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intheflow

(29,968 posts)

13. Why can't it be both/and?

Reply to Savannahmann (Original post)

Sun Jan 11, 2015, 12:10 PM

Jan 2015

Adoption is obviously awesome for some people and sucks for others, and runs the gamut in between. There are people who are curious about their birth parents (for both healthy and unhealthy reasons), and there are adoptive parents who should never be parents (just like non-adoptive parents). This binary "my experience is the only valid experience" baloney in our culture has to stop. This isn't an so much an invective of you - you are, after all, reacting as a product of both your adoptive experience and of binary culture - but of the media which pushes these either/or opinions which make things sound worse than they are.

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Adoption, the conventional wisdom is it's bad. I have a little experience, and I say Pfui. [View all] Savannahmann Jan 2015 OP

What conventional wisdom are you referring to? N.T. Donald Ian Rankin Jan 2015 #1

Several articles over the last few years. Savannahmann Jan 2015 #3

I've never heard of adoption being characterized as bad... Takket Jan 2015 #2

Not so much "bad" as "traumatic" Proud Public Servant Jan 2015 #6

I won't dare speak for you. Savannahmann Jan 2015 #22

then you've not met enough... Duppers Jan 2015 #24

There is an active "adoptee rights" movement that seems to think adoption is harmful pnwmom Jan 2015 #26

My Father and his brother were adopted yeoman6987 Jan 2015 #4

Gotta agree Proud Public Servant Jan 2015 #5

My sister and father were adopted... Adrahil Jan 2015 #7

Sounds like you have a good and loving family. I think it is a positive that these days, Sunlei Jan 2015 #8

Thank you for this. onecaliberal Jan 2015 #9

Just remember, theaocp Jan 2015 #10

I have seen trans-racial adoption slammed as "cultural genocide" here on DU. Nye Bevan Jan 2015 #11

I actually walked away from DU for a year or so over that attitude. Coventina Jan 2015 #12

Why can't it be both/and? intheflow Jan 2015 #13

I am adopted as well - el_bryanto Jan 2015 #14

I am truly happy for you. Tribalceltic Jan 2015 #15

I don't think I've ever met any adoptee who was sorry s/he was adopted. It isn't the adoption that 1monster Jan 2015 #16

adopting a child is an act of love. abakan Jan 2015 #17

I was adopted along with my siblings B2G Jan 2015 #18

The main reason adoptees have more problems surely has to do vanlassie Jan 2015 #19

Conventional wisdom says adoption is bad? SheilaT Jan 2015 #20

good point. nt Duppers Jan 2015 #27

i'm adopted as well -- couldn't love my folks more. xchrom Jan 2015 #21

As the father of two adopted children (now adults) I say "bunk" to that conventional wisdom. Scuba Jan 2015 #23

You brought tears to my eyes. Duppers Jan 2015 #25

My son and daughter in law adopted spartan61 Jan 2015 #28

Agree pathansen Jan 2015 #29

not adopted eccl Sep 2016 #30