay silent. SheilaT Jan 2015 #12

no one can help if women wont help themselves by reporting it.... politicman Jan 2015 #15

I'm guessing you've never been raped, so you have no idea SheilaT Jan 2015 #18

what do you propose then, to believe every allegation and not give a chance for a defence? politicman Jan 2015 #30

Of course the man accused of rape should be able to defend himself. SheilaT Jan 2015 #106

Thank you for acknowledging the ambiguities joeglow3 Jan 2015 #166

wtf are you going on about? elehhhhna Jan 2015 #146

Hey, That Was My Question! ProfessorGAC Jan 2015 #159

Do you hold prison rape victims to the same standard? ZX86 Jan 2015 #19

heres my response. politicman Jan 2015 #27

Something happens to the brain when a person is raped. Most of us don't understand it because liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #28

Trauma JonLP24 Jan 2015 #34

thank you for this. I may recommend this to my husband. He is currently seeing a liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #35

Agreed. Even today on DU, I have been told it was not possible for me to be raped. joeglow3 Jan 2015 #173

true, we shouldnt judge any women, but we also shouldnt judge a man simply with an allegation politicman Jan 2015 #39

"So if women want more men to be punished for raping them, then women have to be the ones that liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #41

so every time a woman says she was raped, we need to automatically believe her? politicman Jan 2015 #48

You are one macho man. Control-Z Jan 2015 #54

really? politicman Jan 2015 #63

Right there with you. chervilant Jan 2015 #66

You keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself MineralMan Jan 2015 #125

No, it shouldn't be automatic belief whopis01 Jan 2015 #156

unfounded go into that up to 8%. it is not anywhere near 8%. it is 2-3% false claim. seabeyond Jan 2015 #157

Good information - I wasn't meaning to argue the accuracy of that statistic whopis01 Jan 2015 #165

ya. that is right. the info was in the other posters post. i was sure you point had seabeyond Jan 2015 #168

yeah with a 2% false report number one cannot be too careful. plus, elehhhhna Jan 2015 #170

Why do you exclude children? ZX86 Jan 2015 #29

children dont have mental capacity to know what is happening to them might be wrong. politicman Jan 2015 #40

"So if women want guys like me to understand" Ino Jan 2015 #65

all i want is to see the allegation be tested in court before i will label someone as a rapist politicman Jan 2015 #70

I don't want her to be automatically DISbelieved. Ino Jan 2015 #84

we have a justice system for a reason... politicman Jan 2015 #90

Thanks for mansplaining the justice system to me. Ino Jan 2015 #130

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #129

More bullshit alarimer Jan 2015 #141

+1000 smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #108

Yup. Ino Jan 2015 #132

Alert Results..... Logical Jan 2015 #21

LOL twice daredtowork Jan 2015 #58

I've noticed, that's why crap smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #109

Your lack of empathy for the victims is duly noted. nt geek tragedy Jan 2015 #23

how can i feel empathy for a victim if they wont alert us that that they were a victim? politicman Jan 2015 #32

It shouldn't be hard to feel empathy JonLP24 Jan 2015 #37

i feel empathy for every one, but i cant feel empathy for a specific rape victim if i dont know politicman Jan 2015 #43

This message was self-deleted by its author JonLP24 Jan 2015 #88

Not reporting rape Beringia Jan 2015 #44

if they dont report, how can anyone help them? politicman Jan 2015 #50

I think people know they have to at least try to bring charges Beringia Jan 2015 #51

thats all im saying. politicman Jan 2015 #57

And that's not enough. Jim Lane Jan 2015 #78

there are no other ways, either women report rape and take it to trial, or allegations are enough politicman Jan 2015 #83

Wrong. We have more than two policy options. Jim Lane Jan 2015 #94

If you were mugged on the street, CrispyQ Jan 2015 #122

+1 n/t A Little Weird Jan 2015 #144

I didn't report my rapist. LeftyMom Jan 2015 #60

you wont like this, but in the name of discussion it has to be written. politicman Jan 2015 #67

I actually don't give a damn what you think. Now fuck off. nt LeftyMom Jan 2015 #68

What a disgusting post. JTFrog Jan 2015 #121

Falsely accused of rape, were you? Otherwise, WTH is wrong with you? SammyWinstonJack Jan 2015 #136

As a man who was raped and is told constantly on DU I was the rapist joeglow3 Jan 2015 #174

I'm so tired of you. I should have done this way earlier but you are going on my ignore list. liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #154

Normally I'd alert on a post like this Aerows Jan 2015 #127

well said. there is a huge difference between deeming accusations credible and the mess of a bettyellen Jan 2015 #137

"...if you were really raped..." chervilant Jan 2015 #62

no one is patronizing, i am just asking for evidence before beliving any allegation politicman Jan 2015 #69

If somebody posts "my car was stolen last week" do you ask for a scan of a police report? LeftyMom Jan 2015 #73

+1000. Well stated! nt adirondacker Jan 2015 #76

your scenario works against your argument. politicman Jan 2015 #77

Jesus Christ, you're thick. LeftyMom Jan 2015 #79

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #86

You're still confusing a criminal case with the facts of the situation. LeftyMom Jan 2015 #91

This message was self-deleted by its author A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2015 #93

+1 LiberalLoner Jan 2015 #99

My standards are the satndards our justice systems expects.. politicman Jan 2015 #95

So you're saying that for thirty years after that girl was raped and murdered LeftyMom Jan 2015 #96

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #102

That's bullshit. Adrahil Jan 2015 #116

he DARE tell you. and it is allowed. i am sorry. nt seabeyond Jan 2015 #119

That's not the way reality works gollygee Jan 2015 #143

Blech... chervilant Jan 2015 #74

I can't even believe you are still here. smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #110

WRONG WRONG WRONG! Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #75

there is no victim until a court finds there is a victim, until then its allegations only. politicman Jan 2015 #81

What you don't understand is just because it hasn't been proved, doesn't mean it didn't happen! Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #85

so now we are supposed to place blame on someone for something we have no way of knowing if happened politicman Jan 2015 #92

Are you fucking kidding me?! Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #97

Actually I need to ask if it is you that is fucking kidding me? politicman Jan 2015 #98

Pathetic. Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #101

Yes, but H2O Man Jan 2015 #142

LOL ... oh dear lord. thank you for this. I needed the break from that horrid tripe above. Tuesday Afternoon Jan 2015 #152

Oh boy, you have really bizarre logic there. Neoma Jan 2015 #172

There is a world of difference between reality and legality. Adrahil Jan 2015 #118

Wow. I'm not often at a loss for words. NuclearDem Jan 2015 #133

At the risk of victim blaming in the other direction ZX86 Jan 2015 #13

Good work. You managed to use just about every MRA And misogynist talking point. geek tragedy Jan 2015 #25

try this question... politicman Jan 2015 #33

Because real life is different than what you imagine in your comfy chair. jeff47 Jan 2015 #46

fine, but its not me that is not reporting the raoes, its women themselves politicman Jan 2015 #56

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #49

ouch. politicman Jan 2015 #53

Your ignorance of this subject is quite frightening and all too common Quixote1818 Jan 2015 #100

..... politicman Jan 2015 #103

The only person or persons that usually know about the rape are the woman's closest confidants Quixote1818 Jan 2015 #113

for a couple decades, i never told those that i love, that love me about my rape. all men. seabeyond Jan 2015 #115

here is a hide, i felt interesting. and i disagree with the hide. yes, longtime feminists on du seabeyond Jan 2015 #117

You should stop. You really should stop. MineralMan Jan 2015 #126

You put your finger right on the reasons for my unease, geek Hekate Jan 2015 #42

+1000 smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #111

tell you what, mr. man.... Raster Jan 2015 #38

So we should believe every owmen automatically and throw the accused in jail straight away? politicman Jan 2015 #45

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #47

why do you need to put words in my mouth? politicman Jan 2015 #52

Why on earth does any woman need to convince smirkymonkey Jan 2015 #112

I was raped by a woman in college and been told on DU I am a rape apologist, a woman hater, joeglow3 Jan 2015 #175

Alert Results... daredtowork Jan 2015 #55

Lurk more. AtheistCrusader Jan 2015 #61

That is complete and utter bullshit alarimer Jan 2015 #140

So putting together your arguments, seems to come to this whopis01 Jan 2015 #167

Yes, of course they do...IMHO Laura PourMeADrink Jan 2015 #10

Sometimes the victim reports it to the DA. Manifestor_of_Light Jan 2015 #11

By not coming forward, it further reinforces it being hard for the next victim mythology Jan 2015 #14

Great post! Rec'd (nt) LostOne4Ever Jan 2015 #17

Very few people take psychology classes in school so the majority of the country does not liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #20

In this discussion of rape, I have read that even when a person goes to the police Beringia Jan 2015 #22

+1000000 liberal_at_heart Jan 2015 #26

Thanks for this post...I believe this is one of the .... prairierose Jan 2015 #36

I don't come across people like that JonLP24 Jan 2015 #31

A woman can walk naked, drunk out of her mind, down the darkest alley at 2am, I don't care. AtheistCrusader Jan 2015 #59

I know what rape is. Behind the Aegis Jan 2015 #71

That seems ugly and hateful. flvegan Jan 2015 #80

How am I supposed to answer your question? Kevin from WI Jan 2015 #82

I get what you are saying about attitudes about rape, but Jamastiene Jan 2015 #89

You have no concept of victims. You think you arthritisR_US Jan 2015 #104

Op's like this fascinate me... trumad Jan 2015 #107

Better thread title would be Pooka Fey Jan 2015 #120

It's a no-win argument. Igel Jan 2015 #123

This OP is ridiculous. Threedifferentones Jan 2015 #124

This message was self-deleted by its author Kablooie Jan 2015 #128

So a male rape victim assaulted by a man (we don't care about agressor's sexual orientation) Pooka Fey Jan 2015 #131

"We just can't connect emotionally" - You got a PHD in pschology out of a crackerjack box right? Veilex Jan 2015 #149

This message was self-deleted by its author Kablooie Jan 2015 #153

Must have been QUITE a few. n/t lumberjack_jeff Jan 2015 #158

Hearing and experiencing rape are certainly a far cry apart... Veilex Jan 2015 #160

This message was self-deleted by its author Kablooie Jan 2015 #163

Quite possibly one of the most disgusting posts I've seen here over the years. Blue_Adept Jan 2015 #169

It is people who have never been raped who may never fully understand it... LeftishBrit Jan 2015 #134

Maybe "rape" is too loaded down as a word. Maybe in some contexts we should say CTyankee Jan 2015 #138

I posted this elsewhere a while back Orrex Jan 2015 #147

thanks for sharing Beringia Jan 2015 #151

As a male victim of sexual assualt..... De Leonist Jan 2015 #155

{ { { Biggest Hugs } } } Pooka Fey Jan 2015 #161

"This culture or false maschimo needs to fucking stop already" +100000000 Veilex Jan 2015 #171

Thank you for sharing. Sexual assault is NOT sexual. It is about power, about control. Raster Jan 2015 #176

Some want to learn. Some haven't learned yet. Some are willfully ignorant. chrisa Jan 2015 #162

lol n/t librechik Jan 2015 #164